Latenight Fatigued Stuff

listening to: cocteau twins – persephone

I really hope nobody was up stalking my Last.fm user page last night between the hours of 1 and 3 to see that I listened to this song about TWENTY TIMES in a row (thanks, insomnia. Love you too, bitch). Yeah. Probably not. BUT HOW ELSE AM I GOING TO ILLUSTRATE THE POINT THAT THIS SONG ROCKS?

So…tonight was a string quartet-planned Bachorette Party for Courtney, who is getting married in June. And…yeah. If you know me, you’re probably going “…HAH!” But hell, if a good time was not had by all. But…

You guys. Do you know what it’s like to have three other people (quartet members! oy! hah, it’s funny because they’re stalking my blog!!) yelling at you to show your boobs to an entire bar? Well, now I do. For the the record, I did not, repeat, DID NOT show my boobs to all of the Cowboy Monkey.

Random things: it turns out my sister did her undergrad at Oberlin with Sun Young. That is hilarious and awesome to me. She said that, even though she’s known me for a while, it never occurred to her I was Erica’s sister (yay, looking Aryan while my sister looks Gypsy!), but that it makes more sense than ever now, especially with how identical we sound to each other. Sigh. I should just turn my blog into the record of who I met that randomly knows my sister. And yeah. I love Sun Young, partly because she is the one who told me to yell “fuck you” and yank people’s hair back last semester when it was applicable.

Last but not least: cello weigh-in…

New case without cello: 10 lbs
New case with cello: 16 lbs
Old case witihout cello: definitely more than 16 lbs.

My lower back is a much happier one these days.

KERRY. WHEN ARE WE GOING TO WANDER COMPULSIVELY?

Ugh. Feel boring, useless, uninteresting to the world. Am probably just tired, as could not fall asleep until nearly 4am. Will go fix this.

We Suck

listening to: cocteau twins – pandora

Ohmygod. I really like Cocteau Twins. They’re like the less medieval-esque counterparts of Dead Can Dance.

So every year, for the last six years, I have played bass for the Uhigh senior choir concert. Even my freshman year, before I sang in chorus. And this year will be no exception. SEVEN YEARS. That’s ridiculous. But awesome. Especially if I get another free t-shirt…

Also? I suck. And so does Kerry. We suck.

Let Me Check My Dictionotomy!

listening to: swim – drought

GOD!! I love all these random crappy B-movie actors that end up being in multiple MSTed movies!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Robert Easton! In both The Giant Spider Invasion and The Touch of Satan (aka Curse of Melissa, aka Night of the Demon, aka The Touch of Melissa?? The movie doesn’t even deserve one aka, so how did it manage three???). I don’t know if I’m more sad for the world or happier for him that he’s been in so much other random crap. Like…he played a Klingon in one of the Star Trek movies. And is in some 2007 produced film called…Horrorween. Which is really hard to say. In fact, I care even less about this future film simply because I can’t say its title.

Yeesh. Both Robert Easton and John Phillip Law. There needs to be some sort of award for the status that these two have attained. Heeheehee!

You know, it’s sad, but I’m pretty sure that in the last few years, I’ve watched more completely awful sci-fi movies through MST3k than I have actual, moderately well-produced recent movies. Maybe this is part of the reason my brain-power seems to be declining. Seriously. I worry.

“Me lose brain? Uh-oh.”

Why….Why Do You Hate Me?

listening to: stuart davis – wizard

Okay. Hi.

So, maybe you’ve recently been noticing that I’m a little…hmm, what’s the word. Bat-shit crazy? Yeah, that’s it. In all honesty, I have been a wreck. Not a humongous obvious wreck. But just…not with it. My shit is not together.

It is decided that some daunting changes are going to be taking place in regards to one fairly ridiculous but very real part in my life: the internet.

I remember freshman year of college, when I was really starting to discover parts of the internet I had never known. The cool blogs! The random articles! The visually appealing things I could stare at for hours! Technology and communication and…just…awesome absurdity! Things that I felt were actually more educating and entertaining than I had hoped might come from the internet. I highly suspect that the internet in that particular form is what saved me from going completely insane while trying to figure out, during Spring ’04, what I was doing and where I was going and why things weren’t working out. Things since then have changed so much. Basically, the internet has become a center of excessive-ness, which does not help me to escape from my surroundings or discover anything. I have started wasting so much time, with things like AIM and the Facebook. Things that don’t take me out of my setting, but rather pull me further inward. And it’s made my computer into more a mindless time-sucking shiny machine.

Starting here:

1. Instant Messaging. My AIM buddy-list has been altered. Or rather, depleted. The only people who remain and will stay there are my actual friends, the people I know well enough to actually talk to. No random people who I only vaguely know and just add because I’m “curious” about their status, etc. Exceptions to this rule are a couple awesome bloggers I don’t know (ie, jkottke, wiley wiggins).

2. Facebook. I hate it. It is the biggest addicting waste of time in the universe. I contemplated for some time completely deleting my account. But I didn’t have the heart. As much as that thing is a huge waste of time and an encouragement of superficial, stalkish, drain-circling and backward behavior of the internet, it has also led me to re-connect with a few people I would otherwise have never talked to again. I feel that is worth something. And so, my account remains. But Tuesday, I made a few alterations to my account, and then vowed to myself not to sign in for any other reason than to approve friend requests and such crap. This is not just a random promise that I will only occasionally keep. I am sick of that thing, and I want it out of my life. I am surprised that simply not signing in turns out to be just as easy as compulsively signing in was, before.

3. Browsing. I have a fairly short attentin-span. I tried to use an RSS feed to help this, but generally it lead to me skimming basically everything and reading less in general, especially with blogs that were updated multiple times per day (ie, The Superficial, and others). I like the RSS Feed because it allows me to catch entries of blogs that are only updated maybe once a week. But I think that the actual act of visiting a blog has something to it that a feed can’t provide for me. Otherwise,I get bored. Also, again, the extraneous crap. Wasting time with stupid social-network type things. I’ve altered my bookmarks and toolbar-type-things so that I have a more accessible liste of blogs and interesting sites, as opposed to a one-click visit to something more time-wasting.

4. Boredom. I think in general, I could spend less time at the computer. The computer area has sort of become my default position of boredom. Whenever I’m bored, I move to it, and basically just shift to a different type of boredom, one with a glowing screen in front of me. And I’m not necessarily saying I should spend more time trying to be studious or at the music building (although…I should). There are so many ways for me to entertain myself that I just don’t subscribe to, anymore. Most of those being reading. Dammit! I need to read more.

And so I am going to try my very best to remove myself from the crap of the internet, and replace it with a bit of non-crap and even non-internet.

Best of luck to me.

Ever So Tired

listening to: shiina ringo – benkai debussy

Dwaaaah. End-of-the-year introversion is taking over my brain. Making me unpleasant and ultra-quiet. But then completely silly around others. I don’t understand what my deal is. At all.

I need to go running today after things are finished or I am going to go INSANE.

I filled out what I think was the most entertaining class evaluation form ever, this morning.

Now I must go be productive. And go to class. And play part of my dress rehearsal? WTF. Stupid unavailability of the memorial room and completely insane busyness.

Are You Ready To Put Him Back In His Own Body?!

listening to: gregorian chant masters – losing my religion

…DWAAHAHAHAHA! I love Renata!! Thank you, Renata. This pretty much makes my day.

random amusing quotes: “But Talia! You’re not a…a…nerd.”

I was a delinquent this morning. But upon skipping Music 408, I practiced for a good while. It felt excellent. I also moved my bridge around, trying to get a better sound on my lower strings. For FIFTEEN MINUTES. I think my going to Europe for free merits my buying a train/plane ticket to Albuquerque so a look can be had at my cello, by the maker himself. Who my parents were in the same music festival with in 1970, as it turns out. Did I ever mention that? I will not point out, once again, how ridiculously small the world is. That my parents were in the Colorado Philharmonic with the maker of my cello. 15 years before I was born.

I also went running today. But the weather has gone all early March on us, and it was somewhat miserable. But that’s okay. I did a good three miles. You know, it’s funny to me that back in the fall, 3 miles was the most I could do. But now it’s sort of the “short run” for me. My new max is around 5. It’s a good feeling.

I need to go do stuff.

Biggest Problem, Ever

listening to: prokofiev – romeo and juliet, death of tybalt

That’s what I need more of in my life. Prokofiev.

God. Nothing has been accomplished tonight. This is ridiculous. What is wrong with me?!

Ah, crap. The other light-bulb in my overhead light just went out. Pause for me dragging the floor lamp into my bedroom.

[Insert proper pause here]

Damn light-bulbs. Both out in within one week. My place is full of awesome. I need to fix this. Because light is good, and condusive to things getting done. Nnnhnnn, I’m getting so little done.

Yeehaw, I think I have a quartet for next year. With ALL BOYS. That’s so improbable, and amazing. If anything, just because I think there are only six or seven guys who play non-bass stringed instruments here, period. And as much as I love and am going to miss my current string quartet when they all graduate, being in a quartet with all boys instead of girls is a wild and interesting prospect to me. Think of all the…non-girlishness. And SNARK. Me? In a quartet? With Vince? Dear God, think of the snark…

Hrm. I’ve over-contemplated things until they decided to bother me. Things such as…other people giving up on me before they even know me just because I a nerd? This is definitely the BIGGEST PROBLEM EVER. And stuff. Okay, no, it’s not. It’s trivial and stupid of me to worry about. It’s something I should have been worrying about back in, say, 9th grade.

And so I am going to bed. In consideration of an 8am rehearsal. JEEZY CREEZY.

Got To Get What You Really Want x 300

listening to: rob and corey – untitled # 3

So I guess I’m going to Innsbrook’s summer program for that one week in June. Cool. Uh, I think.

Also, as I have four more semesters left after this one, and have gotten through none of the four required semesters of a secondary instrument, am reconsidering the possibility of making bass my secondary instrument (I was assuming it would be piano). Adrian is doing the same. That would be fairly absurd.

And other things.

The End.

*edit* WHOA. News to me. Someday I’ll be back in the loop, I swear.

A Real Update

listening to: tokyo jihen – service (live)

Real Entry for today begins…nnnow!

So. Weekend. Yesterday I had a very early coaching with Brandon. Although, I have to admit that I am an idiot. Because, we are working with both Sibbi and Brandon this semester, and instead of writing down which one of them we are working with for each coaching in my schedule-book, I just write COACHING in all caps, and think that I will remember who the coaching is with. Which resulted in my going back between the 4th and 5th floors like three time yesterday, and dragging Sara with me. Hyuk hyuk, I am smart.

The coaching was good, though. And afterwards, the thing which I have been waiting for happened, and Brandon almost walked off with my case (because my new case is the same case as his).

And then I went home, as it was my Dad’s birthday.

Which reminds me. HAPPY EARTH-DAY/BIRTHDAY to my Dad and Rachel!! YAY, APRIL BIRTHDAYS!

So yes. I went home for my Dad’s birthday. Even though he was in Fort Wayne playing as a sub for their symphony/orchestra thing. Whatever. He came home this morning where we had chocolate babka (because apparently my family is too good for birthday cakes these days).

But yeah. I got my recital outfit. Which, ridiculously enough, was the thing I was most worried about. And I’m not sure exactly how I feel about it. It’s a lot of green and brown. But whatever. It’s my recital. I can look like a hobo if I want to.

Also, my mother. Hhh. Where do I start? I love my mother, but you know how mothers are supposed to support you and try to build your self-esteem by not suggesting you are fat or ugly or deformed? My mother needs work on this aspect of her mothering-skills. Because…well, yes. This is an issue I will get into some other time. Basically, it’s not all that awesome when your mom says to you “Oh, good. You don’t look like a hump-back when you stand up straight.” Seriously. What is that?

In random, non-occurance things, I wonder if I scare people off by being me. Because…you know how I’m weird? And I like geeky things? Yeah. Trivial worries. People who have problems with my geekiness are not worth my time in the first place, or so the voices in my head are telling me I am supposed to say in this particular instance.

An Update About Updating, Kinda

listening to: pizzicato five – rock n’ roll

Update update update!

I feel like I never know what I want to say, recnetly. I mean, here in particular, when I blog. I think my main problem at the moment is that I’m uninspired and unmotivated. You’d think, wouldn’t you. End of school, approaching recital, very cool summer plans. But no. At this point I’m basically waiting for school to be over, and playing dumb about it. Maybe if I just close my eyes and cover my ears, it will all go away, and in two weeks I will emerge from this ignorant state as a happier, less waiting-for-impending-doom Talia. Hah, I wish.

And so I was noticing the other day that there is a definite lack of things that normally keep me sane, at this moment in my life. These things include the following:

-video games
-books (I don’t think I’ve read an entire book since Christmas Break)
-free-hand writing
-ridiculous watchable things like Star Trek
-unbiased, non-stressed music-listening
-the internet as more than a snooping tool
-sleeping in (seriously. I think I’ve slept in past 9am once since February)

I think the reintroduction of these things back into my life will be a step to retaining sanity. I don’t know what it is. I just get so wrapped up in school-work and orchestral things and occasionally just being over-contemplative or stressed out by them, and I forget how to keep myself from going crazy when I’m not busy.

And so, I have a plan for immediately following my recital, since that will be the end all of this semester. After my recital (and this could be the next day, or even the evening after), I am going to purchase Kingdom Hearts II. As my “congratulations on not dying this year” gift to myself. And I am seriously going around and play it until I a) finish it or b) determine that I am sick of it. But with my free time in the following week, I will also be able to read. And sleep. And run. And AVOID PEOPLE (in general, I mean. There are always individual acceptions, because contrary to popular belief, I do not hate all people. Just the general concept of people as a big giant evil horrible group. I’m crazy. La-lala). And learn new music on the cello. And be free and imaginitive and not full of weird anxiety. YAY.

So…yeah. If I make it to May 5th, I’m on the home-stretch (for school-work). Good luck to me.

And good luck to everyone else who is dealing with a grueling and possibly dangerously crazy end to the semester. YOSHAAA!

Kerry: If that surprise turns out to be Big Bird in Japan, I am going to go insane. In a good way.

No Sleep Till Coaching! What?

listening to: stereolab – excursions into “oh, a-oh”

Okay. So, I think that this week summons proof that me + anne + colleen + beth = bed at approximately 3am.

But THAT’S OKAY! Tonight we made Okonomiyaki! And drank Pocari Sweat! It’s been too long. I also forced MST3k onto my poor friends, specifically Overdrawn at the Memory Bank. And you know something? I’m glad I’m not the only one in the world who thinks that the “boohoohoo” Brilliant David Bowie Cameo lady is completely hilarious.

I have pictures. I will someday share them.

Something random I just thought of that I will definitely not remember in 6 hours: there was a letter to the editor in the Daily Illini about the CRAZY WILD TURKEYS! Sort of. But still, this is proof that I’m not hallucinating. THERE ARE IN FACT WILD TURKEYS ROAMING THE STREETS HERE.

Yeah.

It’s late. I should go to bed so I am at least somewhat rested for my 9am coaching. Oy.

Fingers Are Stupid!

listening to: the beatles – rain

I have overcome the Everything Sucks phase of my life. Only to enter the Fingers Are Stupid phase. This stage of life is quite comfortable for me. Horaay!

Lesson in 45 minutes. Followed by the long-awaited YOA-auditionee FOOD PARTY. Anne, Beth and I will gorge ourselves on Japanese food. And I might make them watch MST3k. The future is just so unforsee-able.

Bah, Exam

listening to: turtle island string quartet – spider dreams

Why, Talia, why? Why did you stay up until almost 3am, supposedly studying?? For an exam that basically required no studying?? Had I not stayed up that late, I still would have known everything necessary this morning, but also been less tired and unintelligible in my essay. Which, I swear, was equivalent to something I probably wrote when I was in fifth grade. The role of the performer, BAH.

I did rediscover the art of napping, though. It’s been a while.

I’m A Lucky Dog

listening to: cantiga – branle des chevaux

Whooshbam! YOA 2006 European Tour.

I called home last night, and when I told my Dad we’d be bumming around Belgium for ten days, he yelled at me (in a positive reinforcement sort of way. think of the kind of excited rambling I do about 5+ times per day. yeah. that kind of yelling) and called me a lucky dog.

Basically, I’ve realized that it doesn’t matter if stuff sucks right now. I am a lucky dog. And every time I whine and go “stuff sucks,” I will remind myself that I am a lucky dog. I think this could in fact be the Most Eloquently Worded Paragraph recorded in history.

Actually, the “lucky dog” line came from a movie, too. But…I can’t remember what movie. Err.

So…can you tell how much I’m studying for this 20th Century Form/Analysis test I have tomorrow morning? I don’t exactly know how to motivate myself, though. Especially in consideration of the fact that our last exam was graded based on completion. Asdf;laksjdrf.

Ugh. If I wanted to be awesome, I would preface my study-session with Colleen with a run. Especially since I’ve been running so much lately, and it feels SO AWESOME. RAAH. But sadly, I’m not awesome. In fact, I’m going to call home. Again. Because I’m a time-wasting tool.

Hurry It Up, Bygones

listening to: the microphones – the breeze

Oh shit. Turns out everything sucks. Time to move on.

Recieved a fairly interesting proposition via email today. All of life’s excitement comes from email these days. Email email email!

Uhhh.

(Note: Blogger was not kidding about that outage)

Excellante!

listening to: tokyo jihen – blackout

Uuuum. Hey, Tokyo Jihen? This song is pretty much the same song as Sounan, your first single. Remember that song? Yeah. This sounds just like this one. What’s going on?

Just wondering.

Note: a completely awesome thunderstorm and a fairly decent night of sleep later, and I feel about 50% less bitchy. Excellante.

Nyhlaaarh

listening to: cibo matto – birthday cake

Laalala, not studying!

Oh, and also: DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT (if you want to know, I am basically beating myself up for no reason. The usual).

Okay. So, things! Yeah. I don’t know. Basically, I’m kind of experiencing another round of extreme restlessness. But it’s hard, because I need to get things done. Like study. And WRITE A PAPER. And give a recital. And, yeah. I don’t know. I probably mentioned before that this is the time of year where something huge and absurd goes wrong and then transforms me into a nervous and idiotic wreck. And so I think I am reflexively assuming there’s something to go crazy about right now. Even though there’s not.

Yeah. I don’t know. I’m doing okay. I’m just waiting in anticipation of…something. I don’t even know what. That’s the worst. When you’re waiting for something. And then nothing ever happens, but the waiting! Oh, the waiting!

Also, I miss the days where the internet was my escape from things, instead of my prison of insanity. I do too much stalking and figuring out of people, now, instead of discovering of cool wordly things that take me away from people. This is all because of the facebook. And the sad thing is that I know I wouldn’t give up my current use of the internet if I had the choice. This is why a month of giving it up in the summer without a real choice will probably be awesome.

I’ve just got to say one more time that is sucks when people don’t give you a chance just because you’re younger than they are and a spaz. I can’t help being a spaz.

I’m whining. I’m going to bed.

Schizophrenia

listening to: r.e.m. – maps and legends

Most spaz-tastic few days ever.

This morning Anne and I sat in the sun and talked about our random end of the year craziness. Seriously. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Between last Friday and yesterday, I’m behaving like an imbecile. I pretty much always assume that it’s my doing, internally, when things happen that are stupid and wrong and bad. But then I get uptight and freaked out. It’s hard for me to question the actions of others when I pretty much always assume that everyone else in the universe knows what they’re doing, in comparison to me. And this is one other thing that needs to change in my day-to-day goings. For me to stop assuming that I am the scum of the earth.

Anyway, stuff.

I finally got around to registering for classes for Fall ’06. It’s looking to be about the same as this semester in terms of hours (ie, not too many), which is always good for leaving space for practicing, lessons, various rehearsals. No gen-eds, if I want to take Computer Music for Composers and Perfomers (advanced theory credit, yea!), History of Ancient Music and conducting seminar. But that’s totally okay. Yeah. One great thing about taking an extra year is definitely having the liberty of scheduling fewer hours.

Another reason I’m holding off on gen-ends is because I only have two more of them to get through, and some of the completely awesome-looking ones look to be offered in the Spring semester, anyway. Such as The Archaeology of Death. Must! Take! Class!

In more YOA things, I probably did not mention that my friend Emmy also got into the festival. Emmy and I were in Youth Symphony together waaay back when, and I actually first played with her when I was 12. And…YAY! WE’RE GOING TO ROOM TOGETHER! Exciting-ness.

Renata: I have written down L’HOMO ERECTUS in my planner, in all caps. I will do all in my power to go there. Because…well…yeah. The name pretty much indicates I must. RAH!

So, things seem to be somewhat up from yesterday, and improving. And with that, I sign off.

Pre-Practice/Research

listening to: sonic youth – stones

(damn, I like this song)

Jesus. God. Today was the spazziest day. Ever. It was ridiculous. I was just…all over the place. And not necessarily always in good, funny, energetic ways, that most people witness and go “haha, oh, that Talia is so silly.” Some were counterproductive, misunderstanding, idiot ways. I think Ann (my standpartner) thinks I’m an idiot. And I am completely behind her on that one. Just…WAAAAAH. I actually checked my biorhythms, because that’s what my parents do when everything goes wrong. Check their biorhythms. Everything is in decline except for emotional health.

Does anyone else have that one certain day of the week that always sucks? It’s Monday for me.

Also, I came upon the realization that when I get uptight about things, I am exactly like my Dad. Which is frightening.

I had another completely crazy dream last night. It involved driving around my dream-verse form of Bloomington, and visiting Kimb and her 8(??) sisters, and getting yelled at by her mother (who I’ve never met. sorry kimb. I don’t know what is up with my subconscious).

So, I’m actually thinking I might go to this Innsbrook camp thing. It doesn’t conflict with the dates for YOA. Kyra is probably going. We would get to work with crazy cello dude. And NOT live in dorms with annoying 14-year-olds running around. Apparently they put us with host families. Which um…well, yeah. That’s probably better than living in crazily close quarters with 8-million other musicians. Also, the lady makes pie. She said so in the letter. Who doesn’t love pie?

Just thinking about it, anyway. I think that honestly, part of the reason I am a little hesitant about going is that…that’s another week out of my summer, gone. And also, Courtney’s wedding is on the 3rd of June. And I would miss it. And that would be sad. But…well…who knows.

There is finally word of the official YOA itinerary. Remember how I said we were going to rehearse in Boston at NEC for a week before the tour? Well, I was pretty much making the assumption based on past occurances that I had heard of. It turns out we’re rehearsing for a week in Brussels, Belgium. So…oops. My bad? I don’t know. I don’t care! I’m going to Europe!! I wish I could take everyone with me…

But I have to get through the next few weeks of school, first. Unfortunately. And so I go to practice and research.

Calling On In Transit

listening to: r.e.m. – radio free europe

Man. I had a weird dream. Cut to ISU’s quad, which was a also a site for Roman ruins. And there were wild turkeys. EVERYWHERE (note: I saw another yesterday, in somebody’s driveway, just hanging out). And they were intelligent. Enough so that they were examining the humans on the quad and simply destroying those who did not reach their standards of brain-power. Myself and whoever else I was with (JaMeg, I think) passed their test, but barely. So they let us live, but kept a watchful eye. They didn’t speak in a human tongue. They just looked at eachother, clucked, and knew. Turkeys are a cruel people.

This somehow managed to go straight to a very small and secluded airport. It was like…a hangar, really. With a sterile-feeling waiting-room. And a bunch of cellists were there, most of them just random people who happened to have cellos. Schleicher was there, and I was talking to him about something, but he had to leave because there was a flight he needed to catch, out of the um, hangar. And then a bunch of bassoonists showed up but completely ignored me for the whole time they were there. I was apathetic.

In non-weird dream things, I have so many forms to fill out for YOA. I’m not complaining. Just exclaiming. But yeah. I already feel out of place in that…they ask you if you have any professional photos/head-shot photos and I’m just thinking…no. I don’t. And I tend to not realize that there are some people out there who actually do have official official photography of themselves for things like that.

Also, I think I’m going to scrap the idea of a laptop going with me on the YOA tour, completely. I’d rather just get away from computers entirely, if I have the chance.

I once again said the best thing ever last night, to Ben, after he asked if I was allergic to cats.

“I’m not that badly allergic to them. I mean, it’s bad if I pet them and then decide I’m going to put my eyes right in my face. … Wait.”

I obviously meant to say “put my fingers right in my eyes.”

Also, I got my acceptance letter from Innsbrook, this one-week camp thing for students ages 14-20. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking about that age-group, and I’m thinking of it, too. In fact, allow me to share with you the beginning of the last paragraph of the acceptance letter: “Be thinking about what silly thing you might want to do for the talent show this year!” Oy. Yeah. Don’t quite know how I feel about going back to another camp-ish summer thing.

Exciting! People’s recitals and crap. Must be off.

Of Course I Care More About Stuart Davis Than The Wellbeing Of Others!

listening to: r.e.m. – wolves, lower

Christ on a cracker. A tornado hit Iowa City! It looks fairly serious, too. I can safely say that the damage is much worse than what we got when a Tornado hit Champaign a couple weekends ago. I hope my pals there are all okay. And also the Mill (I suck, yes. But THE MILL, people)! Fwah. A Gallery of damage can be viewed here. That really must have been one hell of a storm.

Blah, Hiss

listening to: jill sobule – tel aviv

Bleah.

I’ve been a real grump in the past two days. Not even a 100% grump. More like extremely bi-polar and more willing to flash my total-bitch side at people when provoked. I suspect this is directly related to the amount of sleep I’ve been getting (or rather not getting) in the past few nights, due to random insomnia or loud things at weird hours happening above me or whatever.

But yes. I was fine for most of the day. It’s kind of freaky how my mood can just turn on a whim, and it’s also kind of freaky to realize how much of the time I make myself act reasonably cheerful when I may be otherwise.

So anyway. I had a lesson. Which I was definitely not prepared for. I had guaged that I would not be prepared pretty much the night before, and I was accepting of this fact. I figure I had enough ready that was completely workable-with. And that was definitely true. But remember how in the last entry I said that I feel like I’m in great shape and should probably not practice so obsessively for my own sanity? All crap! It’s great what a lesson can make you realize. I mean, I think I just need to practice differently. I need to micro-analyse a little bit and work on the small bits so that the big picture is a little more ship-shape (referring to the last movement of Britten). And other things I just need to make decisions and apply things I know and basically not be a lazy tool (Bach). I mean, it’ll be great. And I knew I had to do more work. Really, I had no idea what I should have been doing until having a lesson, anyway.

So anyway. Directedly after my lesson was studio. Which is where things became awesomely fun. I pretty lost my ability to play the Canto Terzo for memory, which was funny but not too big a worry to me since I had never played it for anybody memorized (or at all) anyway. And the last movement was tense, but then I think I can at least improve it somewhat in the next few weeks. Also? If you want to make a point, just tell me what the hell it is you want to tell me and not waste five minutes of my time getting there, if you please.

So yes. Blah, hiss. What with all of this grumpiness and lots of work to be done tomorrow, I should really sleep. Horaay.

I Hate It

listening to: number girl – toumei shoujo

random amusing quotes: “I hate it!”

“Yes! I love it!”

La-lala! This weather sucks!

Also, when I am a teacher of students and am understood by everyone as being full of snark, when I don’t like something I hear I plan to go “I hate it!” As opposed to “I don’t agree,” or “hmmm,” or “good.”

Whoa. Radar indicates thunderstorm headed this way. I should head back to the music building so I don’t have to be caught in it. Woohoo!