And This Year’s Last Entry Is…

Hah! Get it? IS??

You have to ingest to divest on the quest for less.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I love Stuart Davis. If anything, just read the last paragaraph (and then ask yourself why ANYONE would be insane enough to have their own ribs surgically removed in order to obtain a more hour-glass figure? I think I just answered my own question. Warning: ribs do not grow back!)

Oh man…butt-jutts…I think have to sit down. Except…I am sitting down.

I have to stand up and then go practice. Ooh.

On an unrelated note. Wow. People are…really ass-holes to each other.

Run! Head For The Hills! Head For Azerbaijan!

listening to: the octopus project – the adjustor

The past year has been…uh…it’s been something, alright. And since it is almost the new year, I think a long, reminiscent and self-analyzing post that nobody but myself will read is in order. Here you go.

This year…

I got a new cello. 3 weeks old exactly when it was shipped to us, so I was probably the first one to seriously try it. And then I came to realize that I had somehow stumbled onto the finest piece of lumber to exist for under $50,000, ever, and felt very lucky to have found this instrument. I let go of the old one without even batting an eye. We’d been together for eleven years. Wasn’t that enough? Sometimes I do stop and think “aaw. I played so much crap with that cello. I went to Mexico with that cello. I played my college auditions with that…cello…and…wait, all my college auditions were JOKES! Nevermind. BYE, cello. Have a nice life in the Southwest. Hope they fix your bridge. BYEEE.”

I somehow managed to end up as principal cello. That still makes me go “what the hell” when I think about it. But it was good, and it signals how much I have improved as a player in the last year. Looking back, I realize that before this last year or so, I really had no idea what I was doing in terms of playing the cello or leading a section. Because…it’s different than it was in high school. When you have to make decisions for so many people, and when some of those people may be older than you or want you to be struck by lightning because not only would that get rid of you but be kind of exciting to watch. But I think I overcame that, by having some amazingly supportive teachers and colleagues (and tuba studios more than willing to beat people up). But also by getting over some of my serious social anxiety and just…getting in there and doing it. I feel like a reasonably (stress on the word “reasonably”) competent leader and decision-maker at this point, whereas earlier in the year I just wanted to hide from everyone. There are some parts of leading that will always be difficult. Being in a room with 10 others, basically telling them how to play and not feeling like I am completely full of crap, for instance, will always be difficult if not impossible. Jeezy Creezy.

Something else vaguely mentioned between the lines of the above, I learned how to identify the difference between an awkward social situation and a completely unacceptable one. That was tough for me. Especially because I have this tendancy to be terminally self-depricating and assume that everything bad happening is my fault. So when at some point I realized that I was not only feeling uncomfortable, but persecuted and harassed, the ONLY thing to do was stand up for myself and make something happen. And when I did that, part of me went “WHOA! You’re not all doubting yourself and stuff!!”

I stopped caring. About a lot that I took too seriously before. About people. About what people think about me. And whether or not my existence matters to other people. This somehow improved my own self image. Which somehow made it easier for me to co-exist with other people, and work with them in classes, and rehearse with them, etc. I think some of this new-found peace with myself might be from…I don’t know. Over-looking the things about other people that bother me. It’s true that I’m still pretty damn anti-social, but not to the point where it makes me uncomfortable in daily interactions with people at school. I also made friends with a lot of people. People who I genuinely really like. And I think that’s a cool thing.

I learned how to survive on something like four hours of sleep within 3 days. I discovered that, after having flown from Germany to Illinois, this is actually possible if it occurs before jet-lag has a chance to register. However, the after-effects of no-sleep-following-travel include tendancies of narcolepsy, inability to comprehend weird and unexpected situations, and a general over-eating of comfort food.

Speaking of jet-lag, I also traveled a little. To Northern Wisconsin and back, with a little bit of “getting lost in Madison” on the side. To Iowa City for a few days. To Germany. And to Upstate, NY.

In conclusion, I’m a better musician. I’ve grown something of a back-bone. I got over myself. I’m a little more sociable and non-caring than I have been. I don’t sleep like a normal person anymore. I traveled. Final words on 2005: Crazy but very good.

And now I feel boring. But I’m totally okay with that, especially because I just used one of my Christmas gift-certificates to pick up the MST3k Collection Volume 5 for effing 65% off at Amazon. Already next year is looking good.

This Is What Happens When You Mention Yaoi Once

This may in fact be the best search referall ever. I mean, it is to me, anyway. Webcam yaoi?? Come on.

Will stop blogging now before become too unintelligible. Mlrah. Hate the Eastern Standard timezone.


Holy Shit! I love the Dooce (and her fiendish dog). Now I have to buy the January issue of Glamour. Dammit.



Haha, I wasn’t really paying any attention to the “-“, mostly because I only saw the URL from which the person came that included the search, and not the actual google results page. Man, I’m smart.


In Which A Number Of Words Appear In Italics…

Don’t you love cars? Don’t you? Don’t you just love them? When they die out in the middle of rural Indiana, though you are lucky enough that the car starts to die only a mile outside of a relatively small town in rural Indiana, this particular town having its very own circus, and thus there being clowns?? Everywhere??? (I am not kidding!)


Uh huh. So we’re home a day late because the alternater in our vehicle died out. I know I complain that this place that we stayed in Indiana was over-run with clowns. But I really shouldn’t be bitching. There were something like 3 Ford dealers in this town. And if we’d been driving something like the Saab, we REALLY would have been screwed, because nobody would actually be able to service that damn thing in all of its foreign-part unfriendliness. But anyway. We stayed overnight in the only hotel in the town. Which might have sucked, if they hadn’t gotten the Food Network (note: I have heard people bitch about Iron Chef America, but I had not seen it until last night and are you KIDDING me?? Alton Brown commentating? Ted Allen on the judges panel? Too awesome. Um…yes. Yes I do have a moderate to severe closet obsession with Iron Chef. I tend to not mention it here, ever. Thus making it a closet obsession. Right).

After waiting around for the car to be repaired this morning, we finally managed to be back on the road, around noon, perhaps. During our wait, my Dad recounted other (and much, much worse) car incidents of the past. Such as when he had an audition to play in Köln and his car died. And he had to haul a contra bassoon (those things are really quite heavy. really) very many blocks. Or that time where he and my mom bought a car from Ali the Arab in Oklahoma and ended up at one point only able to drive 15 mph through the desert. Or coast down a hill in neutral at 70mph. All of this was stuff that happened before I was born.

And…okay. It always startles me to stumble across a MST3k reference in real life for the first time…and so today we drove past a Pamida! What the hell.

I feel so gross and unintelligible and unfortunate to have decided to blog at this particular moment in time. Don’t be my friend.

Um What?

The internet connection here hates me.

It’s not that I’ve been too occupied to blog. Or even too distracted. It’s that this stupid dial-up connection disconnects me every time I spend more than about five minutes attempting to do something like check my email. And then I find myself peeved. And then I walk away from the computer taking deep breaths.

It’s like that “too frustrated to even blog” thing all over again. Except…I don’t even get that far.

But now I am blogging. Huzzah! Hopefully I won’t be randomly disconnected before clicking publish.

Yeah. I think we’re driving back to Illinois tomorrow. And…don’t get me wrong, that’s sad and stuff but…

*so bored*

I think it’s just hard to go from such an actively crazy semester wherein I’m running around C-U to…sitting. In a house. On a hill in the middle of nowhere. With weather that is a little too crappy for frolicksome things like cross-country skiing and snow-shoeing to occur.

For me, it’s always hard to go from LOTS OF TRAVELING AND MOTION to non-moving and inactivity.

Also, maybe this is just me. Being biased because I am only seeing things from my own POV. But it feels like when seven or more members of my family are hanging around, including my pretty-cool older sister, I am basically ignored by everyone. And so I just stay shut up. Because if I even try to draw attention to myself or even unexpectantly join into a conversation, I feel like I am being annoying and selfish. I know part of this is in my head, but part of it is the actual fact that people are interested in what my sister is doing in Germany, and the experiences she is having. While I am simply a college student going to school in the flat of the flat.

You know, it’s hard feeling like I have to live up to my sister’s legacy of awesomeness. I mean…nobody’s going to kick me out of the family if I don’t end up playing in an orchestra in Germany. And…I think I’m doing pretty awesome for myself even in this school of the flattest of the flat. Really. So…bite me!

Thus ends the weird younger-sibling rant. I’m sorry for you if you chose to read that.

I’ve been having some pretty unfriendly dreams in the past few nights. Dreams about procrastinating deadlines for things and then being (almost screwed). Dreams about psychological disorders on two legs continuously stressing me out. Dreams about my apartment magically ending up on Burlington St. in Iowa City. Basically, I’ve been dreaming about the the last three weeks of the past semester (except for the bit about Iowa City. That’s just typical dream-nonsense). I would appreciate for this to STOP, sub-conscious. STOPPIT.


Entry of sporadic and totally unrelated remarks…GO!

Yes. Oh yes. I love food. I have been loving food today since about 3pm this afternoon. But I think I’m done. With the food. For a while.

Currently I’m bored and very full. But I’m reading a lot. Which I never have the brain to do during school. So ROCK on.

Oooh, Renee Fleming is on the telly. She went to school with my aunt at Potsdam.

I practiced for like 2.5 hours today, which is amazing, as I am on vacation and normally I just wouldn’t care. Maybe I’m somehow trying to make up for the fact that I generally did not practice enough during the semester? Yes. I’ll go with that.

Aaah, I have nothing else to say. Except…

Rachel and Michelle: I suck and I will call you both at the soonest opportunity.

Xmas Is Liked Very Much


Today Erica and I were talking about the weirdness that is our house, and our conclusion is that my weird encounter + her weird encounter + the two of us being seriously neurotic = OUR HOUSE WAS HAUNTED BY THE AUNT OF STEVEN AMBROSE.

Seriously. Her cane is in our basement. She died in that house. When I was in elementary school, I always took my friends down into the cellar (or the “celery” I guess…) to show them the cane of the “crazy old lady” who had lived in our house before us.

In other things, yeeeeee!

Oh wait. Not “yeeeee”

I ate a lot tonight. Dear god. My uncle Dan’s cooking. And more sitting on the furnace. I LIKE IT VERY MUCH.

Bitching Noise-Hole Entry

I’m hearing from the other room that Tony Blair’s wife is the great grand-daughter of John Wilkes Booth. What the hell.

Yes. We’re here, somewhere on a hill within a relative distance from Remsen, NY. And…argh.

The slight difficulty with my parents (and now sister) having lived in Europe at some point during their lives is…how much “better” Europe is than the U.S. Okay. I admit that food in Europe is great. History is unbelievable. And true, I haven’t lived there, or even visited more than twice in my life. I am also aware that things here suck more than they have. Especially right now, yes. I know the government is corrupt as all hell. I know we’re experiencing a slump in every possible political/economic/whatever direction. But…last time I checked, there are still some relatively okay things to be had here, right??

I mean…in addition to there actually being a few benefits to living in and existing as a citizen of the United States, American is fascinating! It’s such a weird melded pot of different cultures and nationalities, and I know that these national groups may “lose their cultural identity” as they stay here throughout the decades…but I think the way they make do and get along is COOL. And maybe INTERESTING. I am also mildly obsessed with American history, in a small way that I don’t think I mention often or at all. And…

Argh. I’m going to shut the bitching noise-hole right here. Please understand that I’ve been listening to this “Europe is so great” stuff for the past two days, and it didn’t stop when we finally got to talk for eons with our relatives, either.

Other than that, all is well. We made it here in one piece. Canada scores points with me in some places, but loses points in other places. Places such as the driving. Jeezy Creezy.

The connection here is impossibly slow dial-up (which is tragic, as the machine itself is a new iMac), so I can’t promise frequent entries.


I’ve Been There And I Know The Way

Right. Leaving for New York around 9am. Should be in bed, but you know. Sleep, bah.

Apparently we’re breaking tradition and driving through London, Ontario instead of Cleveland. I’d be sad but…I’m totally not, if we can avoid a few hours of hell in the form of a lake-effect snow-storm. Yeah. Maybe this will improve the drive. Going through rural Indiana/Ohio depresses the hell out of me, anyway. Just because it’s so…I don’t know. Weirdly and sadly rural. It’s probably just my imagination that’s made me associate that area with bleak, industrial, poverse, and completely depressing parts of the United States. And the fact that it’s just this monochrome during winter. Or maybe the fact that I was starting to read American Gods the last time we drove through that area, and that’s just what that book does to me. So anyway. My expectations for Canada are sort of high. Canada, don’t disappoint me.

Because this is one of those times where I have crap to do but am avoiding it in every possible way, I filled out the 2005 in Review meme. Yeah, I know. But that’s procrastination for you. It kind of makes me a little irritated with myself that my livejournal only exists for stupid memes. Better there than here, I suppose.

Hey, come on. Go to bed, self.

Beware Of Cute Child

Aaaaahahahahaha, my sides hurt. Here’s why.

The whole family is around, and this actually provoked my mother to cook something fo the first time in a while (hey, shaddup. my mom’s busy). Veal liver and baked potatoes, yummy yummy (*edit* please imagine I am Dana Carvey right here). I think liver is an acquired taste, for me. But that’s okay. Happy to partake of something new with a…weirdly metallic after-taste.

But anyway. Somehow just the fact that we were eating liver made my mother think of something I said when I was around 2 1/2 years of age:

“I don’t want to eat this because it has nutrition”

I…want to be 2 again.

But right as we were finishing, I thought I’d go ahead and ask if I said anything else entertaining when I was a little twirp. My mother left the dining-room table and came back 30 seconds later with a notebook. Here are the highlights of the page she read off to us:

“I like to watch Superman – he makes me feel healthy”

Of a girl named Allison who was one of our neighbors: “Allison Wonderland. She lives across the street”

“Go down in the celery” (as my mom was going into the CELLAR)

My name for Chip and Dale: Chip ‘an Dip

Erica around 9 or so, talking of going to our Aunt Ann’s: “We’ll be there in no time”
Me, around 3: “We’ll be there in YES time!”

“What does Holy Toledo mean?”

“Could you roll up my leg sleeves, please?”

“I didn’t come here to be readened” (read to)

My mom: “are you asleep?”
Me: “No, I was just taking a long blink”

My favorite is definitely the “leg sleeves” one.

Perhaps you need an image to complete your laugh? I’ve flaunted this picture before, but go here. Lederhosen Talia. Baaahaha, not really.

Hilarity Ensues

listening to: stereolab – orgiastic

I think I would pay $7,000 to see this happen somewhere on my campus.

New cello-case ordered. It will not be in until March, 2006. But that’s okay. It will all be worth it for the new bi-component handle. What? I don’t know. That means it had better not break and leave me to replace it with a leather handle that rubs the palms of my hands raw. Damn you, cello-case. But only 5 latches! Not 9! 5! Yes! New case!

Sister still not home, and somehow the household hilarity has already bumped up several notches. Oh, Christmas. Oh, crazy family.

I Shouldn’t Blog When I Have Nothing To Say

listening to: stereolab – mudra

My sister’s train into Normal was delayed because a piece of farm-equipment was stuck in the tracks directly outside of town. Aaaah, Central Illinois.

That’s right. My sister is back from Germany for a bit. Which…well, yes. We just saw her when we were in Germany ourselves. And I have a sort of non-sibling type of relationship with my sister, so I have a feeling I care less than I should. We’re just two beings who live in different countries and share similar bone-structure, and occasionally gank each other’s crap. This is what happens when your older sibling leaves for college before you even turn twelve.

But regardless, it will at least be more entertaining with her around. And together, our family will partake of the annual Christmas tradition of driving through hellish lake-effect snow to get to Upstate, NY. Yessss.

Other than that, I’m fairly bored. I should go practice.

I saw King Kong last night. Which I highly enjoyed (though almost lost it during one part with overly large and creepy insects). And…maybe this is just me, but Naomi Watts has some definite moments of looking like Tori Amos. No, it’s not just me.


Good lesson. Very very good lesson.

This is something I need to own up to a little more often, for my own self-depricating sanity: I rock. I really do. I still have problems, yes, but my playing. It is good. I sound nice.

Interestingly enough, the biggest problem I have in my playing is completely in my neck (and also in my shifting), and the fact that I am tense there but don’t realize it until somebody points out that I’m tense and I need to relax (ie, every single lesson for the last year). And when I’m relaxed, everything is about 80% less difficult to do. If I can loosen up my neck, then I can relax and approach my playing from more of an observational/listening viewpoint instead of an “I am playing this right here right now and it is TIRING” viewpoint. And stuff. That doesn’t sound very sensical, does it. Hmm.

That’s a big thing for me. Listening to my playing while I am at the cello instead of just playing. Brandon told me that I actually have solid technique, and that if I can overcome my tension barriers, all that will be left for me to work on is the more musical aspects of my playing. Hearing that is…like…CHRISTMAS! It’s like CHRISTMAS! XMAS!!!

Let’s have a Patrick Swayze Christmas…

I mean — Stereolab bootlegs are back up at Koly!! Yes!! Thank you!! I have been listening to their 3-disc collection a lot lately and…what I really want for Christmas is a moog synth.

Hey! Livejournal gave out 3 more free-user icons for Christmas. Mine are…ahahaha, very uh…fangirly. Well, what’d you expect.

On a different note, ATOM feed for the blog has been fixed. RSS to your heart’s content.

< /most OCD entry ever>

P.S. I just made one of these for Erica (my older sister has an obsession with R2D2, and was Jewish in a former life/decade. I feel this is an appropriate thing to do). I should get some sort of “best little sister” award…

I Must Be Doing Something Right

listening to: stereolab – orgiastic

Yes! Cello lesson tomorrow. I am so not ready, but I’ve been needing one of these very badly for a very long time. Boo, inconvenient timing of really ridiculous events in the lives of myself and others. And the Pacifica touring so much.

Yeah. Life is pretty boring when I’m not completely consumed by the insanity that is school. In a good way. In the sort of way where I sit around watching Firefly for most of the day, and see people.

Sometimes I need a break from cello. Well, not the cello itself. Rather, the mentality of other people who take music and cello and everything in-between so seriously. I was talking to Marco and Amanda a couple of weeks back, and we were talking about how frustrating it can be to be around hard-cores all the time. I mean, I take the work I do very seriously. Don’t get that wrong about me. Otherwise I would not have come so unbelievably far as a player in the last 2 years. But there is more to life than the cello. More to life than the “rights” and “wrongs” and “propers” of playing and repertoire. I like to think there is no one right way of cello playing or music-making, and it scares me to see how opinionated and certain of the one right way some people can be. My main goal is to sound good and do something musical that makes sense, even if my way is not the specific way of the Principle Cello of the Whatever Symphony.

And the fact that some people I am around can never give music a rest drives me…wacko. My problem is I like too much. I like to be entertained. I like books and computers. I like color and loud noise in the form of non-classical music. I like things that have nothing to do with music, and in a way I think it’s healthier for me to submerse myself in those other things when I’m not in a practice-room.

I love all of my colleagues and studio-mates, but sometimes being around them for too long scares me. Mostly, it makes me question my attitude. Am I not serious enough? Should I be practicing myself ragged every day? And the answer to these things is NO. But I can’t always recognize this. And so I become uptight, anxious, and actually unproductive. My way of practicing (no more than 3 hours of solo work a day) and approaching the cello really has gotten me far, and for over 15 years now. I must be doing something right.

*edit* Sometimes I see the typing/grammar/word-order errors I make in my entries and I feel that I should have my head examined.

Turkish Delight For The Little Prince…

I finally saw Chronicles of Narnia last night and…

Please do not read the following if you don’t want spoilers (spoilers, says I)!

Okay. I must, before I say anything else, note that I have read all the books from a very young age, and that I also lived off of the BBC version of all the Chronicles of Narnia from whenever it was they came out. I know that the BBC version is far from perfect and preceeds the days of super special-effects and cgs, but to this day I love and watch it.

And having said that, I can now go on to say that the movie was AWESOME.

I loved the Pevensie kids. I don’t mean to be continuously make comparisons between the movie and the mini-series, but my credit to the movie is that they made the kids into the ages they should have been. I always was a little curious as to how the kids in the mini-series ended up all being like…within four years of each other. My particular favorite was Lucy. I’ve always identified with the younger-sister characters in stories because I happen to be one. And I simply could not get over the Lucy-ness of her (and also the fact that she is weapons-grade cut…). Edmund and Lucy pretty much tied as my favorites, actually. I liked how the kids were personified more as siblings, although sometimes I think some of the “family lessons” within the kids were a little…omni-present. “You’re a family, start acting like one!” and all of the lines about Susan being “smart” or Susan’s general disgruntlement about…life. But you know. It’s a movie aimed towards kids. You can’t have it all.

I also really liked the White Witch, though I did have some issues with the shards of ice sticking out of her head. And her wardrobe (“Hi! I’m Bob BOX-BODY”). From the moment where she and Edmund had their meeting in the woods, I knew I liked her. She seemed almost sincerely sweet, until he asks for more Turkish Delight, where her true non-human insanity edges out for moment. Hee.

Aslan was Liam Neeson good. Everything was good.

Oh yes! And I especially liked Mr. Tumnus. Honest. Just timid enough. And…EVERY TIME he and Lucy together after their first meeting (or when Susan hugged him in the White Witche’s court-yard), my brain went all MST3k on me, mostly with a falsetto Servo voice going “I never want this day to end!” This is why nobody needs to know what it’s like being me. Ever.

I don’t really have any full-fledged complaints (except for how the music kind of sucked). I did feel the whole movie was a little too…BATTLE ACTION NARNIA at times. I realize that this is what happens, when a book becomes a box-office gem. Movie-goers like suspense and storyline-motion. And cramming a full book into 2 hours of movie would have to make everything move faster in the first place. If it had been done otherwise, the movie might have been weirdly paced or even BORING at times.

Alright. Here is some linkspam, basically all of it stolen from Cleolinda:

Entertaining interview with all four kids. What’s that you say? Women’s underwear makes Skandar Keyes uncomfortable? SWEET!

It is revealed that Tilda Swinton (Witch) and Skandar Keynes (Edmund) are AWESOME.

Dear Philip, Pullman, I love your books. BUT SHUT UP!

I’ll be nice and leave it at that.

Have a nice day. Muaahahahahaa– I mean… *cough*

My Poor Cello Aaaaaaaaaah!

listening to: sound of music from across the hall

Gah! Sound of Music will never leave me alooone *has 16 going on 17 in head eternally*

Sweet! Apparently if I need ass-kicking assistance, the entire tuba-studio is willing to go out and…well…kick ass! This is just one more reason that you should not mess with me. Ever. Also, dear U of I faculty members: you rock.

Today I was less than happy to discover a freaking CRACK IN MY CELLO. What is this crap?? I have been excessively careful about making sure my cello’s dampit has been, you know. Damp. But I guess that’s not enough. Sigh. It’s not even a year old, either. That’s especially discouraging. Perhaps there’s some other method of humidification I can rely on. This means that a definite trip to Chicago will be necessary at some point, for that repair and the weird varnish-scrape that comes from the cello being too big for the case. Which reminds me…

…to mention that I am getting a new case…

Yes. Good. Excellent. These new cases are apparently only 11 lbs. Which is something like 7 lbs lighter than my current case. Which will be good for…non-pain of the lower-back sort. Although I have to admit I hope that Brandon doesn’t think it’s weird that I’ll have a case identical to his. *is not stalking/copying own teacher. seriously*

Whoa! Michelle just called me. FROLICKING!

Oh but wait…

Dear Joey Hagedorn,

Thank you for the link. I have been shaking my fist at Google on at least a monthly basis for not having a version of GoogleEarth out for OS X. I can now move on to shaking my fist at something else.

P.S. I hope this isn’t totally stalky of me, but I noticed that you linked to my blog through yours a couple of days back (and thus found your blog). I was very pleased to see that you enjoy reading of my adventures in awkwardness! Horaay, blogging! I also managed to lose track of the url to your blog when I left school. It would be cool if you might send that url my way again, in some form (AIM, comment, whatever).

Wow, I feel stalky…but the stat-tracker made me do it!!

Okay. And now, FROLICKING!

Birthday Wishes To JaMeg

Dear Jamie and Megan:

Today is your birthday! Huzzah! And you can make no mistake that I would be wishing you a happy birthday in this entry dedicated entirely to you. But I’m not. And you know why?


Heh, I’m totally kidding!


P.S. I miss you guys like whoa.

Crap. I Left Half My Brain In Urbana.

Sooo….it turns out I actually didn’t need to be home tonight. Because my mom misread my “I’ve played Sounds of Xmas every year!” as “NO MORE PLEASE GOD” instead of “I can’t NOT do it this year!” and told them I couldn’t do it. Sigh. I mean…it’s true. I only play Sounds of Xmas so I can see people. And truthfully, this last two weeks have left me a little bit people’d out, know wha’a mean. So this might be a good thing.

And…whatever. I’m just driving back to C-U on Tuesday for a lesson.

Okay, can we talk about this exam thing? Yeah. The 313 History of Music one that I took about four hours ago? NOT COOL. And I’m not just saying “not cool” as if I didn’t study or anything. Because I definitely studied. It was more like THE MULTIPLE CHOICE LAYOUT IS THE EMBODIMENT OF SATAN HI’SELF. Okay. So…imagine you have a “which of the following statements are true?” question. This is followed by the answer possibilities, which go something like:

a. insert statement here
b. insert another statement here
c. yet another statement goes here
d. last statement, but more fun to follow
e. a and b
f. a, b and c
g. a, b, c and d
h. a, b, c, and d is partially true (Talia’s note: WHAT!)
i. none of the above

I mean, I understand torturing us with ten different possibilities for for one answer, but what the hell does “partially true” mean?? I just…–adda–wibba–WHY DO YOU HATE US? (note to self: stop typing “have” instead of “hate” all the time)

Well. It’s done and over. I no longer have to worry or whine about it. In the meantime, I feel as though I am about to pass out. Perhaps I should go to bed.

Tomorrow will be practicing, getting business-type things done, contacting people who have been contacting me, not spending the whole day with Leroy Anderson, maybe some stalking Michelle. Oh yes oh yes.

Damn You, Mrs. Kennedy

listening to: pizzicato five – my baby portable player sound

Must…Not…Read…Fussy archives! Must study! Studying…HUZZAH!

Well, just one thing: Aha! Ahahaha!

That is all.

Signed, she who is too easily amused and should really be cramming facts of monody and ouvertures into her head

P.S., Damn you, Mrs. Kennedy.

Who Wandered Off From Home, And Ate The Map

listening to: stuart davis – anaesthesia necrophelia

Hmm. I may be a little bit screwed for my history exam this evening. But I dug my hole. All that’s left is to lie in it.

We’ll see. I’ve managed to pull a few completely unbelievable grades out of my ass so far this semester.

I apologize for the previoius post. Sometimes I just need to rage, and there is nobody around to listen to me rage. And so then I blog my rage. And I don’t even explain it.

Also, yaay, m*dot!

In The Words Of Kerry, Boohoo For You

listening to: number girl- toumei shoujo

Booy, am I ever avoiding studying.

Tonight I finally experienced the two-player mode of Katamari Damacy and…whoa. Seriously. Whoa. Because…well, the versus mode. That’s nothing. Pretty much just like the in the first game. But you can actually go and play all of the levels with two players. And the absurd thing is that you BOTH CONTROL THE SAME KATAMARI. So one of you has the left analogue stick, and the other has the right one. And together you must act as one and roll crap up. And…that’s really hard. Together, Ben and I lost. EVERY time.

This was followed by playing with Google Earth on Kyra’s computer (which…sadly, is not available for Mac, dammit).

So you know how when you have a digital camera and you are a narcissistic twat like I am, you take random photos of yourself, whenever the urge strikes? I took one the other night that made me realize that I have some SERIOUS DAD-NOSE going on. You are surprised at my shock? I don’t look much like the rest of my family (here is the proof). Yes, that’s right. I’m BLONDE. And PALE. And kind of ARYAN. So I’ve basically spent the last ten years convincing myself that I don’t look like any of my family and that this is okay. So to see that I definitely have my Dad’s nose is a little freaky. I uploaded the photo for the occasion. Go ahead. Gawk at my oblong Dad-nose.

In other things I would like to scream and beat certain people upside the head with: FA-HUCK YOU. Just because I am NOT EAGER TO RANDOMLY FIND A SIGNIFICANT OTHER AND MAKE PLANS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE does not mean that you CAN’T BE MY FRIEND?? I’m worth THAT LITTLE?? That I am the key ingredient in a “safety” relationship but I’m not a good enough person that I can’t be your pal if I maybe don’t want to BE in that last-resort relationship??? Thanks! A whole bunch! It’s cool to know I have real worth as a person. And also, you see, this friendship thing is kind of important to me. Being friends with a person before entering into a relationship with them ensures that I WILL BE LESS LIKELY TO RANDOMLY BLUDGEON THAT PERSON TO DEATH IF I FIND THEM ANNOYING AS ALL HELL LATER ON. I don’t make this shit up. Be my friend before you date me. Or you might die.

< /completely spastic and aggressive "what the hell" session, the sort of which would normally never end up here in the first place>


Alternative Studying Tactics

listening to: cornelius – the fight

My away message indicates that I’m currently being productive. Lies. All lies.

Two hours going between tidying the pad and cramming facts about Baroque music into my head, and I’m in for a break. Because who cares that the major shift in 17th century vocal music towards one primary voice with other voices as accompaniment was brought about by a focus on Greek drama and the idea that the text should be the main focus, with less attention to fully polyphonic voices?? WHO CARES?? CERTAINLY NOT ME.

(See? Blogger can also be an efficient study aid, in addition to being a fairly giant waste of my time. BLOGGER!)

When not studying or tidying or dropping people off at the airport, I have been reading Fussy archives. Oh, Mrs. Kennedy.

In completely unrelated things, I have decided that I want to go to the Mancini Institute next summer. Hmm. Probably not going to happen. But I can dream, right?

Public Statement

listening to: r.e.m. – turn you inside out

Notice to all readers: anybody, I repeat, ANYBODY is allowed to correct my inane typos and spelling mistakes through comments. Especially if you do it in a manner a la Kerry. Because…ahahaha, that was my kick for the morning.

Neighbors, I Apologize For My Loudness

listening to: shiina ringo – ringo no uta

Oh god. Rachel just called me. And I think I laughed so hard I may in fact need to go puke my guts out. Oh man.

“Isn’t that beef…?”

Also, Firefly. It rocks. Just…*death*

I need to start working it for my history final on Friday. I know I said I was “recharging” the last couple of days, but when it comes down to it, I’m just a lazy tool. Not to mention, apathetic.

P.S. My status of awkwardness has been upgraded: I am THE pillar of awkwardness.