Almost almost almost done.
Moving sucks. Moving alone sucks multitudes more. I will expand one day. Not today. No. Not even.
Almost almost almost done.
Moving sucks. Moving alone sucks multitudes more. I will expand one day. Not today. No. Not even.
Thought I would forget my “update-per-day” thing, didn’t you?! Well HAH!
I am so tired and so sore in so many places, and I wish there weren’t still more but there IS. But I’m much less disgruntled by this point, and that must count for something.
I drove a UHaul around Rochester today, and by jove, it must have been the highlight of my week. Seriously. There’s something I enjoy about driving a large, slow vehicle that is massive enough that you can see everything. I learned to drive on a Ford Aerostar, and those things are basically trucks, right down to the engine. This was like that, but more-so. I mentioned this to my Dad over the phone, and he told me that if nothing else works out, I can always be a truck-driver. My response: EXACTLY.
I wish I were joking. But the truth is that I like to drive. A lot. Normal-sized vehicles, yes. But apparently also large vehicles. And long distances. So…you know. Viable option?
In other things, I have curtain problems! I went to Bed Bath & Beyond and stared at curtains for what must have been a good 40 minutes. I need many curtains, but am frugal, and indecisive.
I need sleep.
In case you’re wondering, moving is terrible.
Okay. Seriously. This is the reason I always need to have some kind of snacking thing with me at all times, especially when there is physical or mental stress occurring in life. Because otherwise I die and hyperventilate.
Also: just found out they are putting new windows in my apartment. Thank God. There was some big rotting piece of wood falling off of one of the windows in the bedroom, and this along with my not-having-eaten-in-hours made me get all…you know. Ranty about how everything in Rochester is old.
Also: I do not have as much stuff as I thought! I still have stuff. And a lot. But not quite as much!!
Aren’t you happy that I’m blogging again? Constantly? Multiple times a day? Every time something happens or I get cranky?! YOU BET YOU ARE!
I am that dangerous combination of sleep-deprived, hungry, and stressed out. It’s making me all woe is me! and distressed and calling people randomly and being a bit of a loose screw. It’s not fun and no state one wants to be in while trying to freakin’ move.
I have moved very few of my things, but I have at least gotten into the new apartment and had a chance to size up the situation a bit more since initially seeing it and…I have a question: why does everything in Rochester have to be so OLD?
I saw a good five apartments before seeing the one I finally went for. And they were all just so…old! Decrepit-looking, no matter how spacious. After spending three years living in a pretty old and truly decrepit apartment in Champaign-Urbana, I vowed to live my life to higher, newer standards! But that’s just so hard here. The houses are ancient. The apartment complexes are early 1900’s. It’s like you just can’t win in this city.
Unfortunately, my new place is no exception. It too is old. With some problems. And nowhere near as spacious as the place I’ve lived in for the last year, even with the consideration of going from a 2-bedroom to a 1-bedroom. I suspect I’m going to have to box up my tiny kitchen table and store it for a year. And I’m pretty sure my Dad — who was never a fan of my old C-U place — would be the first to comment on the old-ness. But it’ll do. And it will definitely definitely become home-ier as I furnish the place as opposed to throw boxes and bags at an empty, sad room.
So yes. That is the story of my day. I am tired and my new apartment, like everything else in Rochester, is old.
I am not getting things done. And I feel kind of crappy! What is up with that?! I’ve either legitimately caught something or this is me being allergic to something (straw…berries??!?).
So. I fixed all the nonsensical things and extra words of the last entry, you one person who reads my blog, you.
I started ushering last night. It’s alright.
I had a dream about Ghost Hunters and a whale last night. Weird.
That is all. I’m going to go actually be productive.
The following may be incoherent and weird because I am tired:
Remember those days? Those good old days when I said things like “Holy Man” and “ZOMG” and gave real details about my real life on my blog? The days where I was all “Facebook! Twitter! Social Networking! I don’t hate or want to quit them all or anything like that, ahahaha!”? I do. Those were the days. I miss those days.
I must contemplate on a daily basis how much fun and how refreshing life would be if I quit Facebook. I don’t know if this will ever happen, because I value certain things about Facebook such as instant communication with certain people that I would probably otherwise not have. Also stalking. The problem is that I like people. But only sometimes. And now that Facebook has reduced itself to primarily foisting other people’s statuses in my face, my love for people is dwindling fast for some reason.
My problem is the way Facebook works and functions now — pretty much identically to Twitter, i.e., a series of status updates. When they took away the ability to actually see how people update their own information, Facebook pretty much become a more intricate Twitter. Twitter on its own is fine. Simple. Facebook seems excessive in comparison — and I’m comparing, oh boy! The other problem I have is with people who decide to be overly-critical and judgmental in a public internet place and then I get angry. But I’ve noted that’s a problem I have in life, not really social networking.
The underlying thing here may be that I’m starting to realize that as fun as it is to be a stalker, I end up feeling pretty empty without the actual “human” part of human interaction. I like getting updates from people from real conversations as opposed to a status update sent out to the universe, especially from people who are actually my friends (and not just massive updates from people I vaguely knew in high school). And the more “meta” things become about the internet the less I want to be a part of those things.
Apparently I once used expressions such as “Holy Man!” in my blog.
Yeah, I don’t know. I finally got to sleep around 8:30am or so, to have to some really effed up dreams involving moving to an apartment with adjustable walls so I could create more space in certain areas if I so desired, except the walls got stuck and for some reason the positioning made my room impossibly tiny with the door unable to close and this was very upsetting. And then I realized I was late for some audition I hadn’t practiced for and left to go to the audition-space to hear a snare-drum and flute playing in the style of early colonial military music…
…At which point I woke up and realized there was actually a flute/snare-drum outside my window prepping for a Memorial Day Parade on East Ave. And it was WEIRD. It was so WEIRD to wake up that way. Also annoying.
So I’m just holding out for a reasonable bed-time and really hoping I actually sleep well tonight. I think I’m going to re-start season 1 of The Wire to help lull myself into severe, violent Baltimore-ish dreams. Yes. Because I think second time around could possibly be even better than the first.
And just a note: I generally can’t stay on AIM or Gmail Chat long on my “borrowed” connection as said connection likes to go in and out on a regular basis. While this doesn’t effect general web-browsing and blahging, it does effect chat. Sorry one person I talk to on Gmail Chat.
Other than that, I don’t know. I’m slowly starting to pack. Oh what fun I will have moving all my shit this week.
I guess I’m revisiting that whole “can’t sleep, ever, at all, in history” episode. I don’t understand what my body’s problem is. Give it gluten: can’t sleep! Take gluten away: can’t sleep! Go for crazy-long runs and be physically active for hours at a time in one day: can’t sleep!
I don’t think the super-nova occurring outside my window every morning as the sun rises helps, either.
To conclude: glaaaaaaarrrrrrh.
Four summers ago I was trapped at home suffering from a debilitating case of nothing-to-do and an excessively over-active brain. Never good. I did the only logical thing one does in that situation and raided my sister’s bookshelf. The first thing I read was A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again, a collection of essays by David Foster Wallace, which contained this perfect combination of delight and severely making my brain hurt (especially the essay about television and writers). I had to have more. I then did in Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. And when I was done with that, I picked up Infinite Jest. And then put it back down. The book is well over 1,000 pages, minus end-notes. I might have read 30, 40 pages from it before I was distracted and had to go back to school.
The following summer I was home again in a similar situation, and once again made use of my cosmic reading powers. I started Infinite Jest and managed to actually read 400 some-odd pages before leaving the states for a good 5 weeks in lieu of major orchestral tour and did not bring the book with me (whatever. books are heavy!). Of course, when I got back I was all sick and sleeping a thousand hours a day. And then school started again and I left the book at home.
I returned home at a later point and searched for the whereabouts of the book to find that, woe is me, it was gone! My sister had taken it with her to wherever she was living. I thought to myself “well, I could go out and buy the book, but it’s already been so long that I’d want to re-read everything and I sort of want to read non-Infinite Jest books for a while.” And that was that.
When David Foster Wallace died last September, I knew I needed to finish reading the book but I honestly never knew when or how I’d get time or dedication for that. But the time is now. NOW.
For two reasons:
1) This summer I am a bum.
2) Infinite Summer, a group put together by some of my favorite bloggers, among others, to read Infinite Jest during the summer of 2009 between June 21st and September 22nd, making approximately 75 pages a week. Which is doable, am I right? John Hodgman calls it “A Noble And Crazy Enterprise.” I love you John Hodgman!
I am so in. I went out and bought my copy today at Borders with a 40% off coupon I had lying around. Go me.
This entry would be about The Wire, but maybe some of you want to watch it at some point in the future and I would hate to spoil things. I guess I could sum up all five seasons in a spoiler-safe manner in two words: Oh, McNulty.
I finished the last season today. Damn.
I think I’m actually avoiding gabbing about The Wire in an entry because I’m lazy, and holy shit if blogging about the complete series takes thought and effort.
It’s also late. I’m just going to throw out the possibility that I’m tired.
So, to conclude, go watch The Wire.
In case you weren’t aware, Flickr Uploadr hates me.
Somewhere back in March I wrote this. And it’s still true.
Because try as I might, I care about what other people think and am far too aware of the feelings of others. Stupid human flaws!
It’s good and bad. On the one hand, being perpetually aware and concerned for other people’s feelings allows me to connect more easily with people on a one-on-one basis, possibly because it’s easy to sense when something is off or wrong OR when something is good or pleasing. And I suspect this could be why people sometimes find it easy to voice concerns or rant or just talk to me about what’s happening with them, occasionally some pretty unlikely people. And I really am concerned about other people’s feelings and well-being. Sincerely so. I want people to feel good. If the people around me are unhappy or experiencing emotional turmoil, it really makes me uneasy.
On the other hand, when it comes to my sensitivity towards other’s feelings regarding the way they feel about me, it’s bad. Really bad. A lot of times I can just push that away. But I’m a pretty paranoid human-being in the first place. And whether I like it or not, maintaining peace and harmony with others is one of my main goals in life, socially. If I sense something is out of whack, or bad, and that I may be part of the reason why, I tend to get all anxious, paranoid and ridiculous in a “woe is me” kind of way, which is usually when people actually become annoyed with me. This in turn leads to general misanthropy. Curmudgeon-ly-ness. The works.
And between how other people feel and how other people feel about me, I’m all overcome with this hyper-awareness of emotions and it SUCKS. And it doesn’t seem to be getting any more tolerable the older I get. If anything I seem to become more and more of a basket-case as I get older. It makes it difficult to blog. Be part of social networks. Talk to people.
So in case you were wondering why I’m all cranky and introverted all the time, that’s why.
Anyway. That’s my entry for today. Now GO AWAY.
Look! Look at me! Second day in a row!
I’m currently in Spot Coffee. And there are fun times to be had here, I’ll tell you what. I’m pretty surprised at how nicely the connection I’ve been schmoozing from my neighbors has been treating me. I can usually go for about 20 minutes before I’m booted and then I go do something even better than using the internet like…play Kingdom Hearts.
My parents were here through last weekend and early this week, on their way back from officially moving my sister to Brooklyn (three days before she became the 11th person in the past year to be fired by her crazy, bi-polar boss. It’s okay, though. Everything is working out, maybe, I guess). It was very nice to see them, though I maybe don’t recommend living in a 2-bedroom apartment with your parents for more than like a day, if at all possible.
Anyway. Important things that happened while they were here:
1) We went to Thali of India for their lunch buffet. I’ve been meaning to talk about Rochester food here for a while. Just know that if you want the best Indian buffet, anywhere, ever, for a very reasonable price, Thali of India is the winner.
2) They bought me Saranac Ginger Beer. 42g sugar per serving, uh huh.
3) They bought me a TEEVEE!!!
It’s not like I needed a TV. I’m not even sure I wanted one. I don’t watch much on the telly. And the things I do watch I tend to later view online. There’s also this thing where there are old TVs laying around at home, just waiting for someone to use. But we went to Best Buy so my parents could research fancy TVs for themselves, and saw this LCD 19″ flat-screen thingy that was an open box deal, and there you have it. Part of me wonders if my parents saw this as a good short-term investment on their part, as having a TV in my apartment meant that they got to watch it with its various digital HD channels while staying there, and it’s not like there’s anything else to do. And so we watched it. And they watched it.
And as I’m rediscovering, it’s also nice having a TV as it justifies my owning a PS2. That part where I mentioned Kingdom Hearts…well…yeah. It’s also nice since my DVD-incapable computer renders me pretty bored, especially without consistent internet.
So hooray for that. I don’t deserve a TV. But I’m spoiled. The end.
Oh, and a good story: it was really super-crowded when we went to Thali of India on Sunday for lunch. In the past I’ve gone on weekdays usually around 1:30pm, and it tends to be pretty quiet. Not so on Sundays, apparently. We ended up being sat next to this maybe middle-age-ish lady with her teenage son. And she was a talker. Please keep in mind that extraneous use of vowels is accurate. First encounter:
Lady: Oh my gosh, I loooooove your glasses!
Lady: I need new glasses! I’ve been looking for glasses like that for soooo loooong! It’s so hard to find interesting ones. Where did you buy them?!?
Me: Um, a shop, in my home-town in Illinois. Uh, sorry. That’s all I really know.
Lady: Uh-huh! I wish I could have a pair like that!
Okay. I love my glasses. Never in glasses-owning history have I been so happy about these frames. And I like friendly people. But…yeah. Boundaries, lady. Boundaries.
We went on eating. And enjoying our food greatly, occasionally conversing amongst ourselves. And then the most awkward thing ever occurred:
My Mom (asking about pronunciation of the restaurant): So, how is it pronounced?
Me: Hah, like my name. Tah-lee of India.
Lady (who apparently just really enjoys inserting herself into other people’s conversations): Oh, what’s your name?
Mom: It’s Talia.
Lady: Oh, haha! That’s so funny (you know, ’cause the restaurant sounds like my name).
Lady: Where is it from? Are you named after someone?
My Dad (who is grumpy and hates people even more than I do): After the Greek Muse of Comedy
Dad (unnecessarily loud): The Greek Muse of Comedy
Lady: Oh! How interesting!
Mom (who does not hate people quite as much as my Dad): It’s also a common name in Hebrew.
Lady: Oh! Are you Jewish?
My Dad: *major eye-rolling*
My Mom: He is! *points my to Dad*
Lady: Oh! *asking my Dad* Are you from Israel?!
Mom, Dad, Me: *headtable*
My Dad: No.
I don’t think there are actual words for how awkward this was.
I am going to blog once a day. Yes, once. Per day. Even though I don’t really have internet right now. Even though I’m moving in a week.
Seriously. Things have got to get moving. I have got to get used to writing on the internet again. Even if it’s not about what’s going on in my life. Even if it’s not about my feeeeeelings. Because I’m pretty sure I no longer give a crap who is reading.
Yeah, that’s right. SCREW YOU, READERS!
I mean, NO! Stop, come back, I neeeeed you! Icaresomuch!
*edit* It is extremely important for you to take note of the fact that CHUCK HAS BEEN RENEWED! YAY! At least another season of Zach Levi’s stupid hair!
*subsequent edit* …starting in February 2010 after the Olympics. Damn me.
I sometimes have an internet connection when I angle my computer just so, thanks to some neighbors, somewhere. Not that they know about this, or anything.
Part of me enjoys not having constant internet, as I have to do other things, like read, or make my own weird fun. Changes it up a bit. I am not going to enjoy those few days where my CD-rom drive is being fixed, for the sheer lack of ANYTHING with some kind of a glowing screen to look, seeing as there is also a distinct lack of TV. All the better to force me to pack.
I am moving. Likely in just over a week (details still being settled). It’s a nice place. Just a little down the street (up the street?). Next to the Rochester Regional Joint Board (I kid you not). I still don’t know how I’m moving, but I have volunteers to help me. I imagine it will be pretty great, or maybe insane considering our fragile musician bodies.
I also have a job. Yay! Nothing exciting. Just dressing in all black and handing people programs. It’ll get exciting if patrons decide to be “violent,” or “unwanted street people” try to get in. I might eventually have additional job, but I also have an unpaid internship going, and who knows how much time this is all going to take up.
There are some hardcore summer projects on my mind as well. Must make time for those.
This has been an update. Straight from the fingers of Talia. Who is tired and nonsensical.
P.S., I fixed the “buny” from the last post. I think I was experiencing sausage fingers when that happened, or something. I will probably look at this entry tomorrow and find at least two mindless mistakes. I know how to spell “bunny.” Really.
Star Trek. So good. Too good for things. Such as proper fragmentation. Of things like sentences. No. Really.
It was REALLY. GOOD. Please go see it right now.
I love Star Trek. I am a fan. Though by no means am I a proper fan. This is perhaps because I’ve seen only occasional episodes of the original series. I’ve mostly obsessively watched The Next Generation (even though it gave me nightmares when I was young, specifically the episode in which Jordi LaForge morphed into some blue, vein-y alien, marking the start of a four-year period of being absolutely terrorized by the idea of aliens and being abducted by them in the night). I am probably less familiar with the original series than I ought to be for seeing a movie like this. BUT. I know enough to be completely floored and ridiculously giddy at the stupefying casting. I can say no more.
Oh. Except for…
Dear Winona Ryder,
I know some of it had to do with the movie make-up, but…
Are you okay? What’s going on? Is something weird happening? I’m going to just assume there is, maybe because you look….weird. And yeah, I know, people get older. Yes, even you in all your glorious-ness! But when people get older, I don’t think it’s a requirement for them to start looking…cracked out. And so I’m concerned. Because I love you! You used to be SO GREAT. Hell, I used to want to be you, especially back when I was all bitter about looking like I’d been switched at birth, resulting in some Swedish family ending up with a dark-haired, Jewish-looking little girl. So stop it! Whatever “it” is! Okay?
Some of you may recall that I was having CD-Rom troubles a few months back. That I thought I would need a new CD-Rom drive because my Macbook was refusing to burn discs, and was spitting out all discs except for DVDs. It was lame.
I took the Macbook into a local Apple certified repair shop. Really nice peeps. Verified that I didn’t need a new CD-Rom drive, but that mine just needed a good, $90 cleaning, which I was more than happy to give it (better than the $250 new Cd-Rom drive alternative). They also replaced the top cover under warranty (TWICE, due to spastic track-pad syndrome).
So anyway. I got it home. And I used audio discs! And burnt audio discs! And watched The Wire off of data discs! And it was so exciting. SO EXCITING. And then I tried to run a DVD, one disc from a season of The Office. And it spit it out. And I was all “maybe the disc is old and decrepit?” and pulled the denial card thanks to stress reasons and pretty much just watching The Wire And Chuck reasons. So this was all maybe two weeks ago.
And the funny thing — no, the stupid thing — is that they had to change my admin password when I took my computer in the last two times. And they told me I could reset it using the Apple Install DVD. And so finally, tonight, I got the disc out and was like “awRIGHT. It’s time to update software and shit!” and the computer spit that disc right. out.
I suspect I still need a new CD-Rom drive. Because A) that shouldn’t be happening and B) Apple CD-Rom drives are doomed within the first few years of life as many fellow Apple owners can attest to and C) I can’t update software, change major system settings, or do much of anything truly important without the admin password. And the OCD person in me must do important things! On the computer! Right now!
And it’s cool. I understand. These things happen. The computer will go back in. I will become a book-reader again. It will be great.
So, as the cool kids say, FML.
I haven’t been blogging because I also haven’t been sleeping. As it turns out, sleep is a major contributing factor to things like energy, creativity, and positive thinking.
When I don’t sleep, there aren’t many positive or worth-while things to share or contribute to the world or whatever. It’s actually somewhat of hazy, miserable, occasionally nightmare-ish existence that I don’t really feel like being a part of. It’s not something I have control over, either. It’s a combination of stress, anxiety, and being the lightest sleeper in the world, and it sucks. Please don’t be the lightest sleeper in the world while simultaneously stressed out. Please.
If I were really smart, and not totally paranoid about sleep enhancers, I would get myself some Ambien or something. I’m even contemplating Tylenol PM or NyQuil, despite my best efforts to stay clear of that stuff for fear of never sleeping naturally for the rest of my life.
In the meantime I’ll just be surly and cranky. Nyyyyah.
P.S. If Chuck gets canceled I will cut someone. Maybe you.
See?! This is why I don’t blog while under the influence of extreme lack-of-sleep.
I am less of an emotional basket-case than I have been in the past, but still an emotional basket-case. It’s an improvement. But still problematic.
When will school end? When? When? When?