listening to: jill sobule – don’t drop dead
The end is near.
I won a bet last night. It was the final Stars of Tomorrow concert (student concert), and it was supposedly going to last from 7pm until forever, there were that many people playing. So anyway. Cory and I made bets on when the concert would end. She said 9:30 and I said 10, which translated to Cory winning if the end-time was anywhere up until 9:44, and me winning anywhere from 9:45 onward. The winner would have to buy the loser jimmies at Bailey’s after the concert (that’s $.25, so you know. Huge freaking deal).
We kept pretty consistent track of time through the whole concert, but by about the last two numbers on the program, it was clear it could go either way.
So the last group gets on-stage and they’re playing the last movement of the Brahms Piano Quartet, and of course every group has to have an opening speech before they play, and it is mentioned during the speech that the movement is exactly 9 minutes and 33 seconds when they play it, and based on that, it seems like Cory is just going to pull in as the winner. So they finish, and everyone is applauding, and it’s 9:43!! And it seems like it’s over, until the head of the institute has to get up and make a final “thanks for coming and come to our final concert tomorrow” speech, which still technically counts as part of the concert. And we’re peering obsessively at Erik’s cell-phone, which is the official time-keeper and has already hit 9:44. And every time Danny says “um” into the mic or uses some unnecessarily long word, I am pretty sure I can see Cory dying a little inside, because the second he says “goodnight,” the clock hits 9:45. Everyone in the audience applauds and we yell (and throw your hands up, if you’re me).
So I won jimmies last night. They tasted like victory.
(note: Jimmies are Sprinkles, in case you’re from somewhere not around here)
Honestly, I am both a mix of very sad and somewhat happy to be leaving.
The sad is in that…I can’t believe what a positive, productive and simply happy environment this has been. It is exactly what I needed, considering how miserable things were towards the middle and end of school and how I basically spent the first part of summer moping by myself going “musicians are ass-holes and I’ll never find a place to fit in, in this crazy, stupid, political, competitive field.” Of course, it’s still crazy and stupid and political and competitive, but I’m just…I’m something. I’m really comforted and just happy to find that there are so many people out there who are supportive and energetic and positive through it all.
I’m also sad to leave the learning atmosphere. It is intense, and sometimes overwhelming with so many faculty having so much to share. Honestly, the prospect of the learning atmosphere is part of why I was here in the first place, and it did not disappoint. While I did not learn HALF the music I wanted to during the last six weeks, my brain is full of all kinds of thoughts related to how to play the cello and I think it’s going to change a lot of things about how I learn music and how I play and all that jazz.
Also, my friends. After last year, I somehow also had the idea that I just wasn’t meant to make friends, or something. Or that I was just kind of the least desirable friend in the world. And I’ve made some really awesome friends. People who I am quite positive I will stay in touch with and likely see again in this ridiculously small world. And not just them, but everybody I worked with. The people in my communications class. Everybody was just so damn nice. You nice people, you!
Also, the location. Hello, New England, and mountains and bodies of water.
But there are also reasons I’ll be glad to leave.
Heading back to school is not one of those reasons. But enough about that for now.
I’ll be glad to leave to have some introverted shut-in time to myself. A repose. I’ll be glad to leave just so I can stop anticipating the act of traveling back home. Movement and travel is extremely important, and even with the mountain-climbing trips, it’s nothing compared to anticipating a big freakin’ roadtrip.
I’ll be glad to get back to my teacher. I have a lot to share with him. A lot of questions. I also miss just one person telling me how to go about playing, as enlightening as the four teachers of the past six weeks have been. The learning aspect is great, but I tend to be easily overwhelmed by technical junk. I actually mean to ask Amit about that in my lesson tomorrow, how not to end up hitting your head on a wall repeatedly when a lot of technical things are on the agenda. That was in fact the reason that I didn’t learn much music this summer.
I’ll be glad to hang out with my sister. I have some questions I want to ask her, as well as junk to share.
I’ll be super-glad to read the new HP book. My copy is waiting for me in Keene, NH along Route 9. God help me in my internet-less state starting this Saturday, after I finish.
I’ll be absurdly glad to go home and watch the rest of Buffy.
I’ll be especially glad to hang out with people in Normal and also go see Nickel Creek. Did I mention that anytime recently? No. Because I haven’t been blogging. HAH.
I’ll also be glad to get out of here and think. I have a lot to think about. Regarding my future. I hate future crap. Oh well.