Today was rough. Despite all the stupid crap I’ve been through in the past that should have made me stronger and less susceptible to my own idiotic brain, I still hate leading sections, whether I’m tired or alert or whatever.

Moreover, I’m so blonde, and my ass really hurts. Thanks go to you, hiking in high altitudes, up hills.

What am I whining about? Last summer I climbed Mt. Washington.

I miss last summer. So many good things. My summers alternate between making me question what I want in music and making me realize exactly what I want to do in music. This summer is the former. I also think that I have less satisfying social experiences in orchestra things. I don’t know why. It’s just an observation. Jeeze. You people are so serious.

I really am blonde, though. It’s pretty alarming.

My string quartet is playing all of Shostakovich 8 tomorrow night at the Honors Concert. Heck yeah. If there’s one thing I hit the jackpot with this summer, it’s my chamber group, uh huh.

A Little Off-Time

listening to: stereolab – brigitte

I can’t stop listening to this song I can’t I can’t I can’t.

Today I learned that there is such a thing as a remote-control fart machine, and that it has in history been taped underneath a conductor’s podium at one time during the vast history of the universe. Does that seem like the worst idea on the planet to anyone else?

Despite the fact that I survived the summer festival malaise of the past week, my throat is still just being…annoying. And I hate it. And I want it to go away. So I think that tomorrow between our dress rehearsal and our concert I will actually go to the Urgent Care place. As opposed to “waiting it out another day” or “being distracted by some other illness.” Hah.

For now, though, if I do not spend some amount of time running around in the out-of-doors, I think I will die, or shake someone. An so because I am free until 2:45, I will go do that. Yes.

Should Be Taking Better Advantage Of This Technology Crap

listening to: stereolab – mars audiac quintet, as i have been listening to for just about every waking moment of the last two weeks

thinking: I should really reinstate the “thinking” part of entries, and perhaps even turn them into a label. Because remember that one time when Blogger launched this thing called Blogger Beta and I got all excited because you could use tags except they made me wait like TWO MONTHS because I had over 2,000 entries or some crap like that?? So why aren’t I tagging better advantage of the tag/label feature?! Laziness, that’s why.

Anyway. “Thinking.” Yes. This could have something to do with my obsessively reading dooce.com for the first time in a while. Eyep.

On a similar note, I need to do better with the “sad or awesome?” label. Because it’s great. I’m serious. Go read sad or awesome? entries right now.

I Am Having The Best Summer Ever, Germ-Wise

It must be Tuesday morning when I wake up and I have the freaking stomach bug that’s been plaguing the universe.

Awesome, I know.

Yesterday morning I woke up and inherently knew that the last thing in the world I was interested in was food and eating it. In retrospect, I’m glad I listened to my stomach. We went to Garden of the Gods yesterday morning, at which point I felt “okay.” Just a little displeased in the stomach. But by the time we left Garden of the Gods I knew it was a not-okay sort of thing.

We were back by about 11:30am, at which point I crapped out on my various playing obligations of the day, went back to my room, and slept for approximately 8 or more hours. I’m not quite sure. This whole sleeping for about 17 hours out of a 24 hour day is not normal, combined with the desire to shun all food for eternity. So, yes. Sickness for all! Fortunately, I have not vomited once, but this doesn’t necessarily mean I experienced any less stomach discomfort. In fact, I wonder if vomiting would have made things better.

I woke up this morning feeling a little better. With an actual desire to eat, at that. Upon entering the dining hall, though, I realized that all I really wanted to eat or look at food-wise was possibly toast, and a little peanut butter. I guess something is better than nothing. Saltines are also an acceptable form of sustenance at the moment. So…bring it on, finer cuisine!

I did however basically fall over after being awake for a period of an hour, which signified I probably needed to continue in the trend of sleeping things off. So far today since 9am, I’ve gotten in about 5 hours. YAY. I think I need to actually try to be at an orchestra rehearsal tonight, but I’m starting to feel a little better so hopefully this will be possible.

In any case, this has been a pretty stupid summer in terms of my being sick. I guess I’m lucky I didn’t have any such encounters with germs during the school-year, but it’s really put a damper on my getting things done so far this summer, not to mention making everything going on feel muted and lukewarm. Crappy.

I look forward to feeling better. Send good health-vibes at me.


It must be Monday Morning when I accidentally ladel oatmeal onto my plate without a bowl. And when I wake up and my throat is showing symptoms of more of those weird swollen bump-things, and that sucks. And when my piano quartet group is going to be yelled at for canceling a rehearsal in which one of our players was sick with that stomach-thing. And I just want to sit around listening to Stereolab and reading or maybe just sleeping.

Yeah. Monday.

Oooooh Boy

As of this morning, approximately 14 out of 40-some-odd of us are out with a stomach…thing. A not-nice sort of thing that causes people to vomit. All I can say is that after over 3 weeks of having an infection and only just now starting to feel better, if I contract whatever this is, I will quite possibly hit someone in the face.

It was actually somewhat hilarious because apparently the director thought I had left our evening Beethoven rehearsal yesterday to join many others in vomiting. But that was not me. So when I ran into him this morning with my quartet, he was all like “Talia! Are you feeing okay? Are you alright?” and there was general confusion.

Regardless, I am pretty scared of getting sick. I think I’ve had my fill of sick for just about forever.

About Time

Finally, finally, after however-many years of my life that I’ve been occasionally playing in quartets, I am able to experience the demented absurdity that is Shostakovich 8. And Holy Hell’s Bells, do I need to find some page photo-copying solutions. Man.

But what I really meant to say was: it rocks ass.

An Update, Finally, Right?

Whoa, hey.

I would possibly blog more if the wi-fi was more reachable from my room and if there were hours of in the day in which I was free and not exhausted. Oh, and also if I were not dying.

I’m not actually dying but whatever this throat infection thing I’ve had since about three weeks ago doesn’t want to go away and is proving this to me in some pretty not-awesome ways, such as weird lesions in the back of my tongue which hurt and made me into the biggest hypochondriac for a period of about twelve hours after I had just arrived in Colorado Springs. Hooray! I think I called my mom, cried, and exclaimed to her that I was afraid I was going to die. So anyway. I’m starting to feel better. I think. Or get used to it. Either way, I hope I can make a recovery soon.

The drive here was pretty okay, to be completely honest. I like driving. A lot. I mean, I must like driving if 15 hours on the road didn’t seem like a huge deal. A big part of me is actually trying to figure out if I should try to do the whole drive in one day on my way back to Illinois. But probably not. The more I think about it, the less awesome an idea it seems.

Oh, right, the best thing that happened on my drive over occurred in Colorado. I had just hit I-67 which takes one from just within Nebraska to Denver, and the road was pretty much desolate. Sometimes a car would pass me really fast, or I would pass a truck, and I’d go “oh, boy, that’s pretty exciting.” And actually, I have to admit, this is where I got really excited because there was tumble-weed rolling across the lanes of the interstate. I mean, I’ve never seen tumble-weed. And it signifies and old-West-ish-ness. So….shut up.

But anyway. This car starts to pass me, I notice. And then it slows down to my speed and drives right next to me in the left lane. So I’m all about to start yelling, as I do sometimes, and then I look over, and it’s ROSS!!!! It’s ROSS, OH GOD!!!! In the middle of I-67 in Colorado!! With his girlfriend Michelle driving!!! And it’s just…so ridiculous! And we both roll down our windows, and all I can make out is that he’s on his way to Aspen. And then they pass me and drive on, but we call each other and the world is just way too small.

And yeah. Things. They are good. Very busy. I want very badly to run around in the mountains and also not in the mountains, but there is no time. Or there is time, but I don’t feel completely well and would maybe rather just sleep and read. And I’m also kind of wanting to be home but also just move to Rochester and also be back in New Hampshire. So I’m clearly a little confused, or something.

Also: the food is less than awesome.

That is all.


I leave tomorrow. As for today, I’ve been the biggest spaz ever, and I hope those people over at Colorado College don’t hate my relentless and confusing emails.

Anyway. I leave tomorrow. I’m looking forward to the drive (though I hear Nebraska is boring). I just hope the prospect of social stuff in the near future doesn’t get to me. If you recall, I have a sort of love-hate relationship with summer programs, for the social aspects, mainly just because I am a social failure.

I recently mentioned to my parents that I’m a social failure. I think my Dad was concerned.

I’m not actually a social failure. I’m just a big stupid introvert. Big difference. Though it’s easy to see how the two can be confusing.

If anything, I’ve gotten better about that stuff. And things will be fine. But I always wonder. And I always worry. Just a little. You know, before I get there.

And I’m babbling.

And I need to do things like organize music and fold clothes. Awesome.

Adios. Until tomorrow. Or Saturday. I mean. Tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday, then.

Curiouser And Curiouser

Whoa. I’m here. Really.

There’s just been so much stuff going on, in addition to the fact that I can’t seem to shake whatever crappy crap it is that’s making me feel sick. I don’t feel as miserable as I did last week, but something is still up. I would really like to be in optimal condition for Colorado College (which starts in Monday, yikes), but eh.

And on a slightly related note, I would like to thank my mother and the internet for making me a very real hypochondriac. Seriously. Paranoia + a mistrust of modern medicine instilled from a young age + reading about things on the internet = BAD NEWS.

So anyway. I’ve been playing this two-day jazz gig. And trying to learn this absurdly difficult set of excerpts from Beethoven 9 and Shostakovich 1 for an initial audition at Colorado College. And trying to learn Dvorak (aaaahahahaha). And trying to keep up Haydn D. And the only real success I’ve had is in keeping up Haydn D. The more I play the piece, the more I enjoy playing it and the better I sound. I think I should only play that from now on, for the future. Ever. So I’m hoping I at least manage to not wholly suck for my audition when I get to Colorado. That is all I am hoping for. Practicing has just been so hard between feeling crappy and sitting in rehearsals/concerts for 6 hours a day. Certainly I won’t be the only one who gets there and isn’t prepared to perfection. Right? RIGHT??! Oh man, is it ever hard to know what to expect every summer for a new institute.

I can’t lie, though. As awesome as I’m sure Colorado will be, there’s some deep part of me that really really really really wants to go back to Heifetz and Wolfeboro, even though my main pals will not be there this summer.

I’m pretty ridiculously excited for the actual driving to Colorado thing. I’m going through Iowa and Nebraska, and am hoping I can take a good hour in Iowa City to veg and take some photos. Boy. Has it really been 4 years since I left there? Plus maybe some other roadside stops that are of interest, according to Roadside America.

In aural things, I have basically been listening to nothing but Broadcast for a week or so, now. It’s doing things to my brain, though primarily just making me kick myself for not sitting my ass down and forcing myself to understand more of Max/MSP last school-year, impossible learning curve and all. I want pretty intensely to continue learning more about sound synthesis and alteration through computers. Damn me and my desire to understand things.

But where was I? Broadcast. Everything about them is just right to me.