Burning Down, My Hands Are Tied My Feet Are Bound

Must! Blog! Before! Scheduled outage at 4:30pm PST!

As history shows, Chicago + Weather + The Beginning of February + Me = Bad. Tomorrow there’s supposed to be some kind of absurd snow-storm, and I’m experiencing all kinds of crazy trying to figure out how the hell to get up their for my audition and what to do if it starts snowing before I can even get on the road and blah blah blah. Thanks, world.

Today also seems to be the beginning of a very bad karmic streak for me. Hooray.

We’re Sailing At The Edges Of Time

listening to: bears – things i should say

Dear Bears: You guys can suck it.

listening to: brian eno – backwater

That’s better.

Have I recently asked the world: why me??

So uh, in weather things…what the fuck?!? I had all these plans to do things tonight. Gone. But I’m being semi-productive around the house. Er…I booked my plane ticket to Boston. And…I…cleaned things. And I called my Mom! And I daydreamt about going back to Heifetz. Does that make me sad?

Big Sigh Goes Here

Some days I just have to ask: why me?

Rebecca: Nevermind. It was Waka (I did in fact beat him). Like, the very first guy you fight, ever. And basically, I am dumb/incapable of adjusting to new battle systems. So is life.

Hair!! Maybe That Was Too Fast.

listening to: the high llamas – the dutchman

God fucking dammit! I hate Okami! It’s only the first boss of the entire game and I keep fucking DYING. And it wouldn’t be half as fucking frustrating were it not for the fact that you have to go back about five minutes every time you want to try again and OH MY GOD I DON’T WANT TO MAKE THAT SAPLING BLOOM, AGAIN, FOR THE FIFTEENTH, THANKS, GAME.

Anyway. Go back to whatever it is you were doing.

Know-how Regained!

listening to: lark quartet – shickele piano quintet

Oh my god! Celebrate! Throw your hands up in the air! Do some sort of dance! I seem to have regained all my missing cello know-how! For the record, apparently know-how is regained through slow practice and a good three hours a day. I’m so serious about that slow practice stuff. That’s where my calm and style and intonation come from when I play Haydn, apparently. And the third movement from hell is now playable! Yes!

So I feel good, about auditions. Better than I have been for the last week (every day has been alternating between “I feel ready!” and “holy shit I’m not going to get into grad school!”).

I will feel better, though, once I know I won’t get stuck in some kind of Cleveland Lake Effect Snow vortex on the way to Rochester, though. Fucking Cleveland.

Also, Eric lent me Okami. My list of favorite PS2 games has now been upped to three!! It’s so good. And so very Japanese, but not in the wiggity wack way that Katamari Damacy is. It reminds me very much Miyazaki movies, in artistic style and tone. Maybe more introverted, though (if that makes even a lick of sense). It’s also less like crack than Katamari Damacy. Maybe because it’s more of a long-term thing. And it’s more about restoring natural beauty and caring for the earth than it is rolling up people and skyscrapers and young virgins (I wish I were kidding — there is one level where you roll up as many young girls as possible in a certain amount of time. They all scream when you roll them up. It’s awesome). Aaaaaanyway.

I just want to mention — last night I watched the Miss America pageant. With people. And it was sad. Or awesome? And it made me revisit the fact that I have short legs. But it also made me revisit that one time where Mariah Carey apparently drew ab-lines on her stomach. Not because anybody did that, but you remember those things when you look at people’s abs for like…20 minutes at a time. Oh, hilarity. This was followed by reliving my senior year of high school and watching a LOT of Strongbad Emails and all 13 episodes of Teen Girl Squad. Oh god. I will never do that again. 13 is too many. All agreed on this.

And today all I did was work, practice, rehearse. And play Okami. Overall, successful day.

For the record: I hate Mariah Carey. I just thought this was important to share.

365Days Turnout

listening to: the high llamas – glide time

The end:

365.152 The End -- For Now

I forfeit knowing that I could have kept going if I’d have really really really really put some effort into it. But I also forfeit knowing that I’d like to get my new camera better, and that there are going to be some days very soon where I won’t want to be thinking about what I’m going to do with myself in the frame of a lens.

Or something. GOD I am tired.


Oh lord. The Nikon photos are much wider than the Kodak ones. Which maybe you can tell through my layout. Good thing I didn’t redesign my blog layout to fit those Kodak photos before getting a Nikon.

Wheat Intolerence And Other Food Issues: In Which I Admit Things

listening to: hymie’s basement – 21st century pop song

Rough day. Rough day lacking any sort of productivity in the smallest amount, due to writhing in immense pain on the sofa or the bed for a good number of hours. I either canceled all my lessons or they magically canceled themselves.

I can’t figure it out. These cramps, they haven’t been so bad for months. And maybe it’s what I eat. That’s what my mom says, certainly. And I’ve thought that in the past, if I’ve had a particularly wheat-filled few weeks beforehand, maybe that’s why I end up almost dying. It would explain this month, for sure. But then again, sometimes I eat a bunch of crap and nothing happens.

Whatever. The moral of the story is that wheat and I have issues with each other and I think we need a break. Not just a two-day break, but like a week-long break, two if I can make it through a weekend in Chicago without consuming some sort of bread product (it’s hard, being on the road). Refined sugar, too. I will adjust my meals appropriately and shift back to some wheat-free things I made last spring that I haven’t made since then.

I hate people who can eat however much processed and refined crap as they please b still look and feel great. For me? There are consequences. If I get stuck on foods with refined wheat and/or sugar for long periods of time, you can tell. By the puffiness of my eyes and the poor complexion and a lack of outgoing energy. And I can tell, by the way I feel and the cranky lack of energy. So I’m jealous of those people who do what they want with their food and it makes no apparent difference to them.

Then again, I think a lot people eat really foolishly. Like, some people concentrate on one type of food completely ignoring other food needs. The most basic example I can think of: a family member, who shall remain unnamed, will complain of thirst, get a carton or jug of juice out of the fridge, and drink TWO to THREE GLASSES. It’s called WATER, and it’s what most of your body is made up of!! Come on! I know that juice is very much full of water, and sometimes much-liked vitamins, but it’s also full of unnecessary sugar and calories that if you were to drink eight glasses of juice every day instead of regular water, it would hinder more than it would help. Jeeesh!

I know I occasionally eat way more than I need to (especially in going out to eat or being left alone with an fridge full of leftovers). But when it comes to meal planning for myself, I tend to be reasonably aware of making sure my body gets what it needs (i.e. something of everything), and that I’m not shrugging off one need for too much of another. It makes me worry to see how people a) eat the same things all the time (ie, no variety, especially in produce) and b) attend to so much processed, pre-packaged crap (even frozen meals. sorry guys who depend on those. i think exclusive consumption of those is lazy). I also feel like some people treat eating as a social event. Thanks to my freaking mother and her neurotic health-obsessed ways, though, I now think about what I eat in terms of what good it does for my body as opposed to just sating my need for food or being social (though eating out with other people is fun, especially if those people really appreciate food). And to think there are some people who have never known anything other than their current crappy eating habits. And then there are problems with eating too much or not eating enough. I mean you only need as much energy as you’re going to use. But on the other hand, you need to eat regularly, when you are hungry, or you’ll mess with your metabolism AND your body (and your blood-sugar, as I am now never going to shut up about this). Also: BREAKFAST, PEOPLE. WILL YOU NEVER LEARN??

But that’s not to say I am St. Talia of Healthy Living. There are major problems with being as idiotically food conscientious as I can occasionally by. Such as…where the hell is all the time I’d need to cook all the time? And…why does my kitchen such so much ass? I also get into ruts in which I am addicted to sugar, or wheat. And sometimes? If I’m especially stressed, I get into these phases of getting home, realizing I would rather not try at anything every again, and binge eat my way to being full. THAT is especially bad. It doesn’t happen too often, but when it does it’s just…it’s so unsatisfying, not to actually enjoy eating something, but I’m too lazy to do anything else. Procrastination and sheer lack of will at its best.

HAH! I said it! That I binge eat!

But anyway. I worry for the world. For so many reasons. One day soon I’ll write another entry entitled “We Are Fucked.” It’ll show off both my internet savvyness and my unhealthy level of pessimism.

Main point of this entry, though: today sucked. I accomplished nothing. I will eat no more wheat for a while. Things are stupid. The end.

Of Importance…

listening to: travis morrison hellfighters – catch up

Important things to know: The outside temperature is currently -1.4 F/-18 C with a windchill of -18 F/-28 C. That is really fucking cold and I do NOT want to venture outside today. Sadly, though, I must.

Another important thing to know: I am abandoning the 365days Project on Flickr, after nearly 150 shots. I know, I know. Was it too impossible to take a measly photo everyday, you ask? Yes and no. Yes being a combination of I am lazy, my new camera while wonderful is still in many ways a mystery to me AND I will have no appropriate tripod for it until I make some money, and between the frantic practicing that has begun and the audition traveling. No in that it’s easy to take a photo every day, but I really want them all to have a little thought put into them. Recently they have not had much of that, thought. One reason the 365days Project was going to be hard for me is that I have this stupid “Quality over Quantity” standard, which requires me to not care about how much there is of something but rather how important or interesting the existing something is. It’s stupid to be me.

I know that camera excuse is lame because the Nikon D40 takes some damn awesome point&shoot photos and is not entirely difficult to use, but it really is different. It requires more planning for self-taken shots. Plus, I’m still reading a lot about and need to put a lot of techniques to practice. If I have to spend a solid amount of my fairly limited free time with a camera every day, I would rather be concentrating on a bunch of shooting styles than obsessively grasping for creative and wildly-varying daily self-portraits.

As for my audition schedule, yikes. Check it out so far:
Feb 1st: NW (In Chicago)
Feb 8th: Eastman (In Rochester)
Feb 15th: UMichigan (In Ann Arbor)
Feb 29th: NEC (In Boston)
March 4th: Longy (In Boston, consequently I am just staying in Boston for like five days between NEC and this one)
Various days in between there: summer program auditions.

These are auditions are all on Fridays, meaning the Thursday and Saturday after is going to be spent traveling. This leaves Sunday through Wednesday for school and hardcore practicing. I so definitely do not need to be doing 365days right now.

And it’s true. I really rather would be using my excellent camera for photographing places and things in my free time. Not myself. My plan is to perhaps restart the project sometime in May or late April. That’s a way better deal. Then the project can follow me wherever I go this summer (JAPAN?) and next fall (SOMEWHERE DIFFERENT?).

I have clearly put way too much thought into this.

Wordly Learning

listening to: why? – speech bubbles

Things I learned yesterday:

1. Nobody comes to open the music building on official university holidays, which of course are days in which we plan studio classes or lessons (actually, I relearned this).

2. The other people in this apartment need to eat more Asian dishes. I made some very simple rice and garlic (recipe a la Rebecca), using a good deal of sesame oil, which has a very distinctive odor. And of course in my crappy kitchen there is no fan, so the smell carries and lingers, especially in the main entrance area. It is just a ubiquitous rule of living in this freakin’ place that when you walk in the main entrance, you will smell whatever anybody has been cooking if it’s happened within the past 3 or 4 hours. So last night around 7, my neighbor knocked on my door and asked me if I smelled gas. And I was like “….no. what are you talking about?” He said he smelled gas, very strongly, from outside. I told him I’d been cooking so maybe that was it. After a couple hours, though, I started feeling sleepy and a little headachey, and immediately became paranoid. I mean, you remember the CO detector incident from October, right? And…you know my level of jumpiness, right? But I still didn’t smell gas. So I took a walk, figuring if I could get the smell of whatever I had cooked out of my head, maybe I could detect this mysterious gas smell. So I took a moderate walk, came back through the main entrance, and what did I smell? Sesame oil. Not even slightly similar to gas. Geeez, people! Eat more Asian food and PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME PARANOID.

Anyway. I played in studio yesterday morning. And I was so grumpy that the music building had been locked when I walked over there at 8 freakin’ 30 on my one semesterly university holiday. But then Laurel and Eric made me laugh and everything was better. And I played! An entire Bach suite for memory! Which amazingly didn’t suck horribly. I’ve been struggling with giant, constant, ever-changing memory slips for at least a week. So it was amazing to get up, play, have that incessant, gut-wrenching worry about memory slips while I was playing but still keep going and manage to remember what was coming next. It makes me think that…maybe I need to tell my brain to shut the fuck up! And just ignore it! And concentrate on intonation. None of this change the fact that I need to do some serious cleaning up in the last two movements, though. Yeesh.

Three days ago, I decided that I’d had enough with my stomach acting up and ceased all consumption of wheat. While I’m currently going through that friendly phase of feeling like I want to gnaw off my arm if I don’t get to eat some kind of bread or baked good, I do feel better. It’s just so hard to keep this wheat thing up during the school-year. Or when Michelle is going to be in town and I so totally owe her homemade pizza (eh, one day). I’m doing an okay job of avoiding dairy and sugar, except for the fact that…nrrrrrh. Kefir! I need it! But I’m still not brave enough to eat the plain kind of kefir. I tried that last summer. It and I just didn’t get along.

No matter how hard I try, I know I’ll never be as strict with myself as I was for that month-long period last summer. Summer is an easy time to eat bland natural things. But winter during audition season? I’ll go out on a limb and say not so much.

In other things, I was asked to tour with Jens Lekman. I had to turn it down because of that minor detail where I’m a full-time student (YES!!! I SO AM!!! AS OF TODAY! I FINALLY HAVE MORE THAN 11 CREDIT HOURS!!!). So is life. La la la.

It’s Too Late To Be Thinking

listening to: brian eno – baby’s on fire

Wow, tonight has been the most ridiculous night, possibly ever. Highlights:

Watching all of Season 1 of The Office. Eating Chinese food. Having something akin to an entire RenFest convention sitting behind us at Chinatown Buffet. Making up some very true but occasionally rather not-nice eulogies for people (like “she tried,” for someone who will remain unnamed. mine would be “she lost it,” for those times where laurel and eric do something to make me laugh so hard i almost fall over and then make fun of my manner of laughing which in turn only makes me laugh harder. yeah. i think you just had to be there). the biggest and most ridiculous nerf-fight, ever. the ongoing saga of stealing-vee’s-phone, and the wrong places it ended up. vee being hit square in the eye with a nerf…thing. A lot of oddly placed “that’s what she said”s. A really really really great April fool’s prank. Did I mention nerf-fight?

Other things happened. I just thought I’d try talking about it, since I never talk about my day let alone my social life.

Also, I am tired. And nobody likes you.

Status Update

listening to: roommate – hollis

Oh man. I always forget that Cibo Matto plays at The Bronze in the 2nd Season of Buffy, and then I watch it over again and I die a little bit.

In other things, It’s 8 degrees F and I’m unproductive. Alright!

Low Blood-Sugar!

listening to: travis morrison – i do

Boy oh boy, in case you had forgotten how much of a walking recessive gene I actually am, here’s a little reminder:

Siblings Never Looked So Not Alike!

I dare you to name one feature that my sister and I clearly share. Yeah. Uh huh. That’s what I thought.

Hey. What’s up.

Remember that one time last year in Chicago when I randomly had a panic attack on stage in Orchestra Hall that really freaked myself and a lot of people out, and for a while my mom had me convinced it was from a food allergy (eh), or that I had anxiety problems (I do, but that is my one and only panic attack), or that I ate something laced with crack at lunch that day (highly unlikely… probably)? Well, as it turns out, I may be close to solving the mystery of that whole ordeal.

Over the weekend while I was in Chicago, I was having some weird stomach problems. Normal Talia stuff. Anyway. For whatever reason, my stomach would randomly bother me for a while, and then stop. This caused me to have the most erratic eating schedule ever, teamed with the fact that we would go from having nothing to do to being busy as hell.

Fast forward to Sunday afternoon. We’d had an extremely late night, the previous night (more like a kind of early morning, in fact), and with a few stressful things going on already that day, everyone was scrambling and cranky. And somehow, that day, I managed to end up not really eating anything substantial until 5pm. I’ve done stuff like that before, and it’s no big deal…when I’m sitting around on my ass with no real reason to eat. When it turned out, quite suddenly, that I had to drive to Evanston by myself to pick up my bow and then straight to our last performance venue when I had seriously never driven anywhere in Chicago save from Michigan Ave, Lakeshore Drive and Foster Ave, this was stressful. So stressful, in fact, that weird things started to happen like my heart pounding like MAD and my feeling dizzy and jittery and like I couldn’t just stand still. Like I just couldn’t breathe. And I realized, once I started my calming drive with a bag of Trader Joe’s parsnip chips by my side for sustenance, to Evanston and then to Milwaukee Ave that, WHAT HO! Those were the exact same symptoms I had when things started to go bad onstage at Orchestra Hall in November of 2006.

And so I reviewed the situation from that November, while my body calmed down and registered that I was putting really deliciously baked parsnips into it and completely calm having my own space inside a car. That day, I had definitely eaten a reasonable lunch, but no dinner and an additional two servings of caffeine in the form of tea. For that matter, my breakfast had been some sort of pastry thing, and nothing of nutritional value. And thinking about other situations, even the night before at the Empty Bottle, I remember having an empty stomach onstage and feeling really really shaky and high-blood-pressure-y. It even explains why I’ve almost lost it a couple times during my own recitals, because for whatever reason I’ve always assumed it would be better for me to eat less before a recital, in case there’s a nervous-quease factor involved.

So I’ve finally concluded that what did me in was (possibly?) low blood-sugar. When it comes to eating routines and schedules, I am a creature of habit, especially when it comes to food. I have a daily routine, throughout which I give my body everything it needs throughout the day. Sometimes if I have nothing to do all day but sit around, my body needs less, and thus I can have a “snack” as lunch, or sleep in late and have a lunch/breakfast. But if I have to be doing things all day or one big insanely stressful thing I need to do, there’ve got to be protein and fluids and a comfortably full stomach involved.

So this panic-attack thing? Definitely related to low blood-sugar. Now I know, if I’m going to perform or do anything exerting, I need to eat something substantial beforehand. Or if I’m in a tight schedule situation, I need some fruit or snack right beforehand or I’ll apparently need to be taken to the hospital.

Anyway. Stuff.

I Do Not Appreciate These Things

Two things I should apparently avoid talking about in front of the general populous, or at least people my age:

1. My distaste for Sufjan Stevens

2. My burning, fiery hate for The Garden State.

I’m serious. I hate that movie so much. What a piece of shit. I wish others who hate that movie would reveal themselves so we could be kindred haters of that movie.

A Special Week Of Blogging

listening to: stuart davis – good wyrd

random amusing quotes: “Talia…don’t let hilarious things happen.” — Good advice from Keturah.

Oh my God, Stuart Davis. Stuart Davis Stuart Davis Stuart Davis.

Your latest album! So good! So well-meshed and mixed and written and perverse in so many ways. I just…I just…

There are a lot of reasons that I miss Iowa City, but seeing Stu is a big part of it. Is that sad or awesome? Well, it’s really just sad.

Anyway. This is the week in which I rave about albums that I just got ahold of that I really like. I will mention the crazy Swedish band Dungen another time.

Oh. Here’s the disturbing video to this disturbing song, which I’m sure I’ve posted before.

And here’s one that just makes me…oh man.

Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I had stayed out there. It’s not often. I like who I am and how I’ve grown, even if I feel like I’m missing stuff in my college experience in general. But I think I am definitely, once again, idealizing things that I had to leave behind or cannot have.

Oh, me.

About All Y’All…

listening to: travis morrison hellfighters – i do

Holy God. Travis Morrison, I dig your new album. A lot. I liked your last one alright, despite Pitchfork’s ass-hattery (ass-holes). It had some extremely enjoyable moments and the general premise and theme of the album gets me every time. But this? Oh boy.

(Colin, you were right)

That’s really all I had to say. Also, that my mom is hilarious. I promise to talk about Chicago sometime.


listening to: rusted root – ecstacy

No big Chicago entry right now.

But do know, I got over my crankiness despite a serious lack of sleep.

Actually, last night’s sleep, in the bed in my own apartment, may have been one of the best I’ve had, despite extremely bizarre dreams of flying and running from ghosts and then convincing some 16-year-old girl I had befriended to sneak into my old junior high school to try and defeat some other weird ghosts with me and her being all skeptical about the existence of ghosts.



I am off to Chicago. Eventually. I hope. God.

Anyway. If you are in Chicago, you should come hear Till by Turning at…

-Danny’s, Friday night, 7:30, located on 1951 W. Dickens.

Empty Bottle, Saturday Night, 10pm. Located somewhere on Western Ave. We’re also playing with Roommate, who is awesome and Christy and Emily (I am not really in a direct-linking mood this morning. Sorry.).

Elastic, 7pm, click link for more info on location, etc.

Or don’t come, because most of you probably don’t live in Chicago, anyway.

Okay. Alright. Must go.

Too Cool For School

I keep opening new windows and directing them to Blogger because I want to blog and then forgetting about them. Current Blogger window count: 4.

Anyway. I apologize for the last entry of crankiness. It was uncalled for. It lasted until about 12:30am right before I was about to go to bed and Rachel called me. We talked about getting into physical fights, and how to be creative and unpredictable. I’ve never been in a real fight, and I’m a wuss. But I think I’d do well with biting. I have very long and sharp canines (like, the teeth, not the dogs).


Yesterday was awesome. A) This Nikon D40 came. And it’s fabulous, in every way. I haven’t taken that many actual photos yet, though. Mostly just reading about it. And I must say, the possibilities are endless. Like, this is so much more awesome than point-and-shoot photography ever could have been. Now I just have to sit my ass down and try out things. That’ll take a while.

But it’s not even the endless possibilities that I love. It is the actual camera, and the way it feels in my hands and the noise that it actually makes and how-camera like it is. Not like those digital point-and-shoot things. And I suddenly feel like I’m writing porn. Anyway. You know something? I really like having a bigger camera. I noticed over the summer when I had a lot of people asking me to take photos of them using their tiny, pocket-sized cameras that I honest-to-god SUCK at taking pictures, because my releasing the shutter would move the camera and BLUR. BLUR. Not a problem with said Nikon D40.

Anyway. Pictures will come after my weekend in Chicago, and also after I’ve uploaded about 800-thousand from Christmas, first. Augh.

But the other awesome part of my day occurred when B) I went to my old high school to teach the cellists there. Well, first I played for the whole orchestra, the prelude to the fourth suite. Ahahahahahahahaha, it was so bad. I had about 10 memory mistakes. I mean, I hadn’t even planned on playing when I got there, but it was suggested, and I agreed, and the rest is very poorly memorized history.

But then I went out and worked witht he 5 cellists on bowing and Sevchek. And please keep in mind that the only real teaching experience I had was last year with that kid who did not really like the cello who didn’t want to sit up straight whose name I couldn’t even remember. So this was cool. And even if I felt like I was talking at an ear-shattering volume and that I was explaining too much, I totally had fun. And even if those kids think I’m loud and crazy, I got something out of it. Hooray.

Also, the current cellists are way nicer than the kids used to be.

It’s no longer weird to go back to UHigh. I think now I expect that everyone is young, and that’s fine. It helps that I’m older than I should be for undergrad, and that the college freshman who came in this year and last year looked tiny to me. Also, I no longer really miss high school. I am beyond it. I am too cool for school, as they say.

Tomorrow I’m headed for Chicago to play stuff with people. It is doubtful I will blog again for a while, unless I have oodles of free time. You never know.

Look for photos soon.

Oh, but wait. Responses:

Josephine: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY thanks!

M.E.D.: Buffy Omnibus is a Buffy-related comic, dealing with things related to the series but a lot of it before or after the stuff we saw on the TV. I have only leafed through the Graphic Novels I have seen, but they look awesome.

Michelle: Strength In Numbers. And don’t forget crazy Sam Bush on the mandolin. And That Other Guy whose name I don’t remember, on dobro.

I Hate Things!

listening to: oh. nothing.


I just drove through a serious thunderstorm. In January. Back from Champaign to find that…no. No Nikon D40.

I mean…I know. I’ll shut up. But…just…I was really looking forward to it. A lot.

And this weather is fucked up. Supremely. I just drove through torrential downpours, absurd amounts of lightning in 60 degree weather. In January. At some stop sign in the old and quiet part of Normal, a distant bolt of lightning illuminated the entire street to highlight Christmas Trees sitting on people’s curbs to be picked up. It’s weird and wrong, this weather.

I’ve just got to say it again: WE ARE FUCKED.

Oh, God, but we so are.

So anyway. There’s the fact that we are fucked, and also the fact that I have not yet received my camera. Which sucks. But whatever.

And I think I left my phone in the car.

Augh. I am in intense need of some lebkuchen or…something. Jesus.

But I had a really really really really good lesson. Really.

Repeat After Me…

listening to: number girl – mangasick

I will not buy Buffy Omnibus. I will not buy Buffy Omnibus. I will NOT buy Buffy Omnibus.

Will not. Absolutely not. No Buffy Omnibus for me.

Why, Oh Why?

listening to: the high llamas – up in the hills

You guys. I can’t stop listening to The High Llamas. It’s becoming problematic. I think I just listened to this song on repeat like 5 times. It’s turning into that weird internal minimalistic thing where it’s in my head all the time and it shifts into other things but still remains the same song on some weird fundamental level.

Also: I don’t want to be eaten by cats. P.S. If you read kottke.org, you probably saw that like a month ago. What can I say. I was cleaning out RSS feed.


Why? Why can’t I break away? Maybe someone else can tell me.
Up In The Hills
In The Yacht
Green Coaster

Oh Sean O’Hagan. Why do you do this to me?

Blah Blah Freaking Blah

I promise not to talk about the rank and depressing history of Springfield, IL. Or how many times Lincoln was moved and reburied. Promise!

Wait. Who is it that wins at pre-screening rounds? Oh, that’s right. ME.

So…I did it! I get auditions at Eastman and N.E.C.! Except…

…shit! I’m taking six auditions?! Shit. That’s a lot of auditions.

Yeah. In case you weren’t aware, I very last-minute sent an application in to Northwestern, because I felt like I hadn’t applied to enough schools that will leave me paying off student loans until I’m in my mid-50’s. Oh, but I think I mentioned that before. About auditioning at Northwestern. Oops.

I have to admit, a very tiny and cynical part of me was a slightly disappointed that I got an audition at N.E.C. because now I have to start practicing just that much more. DAMN YOU, BENJAMIN BRITTEN.

And I need to start practicing the correct Britten unaccompanied suite. Because it turns out, that 2nd suite is engaging and distracting enough that I’m kind of ignoring those end movements of the 1st suite that just have too many notes in too small a duration. Last movement, I’m looking at you.

In other news, Nikon D40 is in transit. Rejoice!