1) When people say they’re your friend but in reality basically aren’t because they don’t give TWO SHITS about you when it comes down to it.
2) All the fucking SPAM in my university email account. FUCK you, spam.
3) Bow rehairs (in all seriousness, facetiousness aside)! Seriously. Love. Love. Love. I can play stuff again! Stuff like…Mendelssohn scherzos! Awoo.
Yeah. Number one sucks ass. But whaddya gonna do. If I’ve learned anything in the last three years, it’s that you can’t make people care about you, and even if you THINK you can, you can’t change people into not-jerks. Nevermind. I need to explain things less.
Haaaay, I saw my old bird Pete, today while getting my bow rehaired in Chicago. He didn’t remember me. It was sad. And all I wanted to do was scratch his fuzzy head. But he’s as happy and green as ever, so I guess I don’t mind.
I realized something today after almost four years of occasionally dealing with Chicago and the surrounding area (through cello-searches or CYSO). And it’s that — Chicago is one damn cool city that I NEVER want to live in. Really. I enjoy all the do-able and see-able (and eat-able) things of Chicago. But I realize now that every time I try to even IMAGINE myself living there, I alienate myself into oblivion. At first I thought that maybe it was the idea of a city itself, and that I’m too small-town and introverted to live in such a compact and populated area. But after thinking about a lot of the other cool cities I’ve visited and actually COULD see myself living in (Brussels, Berlin, Boston — hey, they all start with B’s. Coincidence? Or key?!), I realize that…maybe Chicago just isn’t my city? It’s weird, because my sister is currently back there (long story) and loving it. And a lot of my friends are either from there originally or moving there after school or already moved there.
I don’t know what it is. I’ve actually had a discussion with several other people about how it doesn’t seem like I come from the Midwest. To me, I know no difference. I’ve grown up here, and my only real complaint is that it’s sort of flat. But a handful of other people can’t seem to get over the fact that I’m the person I am and I was raised here. I’m guessing part of that has to do with my parents, who are VERY non-Midwestern, despite living here for some years now. I think it’s that they came from coasts and have lived abroad and for crying out-loud are musicians.
But regardless, people tell me I should be living somewhere East. Or, recently, West. I’ve never been to any West Coast city except for L.A., so I thought it was odd and kind of cool to hear from one of my friends at YOA that I seem like I would get along well with Seattle or Portland.
I don’t know. I think too much about stuff like this. Cities. Places of living. I think to avoid complications, I should just live in a hole in the woods.
I also think I should go practice with my freshly rehaired bow. AWwo!