Learning Everyday, He Will Have To Dominate

listening to: mission of burma – progress

Oh my GOD, I helped kill Figli Migli’s bandwidth. Then again, so did Rocketboom. Mweh.

I just read this newspaper article about the unhealthy amount of lead which is actually present in CHOCOLATE. They suspect it is mostly from the transportation process and shipment of cocoa beans to factories, but that nonetheless, it is probably less than safe for people (children especially). I am tempted to completely blank that piece of information out of my mind starting…nnn-now!

You know, one of the most difficult things about having to lead a section is giving out directions for a certain way to play. It’s hard for me to think of implementing my cello playing onto other people who play differently. When it comes to just me, I feel quite comfortable with the way I handle things technically, and that what I’m doing works (for the most part, anyway) and is stylistically appropriate. But it’s another thing to force your own ways onto other people. It really goes beyond how different every person’s playing is. It’s more into the realms of how open other people are to new ways of playing or thinking, even if they don’t necessarily agree with these new ways. It kind of goes to show that this ideal of mine wherein the cello section is a democratic group is not an ideal that works well in real life. It’s just like that one Stereolab song says. I need to dominate. Except…that it’s *reads lyrics*…not really like the song says at all. Okay, maybe just the one line.

Hmm. I’m at home. Should I bring ElfQuest back to school with me? Will I ever read it? If I do read it, will I ever read all the other books I own that I need to read still? Survey says: do not take EQ back to school.

5k!!

listening to: kahimi karie – elastic girl

I hate the person who put idiotic fingerings over every note in the crazy passages of my Nielsen part. … I hate Nielsen, too.

Oh!! I remember what I wanted to blog like 8 times between last night and tonight but kept forgetting. Next Saturday I’m running a 5k!! And…the following Sunday, I’m running another 5k!! Horaay! Yeah. I’ve run one before, when I was, oh, 15. But that was before I really starting running, so it will be cool to see how I’ve improved. I mean, my regular runs are usually about that long, so…yes. Admittedly, though, I probably only ended up entering into an official thing because someone else suggested it first, and is running it with me. I’m simply too lazy to get off my ass and start new things on my own, on general principal. But…5k!! Am v. excited. This is the sort of thing I think I need. Because life tends to be either very stressful or moderately boring, so far this semester.

Oh my– I just realized that I haven’t checked Rocketboom since Monday! What the hell kind of a vlogging groupie am I??

*edit* I just had the __BEST__ idea for a Halloween costume, ever. Wahahaha!

Not Skipping The Country

listening to: enon – motocross

Yaaaay! My renewed passport came in the mail! Yaaaay! I’m officially outta here going to Germany next month! Hah, silly me. I would never really skip the country (as in, leave it for good). OR WOULD I??

It turns out the Pacifica is touring in Bavaria and near Münster in the next couple weeks. I’m going to force my sister to go see them. I mean, if possible.

Um…

Craptacular, I can’t remember what I had actually wanted to blog about. So…um…bye.

Brain-Power: 0

listening to: the real tuesday weld – brazil

Oh my god. This song. Somebody needs to de-obsess me from this crap.

So, I took my music history exam, which–what the hell! What happened, cool professor I had for the second semester of the class last year (order doesn’t matter with these two, apparently)?! Your tests suck ass now! I got an A in your last class, so I guess that’s some consulation for how badly I might do in this one. In case I hadn’t mentioned this, on our first test in September, out of 100 students only 13 managed A’s or B’s. To me, this says something. Something like “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?”

I would elaborate more on the hellfire of this test, such as how there were up to TEN ANSWER CHOICES for some of these multiple choice questions, with an “if you miss one, you miss them all,” way of grading. But that’s okay. You’re probably quite bored at this point.

My computer crashed. Oh so randomly. I came back from orchestra, found it was completely OFF for some reason (I usually leave it in sleep mode), and when I turned it back on, all I got was a blue screen of…death! A BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH! ON A MAC! Cruel cruel world. Fortunately it’s as simple as reinstalling the software. I think the power must have flickered or gone out, since my microwave clock was blinking. It just doesn’t make sense that a power outage would so badly scramble the ways of the magical OS of…uh…Mac. Anyway…

I also figured out the mystery of my magical non-working credit card, which had to do with the $180 charge I made for my HISTORY TEXTBOOKS that I completely forgot about (among other textbooks I picked up late), and the fact that there is a $500 limit on my card and this was never really mentioned to me. I mean, it’s no big deal. I was just really confused because…I am cheap. I use my credit card for food and gas, and that’s about it. There’s no way that a regular month of my obtaining food and gas would go over $500. Ever. I mean, a regular month that does’nt involve absurd text-book charges. Damn you, Music History!!

Man. I am out of brain-power.

Something Important I Forgot

listening to: nirvana – something in the way

Oh! Man! I knew I forgot to link to something yesterday: Watch Me Change. From the Gap. Wherein you make an avatar for yourself (or…not yourself), who proceeds to dance and strip down to their underwear. I am possibly way too entertained by this. (via kottke)

Speaking of Kottke, that comment thread under the “Jason Kottke grows a mustache” picture is too too good. Man, I needed that laugh.

I get this feeling I’ll need another laugh after today. I think 313 is going to eat my brains. The stupid Neilson which I haven’t had the time or patience to work through for orchestra might do the same.

Frowl.

Conducting seminar, here I come.

Start Your Stereos…The Listening Party Begins Now

listening to: buffalo daugher – li303ve

Wow. Studio class was good. I played first. And it was easy. I mean, usually getting up in front of my peers and playing a piece that is difficult to put together is not easy. That sort of thing makes you nervous. And hyper-sensitive to things you never realized you were before. But not this time. I had decided fifteen minutes earlier while running through Rococo with piano that I actually did have it memorized. So I got up, started playing, actually played well, enjoyed myself, and it was done.

And that, my friends, is how performance should always be.

I actually never had very bad performance anxiety until starting under-grad. Wait, scratch that. Until joining Chicago Youth Symphony. Before that, performing was as is above-described. A breeze. I think what happened was that before that point, I thought I knew what I was doing. But then I experienced something to make me realize that I might actually be full of crap, and not good. And since then I’ve been an anxious little twit about performance. Especially before my recital last year. I would like for that to never happen again.

So yes.

I am screwed for 313. I’m not even studying. I’m apathetic. And that’s exactly why I’m screwed.

No, no. I can do this. The listening party begins now.

Prepared. And Distracted.

listening to: yann tiersen – monochrome

Jason Kottke… Stop. Please. Now. Haha, and more than anything, I love his response in the comment-stream.

Studio class tonight. I am prepared to not play my best.

I ran into Brandon (C, not favorite-teacher-who-deals-with-my-crazies) in the hall yesterday. I may have mentioned that he was also sitting by the crazy guy at the concert last Friday. And he asked me how I enjoyed sitting right in front of “homeless guy.” I guess he was homeless? He also said it must have been fun for me when the dude fell asleep with his forehead resting on the back of my chair. I responded with “um…yeah,” but was secretly somewhat alarmed as I had NO IDEA he had fallen asleep on the back of my chair! Yee… Amanda said she saw him, too, and that he was trying to start an argument about Chaos with his wife/female friend/whatever. I have no idea why I feel this is important enough to blog.

Nothing should be as important as studying for my 313 exam tomorrow, which I have done no work for yet, as the last few days have somehow been stupidly crazy. I should be doing that instead of blog.

Not Normal Or Healthy

listening to: ween – spinal meningitis

I think I might be stressed. I’m not sure, but the clue is definitely that I burst into tears during my lesson. Brandon has got to be the most wonderful teacher in the world, though, for talking to me and just sort of assuring me that life is okay.

I don’t even know what happened. I was fine for most of today. Busy, I suppose. For some reason I just couldn’t do what I wanted to with the cello. It almost felt like a managed to take a step backwards in terms of this whole “being able to play long lines” crap. I just couldn’t. And this was frustrating but bearable until the very end, where I just…started…crying. This is the first time I have ever done this.

But then it turned into a make-shift therapy/chat session. And it really helped.

When I first started really looking upset, he asked if I was getting enough sleep. And, wahaha, my first response was basically to blurt out “my apartment is COLD.” This is partially because I wasn’t sure what else to say and partially because it’s TRUE! So after the lesson I ended up walking to his house (which is like a block away from where I live) and he gave me a CRAZY QUILT! OH, my GOD! QUILT. I love my teacher.

I happen to love my teacher’s cute kid, as well. So cute! I also love his cat, who sat on my bag, and later flipped onto his back to “play” after two seconds of ear-scratching.

I called home and relayed my evening to my mother, who then told me it was ABOUT TIME I broke down crying in a lesson, and that she was beginning to think I was the freak of our family (note: my sister’s teacher apparently had a box of tissue labeled “Erica” in her office for my sister’s lessons). It’s a slightly frightening thought that I might be considered stable among the other people in my family.

I’m crazy and full of anxiety, really. A lot of anxiety. Several people have actually suggested counseling, and I am very much thinking about it. I just…can’t take being so stressed out over things at which normal people probably don’t bat an eye.

Yeah. I may have kind of forgotten to mention in full that I think everybody hates me and is judging me, 24/7, to a blood-pressure rising point. And I’m not sure that this is normal. Or healthy.

I guess I really am stressed. Stressed doesn’t necessarily mean unhappy after all, and I’m not exactly unhappy. I do have a lot of things on my plate, and this past weekend managed to test my patience and sanity in ways I am still sort of edgy about.

I am going to buy a thermometer at the soonest convenience. I want to know what the temperature of this place really is. It can’t be above 60. Not even close.

Talia, Go To BEEDDD…

listening to: ashley macisaac

Man. Why aren’t I asleep?

Okay, I’m blogging because I am in need of replying to stuff:

Erik: Your blog is definitely not one of those blogs. And…omg. Yes. Let’s commiserate about the cold *hides in blanket*

Kerry: You don’t suck!! I figured something just came up or…well, whatever! I practiced, so it was good.

Yes. That is all. Carry on.

You Know, I Am Glad For Search Referalls

listening to: dismemberment plan – following through

Well, what fun. That said, I am never volunteering my time to play ANYTHING again. Ever. This was the last straw. I just won’t. The foot has been put down.

I actually had to reason with myself to go play this recital by eating Nutella straight from the jar. Hmm.

I am reserving tonight for uh…stuff. I was hoping to study for 313, but instead I’m doing laundry and cleaning this place and practicing for a conducting midterm tomorrow with my second broken baton. Yes, that’s right. I bent other one. I am a magnet for misfortune I suppose.

You know, today was one of those days. Those days where it is most dangerous to be some sort of mechanical/electronic thing around me. Because I generally take out my rage on those little, crushable, smashable things. This is something I haven’t learned to control. The alarm on my watch kept going off for NO. APPARENT REASON. And I swear, I almost threw it onto the ground and jumped on it. I haven’t chucked my cell-phone across the room yet, though. Maybe I’m actually not as insane as I think I am.

No. No, definitely insane.

What the hell am I blabbering about? I don’t know. I’m going to go try and get things done, eeeee.

I’m No Better

listening to: tori amos- horses

Wow, there is so much I could be doing right now, but for the moment I can’t wander further than a foot away from my oil heater because I am freeeeezing, if I may say so.

I’m beginning to question my sense in resigning this apartment for next year. It is SO. COLD, and it doesn’t do a damn thing to turn up the baseboard heaters. The windows are so poorly insulated, it’s ridiculous. I mean, I still haven’t gotten around procuring any sort of weather-stripping/plastic to put over the windows. I’m hoping that will help, but I’m starting to wonder. I should obtain a thermometer to see exactly how cold it is.

I mean, how much of this is my responsibility and how much of it is the renting company’s? Why rent out an apartment if it’s unlivable for reasons like this? And WHY AM I PAYING SO GOD DAMN MUCH FOR RENT if that’s the case? Going to call them and ask if there’s not something they can do.

Maybe I’m just cranky. I haven’t been sleeping well and so much useful time has gone down the drain this weekend. I really hate having my time wasted, but I will say no more.

Frowl. I hate it when I whine. I’ll bet other people do, too. What especially gets me is how I occasionally read random people’s blogs full of crap-writing in order to better gratify my own writing (in my head). And this is one of those moments when I realize…I’m no better.

So I’m going to quit bitching and try and get things done. Thank you, internet.

One To Maybe Skip

listening to: the real tuesday weld – terminally ambivalent over you

Rrrg. It is late. And I can’t sleep. And I want to play with shiny widgets. But the minor catch is that I’m suddenly and randomly VERY BITTER FOR NO REASON AAAH.

I don’t know what it is. I never really elaborated as much as I really could have about the stuff driving me crazy from the summer. But sometimes it still randomly hits me upside the head and I sit around frowling and being bitchy and staying up late listening to weird (BUT AWESOME) stuff like the Real Tuesday Weld. This is one of those times.

I don’t know. I’m vaguely jealous of people doing things that I feel are out of my reach. For those of you who know Joshy-Josh, apparently the boy ended up changing his major at Berklee to become one of THREE MANDOLIN PERFORMANCE MAJORS. EVER. I love Josh. But you can probably imagine my vague level of jealousy *glares at mandolin sitting in case across the room* People are going for new things while I’m still doing the things I’ve always done.

But isn’t that stupid? I’m good at what I do, and I have these clear moments of enjoying it, too. I definitely still feel like I want to take my musical show on a different road from performing the same-old on the cello. But I need to finish what I’m doing here before I can do anything else. I need to keep learning and working and memorizing and performing and…there’s always time. Right? RIGHT?? AAAAIEEEH.

Also, I was talking to my mom earlier about jerks in the music world. And it made me sad. I know there are jerks in every field. And that music jerks are at least entertaining in a lot of ways. But…sometimes I just hate this zoo-house. Oh well. Not everyone is a jerk, fortunately.

Okay, I think I’m calm. The shiny-ness of the blogging widget helped.

Tomorrow (or rather, today) Kerry and I are going to Curtis Orchard for adventures in um…life!! Horaay!

Thursday I get to see Trina for the first time in perhaps…wait! Since Renata’s winter-party thing where we got to color in rather lewd Christmas Cards!

Man. I miss Renata. At least I have her blog! *clings to Renata’s blog*

That said, I will try sleep again

Kimoi Kimoi Kimoi

listening to: kabata saki – lonely rolling star

I have one word for: KIMOI.

I’d even go as far as saying SU–GGOKU KIMOI. Would you like it in Japanese as well? Because I can do that.

すーーっごくキモイ!!

Alright. We’re fine now.

Today has made me not care. About anything. Ever again. Seriously.

I don’t even care about blogging right now. I think I do care about sleep, though. And organizing my books. And maybe reading some of them, too.

Remember that disturbing video I linked to yesterday in Rocketboom? It turns out I am obsessed with that and others. I am ridiculous. Also, Cornelius definitely did a version of that song (Brazil) on the album Point. And that there are about 80 different versions of the song. I am OBSESSEEED (but quietly).

Oh, creepy. I tunes just switched to the music track of “bathtime in clerkenwell.” *creeped out*

No Springs!! Hee!

listening to: tori amos – horses

Oh man. Concert last night was awesooome! I love Beethoven Opus 132. The 3rd movement is the most heavenly piece of music I have ever experienced, and “heavenly” is by far the best word of description. And I got to hear the Emerson play it! So…David Finckel is [insert word that best describes awesomeness here]. He’s so controlled. And happy to be playing. And…just…good, really. I noticed that he rarely looked at his music. And the Mendelssohn Octet? *death* I had problems through the entire piece keeping control of myself, watching the Emerson playing across from the Pacifica. Watching my teacher next to David Finckel was by far the most difficult thing, because Brandon is so…Brandon. And full of crazy cello-playing dances. I actually did have to use all my efforts to supress laughter at the start of the last movement, which begins with this insane 16-note passage led in by cello II (Brandon’s part). The people around me must have thought I was an idiot.

And speaking of people around me and idiots, there was this guy sitting directly behind me (and right next to Brandon C, the poor guy), who was just…well…how do I best put this? AN ASS-HAT. I kind of sensed this guy’s idiocy when I heard him say quite loudly to his wife upon arriving at their seats “okay, you’re next to the guy with no hair.” Haah ha. If I had been the wife, I would have like…pulled out a blow-torch or something and gone crazy at him. Anyway. This guy proceeded to deliberately start an argument with his wife around intermission, about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. The dude was pretty much arguing with himself, in fact. He actually walked out five minutes before the concert re-started, saying “if you don’t want to talk about it, then I can’t sit next to you.” He came back right as the lights came down and proceeded to jibe comments such as “it’s not all about you, you know” at his wife. I swear, I didn’t hear her say ONE THING for all of the time that I was shamelessly listening to them. She just sat there, probably trying to avoid having random people sitting in front of them from having to overhear him. ASD;FLKJ!! And this, my friends, is why I have no life.

Nrrh. So, I came up with another of this “If I were a conducting student…” propositions, and this one is not to schedule a Brahms-inclusive recital during MID-TERMS. I am not the only one who is not practicing for this, and does not care. Honestly. It’s like…even when I do have the time (i.e. now), I can’t muster even the least bit of…well, caring, to go and practice my part. Right now all I really ought to do is practice for studio next Tuesday. Which…well, crap. I’m apathetic about that, too. I should care, because this is the first time I’m allowed to play in studio this semester, having been in technical-rehab until recently. But I know I can play the crap and I know the way I’m going to sound best is to not work myself up and figure out how to relax. Not go crazy and obsess and practice for hours and hours.

Thus, I am sitting here blogging. When I should be learning things and practicing others and…yes.

LEARNDING.

I really just don’t want to do anything, though. The only thing that appeals to me right now is sitting around organizing my books.

Really. No life.

Can’t Stop Watching Today’s Creepy Rocketboom!

listening to: sigur rós – fÿrsta

There is time for a brief entry. First I must share absurd link-age.

The second photograph? I think it might be my favorite thing in the universe.

And then…today’s Rocketboom disturbs me. A lot. But I can’t stop WATCHING it. I am never keeping birds or cuckoo clocks. Ever again. Also, it kind of tonally frustrates me that the bass over-dub part of this is like a quarter-tone higher in pitch than the original weird…thing. I suppose it adds to the…wrongness.

Crap. Crap. Crap. I slept through conducting. It seems I idiotically set my alarm to p.m. instead of a.m. AGAIN. It’s really no big deal, since my attendance record is about 90% better than 2/3 the class. But I always feel bad for leaving the class cello-less, since I’m one of about four people who consistently play. Oh well.

So I thought I’d blog instead, to prove how awesome I am. Jeezy Creezy.

It turns out there’s this new browser similar to Firefox that integrates a lot of Blogging/Social Networking into its use, called Flock. It’s in beta version and is still in need of a lot of testing, or so they say on the website. Which makes sense because after I downloaded it and entered by Blogger information, it crashed. Hmmm. Yeah. I’m using it to blog at this very moment. My only complaint so far is that I don’t like the font being used for typing text but…that’s life.

And horaay! Emerson and Pacifica! I should go get ready. Woo!

I Need To Shut Up, Really I Do

listening to: katamari damacy ost – que sera sera

Masumi almost ran me over tonight. The travesty! He laughed, and so did the people in his car I had never seen before. I actively stalk Masumi, by the way.

And now, I present to you a list of things I need to do. By Talia. Here we go:

I need to not convince myself that everybody hates me and thinks of me as an incompetant oaf. Because, really. I like everybody. I think I do an okay job of not being a mindlessly offensive twit to of people, and that I do a pretty good job of also being my somewhat spastic self. I don’t like jerks, so I try my hardest not to be one. And I know this! it’s just that sometimes I get into these impossible pits of doubt, and then I think everyone and their mother hates me and I feel like I just want to go live in a hole for a millenia or two. But people don’t hate me! …Unless of course they really do hate me… And one can see why I stupid issues.

I need to not be so sure that my decisions and actions as a cellist, leader and person are incompitent. I have been playing the cello for 15 years. I never believe in myself, and that needs to stop. The only time I end up being super-incompitent is when I’m too concerned that what I’m doing is incompetent to act quickly, damn me. I know what I’m doing.

I really need to just stop caring about what everyone else thinks. Yeah. That would probably fix everything. People in general can just make me so jumpy sometimes.

I need to drop what I’m doing so I can join Rasputina, because they are awesome. Seriously. Erik, I know you read this inane rambling. I must think you for introducting them to me. Thank you.

I need to go to sleep. Really, I do.

*edit* OH MY GOD. I just realized that the people in Masumi’s car were possibly the EMERSON QUARTET!! OH MY GOD. Oh, I wish they had actually hit me. That would have been such an awesome way to die…

*edit* Nevermind. Kyra heard me yell “oh my god” from upstairs, so she came in and I told her that the Emerson almost hit me. And then she informed me that it wasn’t the Emerson, it was some other people Masumi is entertaining. Damn.

Craptacular Because I’m Late!!

listening to: dog traders – panic in a pagoda

Widgets!!

Currently, I am blogging from a cute little blogger-app in widgets! Huzzah! It’s awesome mainly because it’s shiny and I can’t be distracted by the internet quite as easily while I post. But on the other hand, I’m not sure what I’m listening to and I feel naked without 5 or 6 windows hanging about.

Whatever. OS 10.4 is a vast improvement from 10.2. I am pleased.

So yes. Got up. Finished paper. Kicked life back into printer. Installed 10.4. Went to classes. Amazing amounts of productivity for me. Though I have not yet practiced and CRAP there’s another rehearsal for Bob’s recital tonight and I really really just…don’t want to. Mostly because I’m lazy.

Also, I keep getting this “if I were a conducting student…” proposition in my head, hereby preventing anybody who has approximately 3 short rehearsals planned before a recital from playing Brahms symphonies.

Aaaah, craptacular! I’m late! Sorry Kerry, who will inevitably read this and be like, “that’s why the twit was late”!

Eeeeeeeee!

Thanks, Brahms!

listening to: r.e.m. – pilgrimage

Here is an example of the supreme awesomeness of my teacher: I emailed our studio accompanist whom none of us has met yet –a girl named Sophia– early this afternoon to see if she would be available to accompany me in our studio class next Tuesday. I ran into Anne today, who is also playing Rococo, and asked her if she had worked yet with Sophia. “Who?” says Anne. Insert quizzical look here. “Sophia…? I thought she was our second studio accompanist.” “Oh! Yu-ju! Yeah.” “…wait, what??” “Yeah, she just told Brandon to call her Sophia because he couldn’t say her name.”

There you have it.

As it turns out, Jie is playing Rococo for anybody who is playing it, Sophia/Yu-ju thing has been for NOTHING.

The paper is actually going alright. I know exactly what it is I’m going to say. The problem is just disciplining myself to sit down and do it all at once. I actually got a full page done in 30 minutes, which is better than I thought I could do, and stopped a few minutes ago with about 4.5 pages. Now if it weren’t for 8-million digitized distractions. Like blogging. And OS X.4 which ARRIVED IN THE MAIL TODAY!! Freakin’ A. I have yet to install it. I did sort of verbally welcome the box into my apartment. Which is sad.

Bob’s recital rehearsal was…okay. I say okay because I was tired, frustrated by the soul-sucking chairs in Smith, and PISSED at the fact that I can’t bow Brahms for SHIT. That’s okay, though. As Bob put it, sometimes any bowing with Brahms will be a crap bowing. Thanks, Brahms. It helps that the whole orchestra seems somewhat laid-back and good-humored about life. Aaaah, stuff.

TALIA, GO WRITE PAPER.

I have nothing more to say to you people.

Spleep

listening to: cornelius – mic check

It is 1am. I am awake. I have only written 2.5 pages, and it is a very scattered 2.5 pages at that. I am sore, as I decided it would be an awesome idea to go running around 9:30, since running is not paper-writing. I think I really wanted to practice, now that I know it’s an official thing that I will at least be attempting to play Britten (OMG), but I can live with running. I also went through a major fit of Neil Gaiman fangasming at some point…can’t remember when exactly (note: Rebecca sent him our email, but he hasn’t responded in his blog. I’m just hoping it’s only a delay). It sucks that I don’t have the attention-span to get things done, like paper-writing. Because then this might be easier. Oh well. I have until Thursday and my goal for myself is 5 pages. I could be in much worse shape, remembering that one time last year when I waited to write a 4-page history analysis until the night before AAAHAHAHA, that was funny.

Rebecca drew a pengwat. Yeah.

Did not regress into bitter and misanthropic self from summer, yay bygones.

Ahaha, greatest icon ever.

This is not productive. Productive would be sleeping, as running on a full day with -5 hours of sleep is not cool. Spleep.

P.S. There are MUTANT CRICKETS in my kitchen!! BLARN!

Love And Kisses…

listening to: cibo matto – clouds

General note: I am staying far away from instant messaging, cell-phones and other distractable people-communicating…things until I finish at least 4 more pages of paper. If anyone finds me doing otherwise, KICK MY ASS.

Now that that’s out of the way…

Dear Talia, please do not regress to the bitchy, misanthropic, bitter version of you that you so successfully left behind for the past two months just because of one. tiny. Minute. INSIGNIFICANT. occurance. Please. We are begging you.

Love and kisses, Corinth inhabitants of Planet Earth

Dude. I had the best lesson today. Er, I think. I almost felt like I was falling back into this very high-schoolish tendancy to only half-ass things in my practicing and then take them in. I’m going to watch that. But that aside, good lesson. I think before very long, I will have the last variation of Roccoco whipped. And then I’ll just have to worry about the stupid slow movements.

That, and we talked about my recital. For which it turns out I will be playing Beethoven sonata no. 5, Roccoco Variations and…wait for it…BRITTEN SUITE!!!

WTF. I totally thought that was a no-go, and just a “oh, well, if you ever played it, that would be cool sort of thing.” I would love to go practice right now, but instead (and to prove my filthy procrastinating ways) I give you this: Britten cello suite no. 1: Canto Primo, played by Rohan De Saram, the first movement of nine. Hoooooly crap.

That is a huge recital program. It might very well consume my soul, if the Judaism paper I should be writing doesn’t do so first. Somebody call the Waaaaambulance!

Meh, Productivity

listening to: jill sobule – somewhere in new mexico

It occurs to me tonight that I am too accustomed to accomplishing cello-related things, and not at all accustomed to doing actual class-work. So I think it merrits some sort of prize that I WROTE A PAGE OF MY PAPER. Ugh. It doesn’t merrit much, though. What with a whole 5 pages to go by Thursday. Maybe a sharp kick to the knee-caps?

And…oh my god. I’m sorry to have to turn this entry in an entirely opposite direction, but I am possibly going to throw a mini-fit right now. I am playing for a conducting recital this week, and originally there was only a short rehearsal one night right before the Pacifica/Emerson String Quartet concert but…but…

If I have to miss out on the unbelievable ungodliness of Brandon AND David Finckel playing together in the same concert, I will cry. And by cry I really mean EAT PEOPLE’S BRAINS.

Okay. I’m fine. Woo, stuff!

If I knew what was best for me, I would go either sleep or continue being productive. Kayo!

Morning Soul-less-ness

listening to: cibo matto – sugar water (acoustic)

Some people have no souls. I have said enough.

I’m too lazy to link to any of the cool boingboing things from this morning. I’ll just say that I NEED THE KATAMARI DAMACY T-SHIRT and leave it at that.

Also, RACHEL: I don’t know if you will read this, but I just think you should know that as long as you poke me on facebook, I will be poking you back. Seriously. This could go on forever. If I ever cease to poke you, assume that I’m dead.