Why Is Everybody Married!?

listening to: some form of stereolab, in my head

Wah!! Why is everyone married!! Bloggers are getting married! All sorts of random band members are wed to eachother! Grad students I know whose weddings I am playing for despite having sworn off playing weddings for people I am friends with! Random class-mates who have not only already been married since the end of high-school, but DIVORCED as well.

Sorry. But I had no idea Tim Gane and Laetitia Sadier, both of Stereolab, were married. I’m actually cool with that. I really like both of them. Tim Gane kind of reminds me of Jason (friend in Japan). He looks so happy when he plays guitar, and I love that. And not in the kind of “look at me, I’m so happy because my playing is HOTT” sort of way, like Yo-Yo Ma (though I still love that man and his cello-playing, bless his soul). He’s just happy to be playing stuff. And Laetitia Sadier is also awesome, as one of the remaining members of Stereolab who does everything. So go them.

Also, Toko and John from Enon?? Then there’s the Japanese girl and the Italian dude from Blonde Redhead. What is it with weird bands with Japanese girls in them? Anyway. John Schmersal is crazy. And so is Toko. So good for them.

I mean, I read recently from someone that some really stupid article recommended that you best play chamber music “with family members.” So maybe that’s cool and stuff. In the meantime, I’ll just make chamber music with my colleagues at school. Because my family might drive me wacko, and I’m not married. I mean, not married to any awesome musicians. Well, first and foremost, I’m not married at all. God. Does someone have a hammer I could use hit myself with?

I need to go. What am I doing? Why am I blogging? I don’t know.

I need to go.

Is This A Boot Outlet?

Jamie and Megan arrived home back in the states yesterday. They called my cell-phone from Chicago, and as is typical enough with me, I had no idea where the phone was. I heard it quite clearly, reverberating through the upstairs hallway, but every time I stepped into a room thinking I’d find it, the sound faded out and it became clear that the phone was in another room.

I found it in the bathroom (I don’t know why) by the fourth ring, at which point it was too late to answer it, so I tried calling back. I couldn’t call back because messages were being left on my phone, and I’m guessing their phone didn’t have call waiting.

So finally I found two new messages on, both of them greatly amusing to me.

First Message, Megan: “Hello, this is Boot Country. We’re sorry but we can’t take your call right now. Yeah. We’re in Chicago, and just give us a call back”

Second Message, Jamie: “Ah…uh…I…can’t do this. Sorry. Just call us back bye!”

(Backstory on the Boot Country thing: When I was home two winters ago, the phone started to more frequently ring with two short tones at one time, signifying a fax coming through. You can generally let the fax machine handle it on its own, but sometimes the fax machines sending are stupid and need help, so I prefer to pick up the phone and dial *-5-1 to the beep. But for some reason at this time, when I picked up, I wasn’t getting a fax. Once I got someone on the other end asking, “yes, is this a Boot Outlet?” I suppressed a snort of laughter and told them that, no. This is not a boot shop, almost tempted to tell them it was a bassoon shop. I figured it was just a random wrong number that caused our phone to weird out and give us a fax tone. Until two days later when somebody else called, asking for Boot Country. This time I knew something weird was happening. I got at least one other call asking for Boot Country. And I seriously don’t think my parents believed me. But Jamie and Megan and I found it pretty amusing).

After my third try to calling Jamie and Megan back, I finally got through. But Megan acted first.

Megan: “Hell, this is Boot Country, how may I help you?”
Talia: “DAMMIT! YOU BEAT ME!”

My friends are home.

Criminey, are there ever a lot of people coming to see the Sound of Music. I had to park like a half-mile away from the band-stand last night, because every other part of the park was full. What the hell? There were never this many people coming to see the other shows, prior years.

As I’ve said, it’s an okay show. The von Trapp kids rock. And so does Maria (funny story, as I was crossing one of the roads in the park last night around 8, I saw the actress who played Maria speeding through in her SUV, while brushing her teeth. I want to be friends with her). But the captain? Aiyaa.

I’m alright today. I think. I hope. I’m not the most stable of people, I think. But I’ll be alright, for now.

Why Now?

Does it ever happen to you that you’re doing fine and all’s well and crap, but then one tiny little occurance in your day drags you down into hell? That just happened to me. And it was like…I had been doing really well for about a week at that point, but suddenly it’s back to square one. And it sucks. Because I was…really happy earlier. Two of my best friends are back from Japan after almost 8 months!!! Lots of random and amusing occurances were all around me! But…right now it means nothing.

I really wish I could talk this out. To somebody. Or something. I can’t seem to make it happen with a locked lj-entry. It’s just…people reading. I don’t believe that anybody really cares, what with the paranoia thing. I don’t want people listening to me just because they feel bad for me. I want them to listen because they really care about…me. And blogs just aren’t like that.

Maybe I could just drive to some remote place, and shriek and cry and let it out. Just…yell. I would like that.

I don’t understand any of this.

Sakes Alive!!

I just realized that I don’t love Oatmeal the same way I used to. And I don’t quite know how to feel about that. I think it might have had something to do with the dorms and their dining services, but I don’t know. This sudden oatmeal apathy is kind of alarming.

As always, I am the ever-contemplating Talia. Behold my latest over-contemplation.

This past year I think I’ve accomplished a pretty big thing, for me. Or maybe even, TWO pretty big things. One cello and one people. With the cello one, I learned how to work in a manner that best suits me and really gets things done. I’ve also learned how to really get along with everybody. Er, I think, anyway. It’s weird, when you hear the things that people have said about you, through others. And when they turn out to be only good things. I should mention, one of the most amusing things that happened this year was when I needed a letter of recommendation from Brandon, and he had like five minutes to put one together. So I get this hand-written 5-line letter, stating that I’m a good musician, yadda yadda, but above all that I am popular among my peers and…some of us had a good laugh over this. Especially when I said “what, after I threatened to MURDER THEM ALL??” about this.

Seriously, though. I am the most paranoid person I know. I’m convinced that people hate me. And that’s usually what gets in the way of my ability to get along with people. If I suspect that someone less-than-likes me, I am more than likely going to become the biggest recluse in the world, as experience tells me. But that didn’t really happen this year. There was one time where it almost happened, but then I just went “eh, screw this. it just doesn’t matter what other people think.” And…you know. That’s good.

But on the other hand, there are some things I need to try and avoid this year. Mainly, being influenced by other musician peers of mine and how they approach um…life. Because, yes. Now that I realize it’s okay to be selfish sometimes, and just not care what other people think, I need to apply this attitude towards my productivity in music, a little more. It seems like all my friends and studio-mates practice whenever they get a chance, or 6 hours, or some number of hours that doesn’t seem like a whole lot of fun. I also notice that a lot of people are very hard on themselves, and seem to think that if they’re not hard on themselves they won’t get anywhere.

And that’s a bunch of crap. I need to not feel guilty about practicing around 3 hours every day. Sometimes more, sometimes less. That number suits me well. If I’m practicing more than that, it means I’m not being productive. Keeping the hours down and keeping the sessions shorter means I manage to work faster and more efficiently and always have the energy to get what I need done without warping my brain. I need to not make it hard on myself. This summer has been odd, because I haven’t been practicing too many hours in the day (bah, 1-2), but I haven’t had a SINGLE thought about Rococo being hard. Mostly I think “…these are just notes. I know where they all are. playing them shouldn’t be a problem.” And it’s not. And now I’ve learned the entire Rococo Variations and it is NOT. HARD. It’s fun. And in no way does it make me crazy.

And that’s a big problem. If people would just…stop freaking out and believe that they can play the crap…then I think they’ll be able to.

On the other hand, I finally got ahold of the music for the Brahms double concerto today and OH MY GOD. It’s so…just…I don’t think this will be possible in one month’s time. It’s so hard. I mean, it IS a concerto on its own. I know I just said that if you believe that you can play something, it will make it more reasonable to actually be able to play it. But, hey. There are limits. Such as time. If I were going to perform this at the end of the semester as opposed to the end of August, and if I had a teacher to help me through it, that would be a completely different situation. I mean, also, I’m only 19. I haven’t suffered and bled yet, metaphorically and musically speaking. There are some things I still don’t believe I’m mature enough as a person to play. And this might be one of those things.

Okay. Crap. It’s late and I have Batman waiting for me upstairs. And…JaMeg are home tomorrow!!!! Sakes Alive!!

BloGoogle

listening to: oingo boingo – all the pieces

Google and Blogger have too many of the same letters in their names. I hate it when I’m multi-tasking and decide I need to blog, open and new window so I can type “blogger.com” but have actually manage to enter “google” and then come back to the window where I’ve typed it a little later and think to myself “what was I going to do? oh yeah. search for something. BUT WHAT?” And then go crazy.

So…do you want to know what I’m obsessing over now? Sure you do. Did anybody out there ever watch ReBoot? Uh huh. Meee too.

I think I’ve finally reached the point where I am looking forward to getting back to school. Admittedly, I think when I decided on that cello two weeks ago is when I was ready to get back to working hard at the cello. And admittedly I am still having really ridiculous issues about C-U (though at this point I’m willing to hypothesize that as long as I have to live there, I’ll have issues). But currently, I’m living in this weird amgibuous state of sitting and waiting, and even though this year it’s as lot better since I know what’s coming, it’s kind of annoying. So I’m ready to go back. Also, I’d prefer that if I’m going to spend all my time dwelling on the fact that I don’t necessarily like C-U, I’d rather do it while I’m actually living there and having to deal with it, instead of living here and supposedly being on something of an academic vacation. Wouldn’t life be easier if you could sometimes just…flip off the switch in your brain labelled “contemplation”? Because it totally would be. I wish you could control things like that through switches.

So anyway. Ready for school. It’s actually weird to think that this is the first year that I’ll be at the same school for two consecutive years since high school.

Man. I got the best dress-pants yesterday, which were very very on-sale and are 100% wool and about an inch too long for me, but hey, hemming is fun. I mean, fun for professional people who are capable.

Aah, self, GO DO THINGS.

Vaughn W-W-What?!

listening to: man or astroman – domain of the human race

Except…hey. iTunes has randomly changed songs on its own. That’s interesting. Why does this computer and everything that runs within it hate life so much?

Oh man. I have got to convince my quartet to play Vaughan Williams’ first string quartet. I’ve been listening to it like crazy lately, and *death* It’s so good. I love contemporary English music. I especially love Vaughan Williams. Have I ever gone on about how Vaughan Williams is to Gustav Holst as C.S. Lewis is to J.R.R. Tolkien? Probably. But it’s interesting. I think the authors were contemporaries of the composers by a few years, but all of them ended up with involvement in the WWI I believe, something which supposedly shaped a lot of their work. I know that’s especially true about Holst, and the Planets. Sort of in the way it’s true for Tolkien and LotR. Aaah, shutting up. I need to research stuff like this more before going off on giant blurbs about it.

But anyway. I was always sorely disappointed that Vaughan Williams had never composed any really big works for the cello. He certainly did favor the viola, but the cello? No. He’d only released on short work of six English folk-songs for cello and piano, that have been transcribed for just about every other instrument in existence. OR SO I THOUGHT.

I was in Chicago today with my mother, and we stopped into the sheet-music store on the 9th floor of FAB, and I found this work by Vaughan Williams for solo cello and orchestra. Holy crap!! It’s lovely. Very folksy, which is how I like it. It’s not really concerto materiel (called Variations on a Sussex theme), as it’s only one solid movement, 11 1/4 minutes according to the description in the score. But it’s nice to know it exists, and is something I will definitely secretly work on in my own spare time.

And…heh. Speaking of things I will only end up working on secretly in my spare time…I also snagged the music to Kodaly’s solo cello sonata. OH MY GOD. This sonata is so crazy. It requires the player to tune the lower two strings down a half-step, and some of the things that can happen in this piece just because of that…gah. Someday I’ll upload the third movement, because it’s absurd.

So anyway, pieces I will now be playing secretly in my own spare time that my teacher would probably give me cello-detention for: Vaughn Williams Variations on a Sussex theme, Kodaly solo sonata, and of course the Britten cello suites. Yeah. Shh.

Aheh, that’s all.

*edit* Blogger?! What happened?!

I’m Your Worst Nightmare…

listening to: brian eno – by this river

Yaaay, I finally saw Howl’s Moving Castle tonight! And it was really good! I have to hand it to those crazy Disney people, the dubbing has been good, since Spirited Away. Although it took me a while to get into Howl’s voice, but that’s probably because I was aware of the fact that KIMU TAKU DID HOWL’S VOICE IN JAPAN, Jesus God. And I’ve also gotta say, the story was completely different from the book. And unfortunately that totally caught me off-guard. For most of the second-half of the movie, my inner-monologue was going “well that’s nice, but…”. Still. It was __REALLY__ good. Ghibli visuals = gwaaah! Cute stuff = kyaaah!! Go see it.

In other things, I love having my Dad as a manager. And I love it when teachers around the area say good things about me. It seems I may have a really good subbing gig this year.

Except my mom is going all pessimistic about this. Mom, stop that! If they pay me and they play well, that’s all that needs saying. I need to do something this year.

Ooh, and…Batman. I love Batman. So much. Thank you, Aaron.

I Had To Open My Stupid Mouth…

listening to: stuart davis – fault lines

*sob sob* Why me?

I only wanted to experience Studio Ghibli goodness for myself…

I suppose I could always disguise myself. By um…wearing bright colors, or something. Seriously. Nobody would suspect it was me.

Come And Get The Letter Out

My mom is being a jerk.

Okay. I just had to get that out. I’m cool now.

I love my M.E.D., and this is only one tiny little reason as to why. Honestly, that sums up every feeling I have in terms of the idiocy of blogging, and much more eloquantly than I could ever have managed to word myself. Because it’s when people end up blantantly flaunting aspects of themselves and their lives that aren’t for the world to know where things become a bother. To me, you might as well just fling yourself in the streets and start yelling at the top of your lungs about what you did or who you did. It’s the same thing.

And that’s the funny thing, to me. It just doesn’t occur to some people that what they are posting is going to appear in one of the least private places, possible. A place that is dominated by Google searches and fandom-clans and not-nice people. I mean, it’s true that something can be said for completely anonymous or friends-locked posting.

But maybe for those non-anonymous bloggers it takes learning the hard way. I think that’s how I learned. While everybody is sharing crazy blogging-encounter stories, I will share mine. During my freshman year of college, I found myself in a fairly uncomfortable situation with someone in my cello studio. I didn’t realize that my playing and my somewhat no-nonsense attititude was seen as a “threat,” and that I made her uncomfortable. There was a weird series of events that I kept track of through my blog. I already felt like a criminal or an outcast with the situation in itself, and what I wrote reflected how angry I was about it, and how I was dissatiesfied with my music experience thus so far. But what’s more is that some of the other people in my studio who were friends with this girl googled me. At that point in time, I was not discreet about the people involved or my name on the internet, and they found my blog in a second. Even though the things I wrote pertaining to the situation were not serious, and I was not bad-mouthing anybody in a way that I thought would be offensive even if these things I wrote were discovered (what I said was along the lines of “so-and-so is immature, and I can’t see that life will be easy with an attitude like that”). They immediately reported this to my teacher (and probably gossiped about me every time I was turned around). When your teacher very kindly asks you if you were indeed the one with a certain “website” which had nasty things written in it, it’s not a feeling to forget easily. Needless to say, it was an awful situation, and even if I wasn’t the one who instigated the whole thing, my blog’s content did help to fuel the fire.

That’s when I realized that…you really can’t be too careful. I mean, blogging is supposed to be for you, yes. But at the same time, blogging will only work for you if you know how to make it best work without putting yourself in weird situations. In publicly writing, even if you don’t use a person’s name, dropping hints and trying to non-specify can be just as un-safe. At this point, I feel that the only situation in which it is okay to mention specific people is if you know that the people are 100% okay with being mentioned on your blog. If not, then shut up. Okay?

And you know, that’s what makes the people who blog well so awesome. They know what they’re doing. Dooce for instance. When I started reading her blog and experienced the things she wrote and what she had been through, I was immediately empathetic and encouraged in knowing that I wasn’t the only one who had landed themselves trouble because of a thing they wrote on the internet. What’s more, I really look up to her as a person, and admire how she handled her situation. Here is a recent BBC article about Dooce. She lists a few tips for blogging that I think are worth a look.

So…that’s all, really.

P.S. I don’t care if my mom finds this and reads that I think she’s a jerk. She knows I think that right now, anyway. And it’s not like I think that all the time, anyway. The feeling is already fading. *yawn*

Ass Narch Ass Narch

listening to: manu chao – por el suelo (live)

Woo, some responses…

Rebecca: At this point, I don’t remember what the hell I meant by “noise for the sake of artsy noise,” because I realize I like stuff that fits into that category, as well. I actually didn’t know how to word what I was saying about music, in that rant. I think I meant that it frustrates me a little when people just mindlessly say they like music based on the fact that it fits into a certain category as opposed to liking things they like based on what their ear thinks (and p.s. I know that I like the music you listen to if those random mixes you sent me mean anything, because yes. It’s your fault I like Super Furry Animals and Air, at this point, and some other stuff). Like when this random dude who found me through Blogger started talking to me and said “I see you like random weird indie bands like Enon, Dismemberment Plan and crap. You’re missing Deathcab and Bright Eyes on your list” where I specifically do not like either of those bands based on what they sound like. I mean, it’s fine if he did and stuff. But…yeah. Why am I an ass-narch? I feel like one.

m*dizza: Mmm, blender. Or…something. I don’t know. And yeah. I was just pissed. And trying not to piss other people off with my stupid rant. So thanks >D

M.E.D.: Yeah, I was frustrated for people making excuses for themselves, and yeah I definitely agree that the entire world is over-reacting and yeah I was frustrated out how voyeuristic the internet can be. Because you’re right. This isn’t really something people should be judging actions over. But at the same time, what I found the most frustrating was the blatant display of…er…I can’t think of a good word for it. Arrogance maybe? Show-offish-ness? I don’t know. I mean, yes, it’s nobody’s business. But at the same time, choosing to write something like that on a completely public and non-anonymous page of the internet is kind of asking for people to be pissed off and show it, too. With that, I’m done with this. And again, I feel like an ass-narch.

Woo!! The weather’s nice! And Aaron lent me the first seasons of Batman the Animated Series! But I have a lesson at 1 and…crap. I almost want to call and cancel, because between playing for the Sound of Music and studying for like 8 hours for one of my finals, I haven’t gotten a whole lot learned. It’s funny, because I’ve changed so much from my practicing-self during high school. I currently feel so guilty about the amount of time I wasted at my lessons with Greg, because I just hadn’t done the work. And now I’m being all hyper-sensitive about it. “I HAVEN’T LEARNED THE ENTIRE CRAZY VARIATION OF ROCOCO IN ONE WEEK?? TRAVESTY!!!!” Still. I can at least get some HUUGE help with it, I suppose. Also, the cadenza is sounding AWESOME. Go me.

Sigh. All I really want to do is watch Batman, though.

Lazy As An Ism

listening to: manu chao – me gustas tu

Sigh. The novelty of the parents being home has officially worn off. It was too complacent and peaceful around without them. Now that I’ve seen cool pictures and had my Dad be my manager and crap (seriously. It’s ridiculous. The only reason I won’t be a lazy bum for the rest of my life is because my Dad has recommended me to everybody), I’m over it. It’s just…aaaall the little things. The doors left open. The lights left on. The being interrupted while practicing. The not being able to practice because the room is occupied, in the first place. THE PEOPLE FRANTICALLY WANDERING AROUND FOR 30 MINUTES TRYING TO FIND THE THINGS THEY LOST. GOD!! I mean, I get along with them swimmingly in many ways, but it’s like trying to live with… OTHER ME’S! Nobody should have to do that.

In weird music things, I picked up Enon’s B-Sides album a week or so again and…HELL is it cool. It also came with a DVD of their bizarre videos and some live footage and *GAWK* First of all, John Schmersal is a crazy, crazy man, and I have nothing but respect for that (seriously. those are the eyes of one crazy man). Second of all, their videos are bizarre. But I think I mentioned that already. Anyway. I like Enon because they’re derranged and dissonant. Sort of like me. That is all I have to report.

You know how I like to read the blogs/ljs of people who I don’t necessarily like but am excessively curious about because I don’t necessarily like them? Of course you do. Anyway, I just read one that made me want to gouge my own eyes out, it frustrated me so much. Arrrrg, desire to rant is overwhelming but…no. I’ll just say, and I don’t want to sound trite and awful and horrible, but does anybody else feel like…now that homosexuality is more widely accepted than it once was, it’s almost like a “popular thing” to try? Seriously. I don’t mean any disrespect, because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. But I’m just…noticing. And wondering.

Why does the internet now frustrate me, now?? I used to love the internet. It was my friend. But now I’m just tired.

What Is The Internet Without Serge?

listening to: something by the cranberries in my head

I have determinedthat Serge is the source of all my mistyping in chats (little did she know).Upon attempting to start an IM with Serge, to inquire about a supposed lackof internet (you can see why we are all curious here…):

Talia: wjat
Talia: s crap
Talia: crpa
Talia: crap
Talia: dammit
Serge: hahaha
Talia: i’m never iming you gaain.
Serge: ‘llo, talia
Talia: …
Talia: yeah, what’s with this no internet shiz??

Conclusion: Serge is a piece of CRAP. And I’ll be pissed if he loses internet-capabilities. Because…seriously. What is the internet without Serge? No. I’m not polar at all. You STUPID GITS. I mean, lovely people.

This Bitch Came Out Of NOWHERE

listening to: number girl – instant radical

I like how Number Girl has invaded the playlist of this computer, as well.

Wait…distrac…ted.

Oh right. I don’t like putting a price on people’s geekdom or anything, but Kottke likes The Orb, and now I feel like maybe I don’t just like that shiz because I’m a freak, but because maybe it’s actually fun.

Aaarg, though. Lately I’ve been… frowly when it comes to the idea of superiority based on musical and geek-taste. It’s Indie. It’s stupid. I hate it.

Okay, time for a disclaimer: I know that in the past (specifically, the beginning of freshman year of college), I have been irked by people who aren’t familiar with some of the less classical/performance-related parts of the music-world. But it took me a while to realize that all musicians come from different backgrounds of music, and some people are really into one type of music, whether that be classical or whatever. I’ve since accepted this, and respect those people their choices, as long as they understand that I love to listen to loud, dissonant, weird crap on my classical off-time. I’ve also been on the other end of this scale, specifically during 20th century theory, when everyone around me HATED what we were listening to, saying things like “this is just noise for the sake of artsy noise,” while I was actually secretly really into what we were listening to. Hellooo, Steve Reich. But anyway, if that is in any way related to the following, I apologize, and I am over it.

So anyway, yes. Putting a person’s worth up based on how much or little know as a geek or music-nerd is…frustrating. I would hope that I like the music and books I do because they PLEASE ME, not because somebody said “you don’t know about this cool thing, yet?? what kind of a ____fan are you?!” I really sincerely and truthfully would like to say that I don’t just talk about my obsessions because I want to show them off. Maybe people don’t believe me about this one, because of all the “OMG NUMBER GIRL” and “SHIINA RINGO,” but I talk about them because they genuinely interest and captivate me and I’m obsessed with Japan in the first place. Not because I’m trying to show off that I LIKE SOMETHING OTHER PEOPLE MAY NOT HAVE HEARD OF. I’m sick of critisizing know-it-alls. I’m sick of people who assume I’m one of those critisizing know-it-alls. TALIA SMASH.

And…whoa? Where did all that come from, you inner monster-bitch, you? I don’t know. I feel like in the last year, I’ve forgotten little bits of myself by trying to please people and be nice and doing nothing but staring at a computer-screen in-between the pleasantry and the nice-ness. Now that I’ve had all summer to contemplate and drive myself insane, and step away from the glowing rectangle of a screen, little bits of myself are breaking free and causing havoc and MAN are they fun and awesome and serious bitches. So beware.

JaMeg are home on Sunday. Excited as all hell.

God Dammit, Jason Kottke!

listening to: tokyo jihen – ringo no uta

Damn Jason Kottke and his infinite right-hand blog links! It’s his fault that I’ve been wasting all my time reading The Superficial today. Oh, but the hilarity of it all. A lot of this dude’s commentary had my sides heaving. Some of it is just so crude. And I love that. Also, I’m now pretty much convinced that the hotness of Angelina Jolie outdoes all. God dammit.

But baaah, I’ve gotten nothing done tonight. Which is bad. Although Sound of Music was cancelled due to heat. Which is good. I mean, seriously. You wouldn’t want to dress up like a nun under stage-lighting in heat like this, either.

The parents will be home soon. Yay, I think. Except…crap! Need to accomplish things!

I think this calls for some Trader Joe’s® Triple Ginger Snaps. –I mean studying and practicing! Yes. Studying. Definitely.

[___________]

listening to: tokyo jihen – kao

Nnn, I want to know who’s singing on this track with Shiina Ringo. I have this vague hope in my head that it’s Kameda Seiji, but I’m pretty sure it’s not. Interestingly enough, I recently found out that Ringo has a younger brother named Junpei who is also a musician. They did a duo together on her cover-album from 2002. End boring blurb of the day.

I have so much crap to do, but I’m just sitting around watching The West Wing and listening to crap and distantly pondering the crap that needs being done.

I had a really bizarre dream last night. I dreamt that I was admitted to some music school where the Pacifica were teaching in addition to Illinois. It was a private music-school for high schoolers in addition to being a conservatory-type place. Althoug honestly, it turned out to be more like a camp than anything else. I know this because Rachel and Lucia were there, and we had our own weird-people cello clique and we were the happiest of twirpy musicians (note: I suspect that my brain made a major play on the fact that I found out that the Pacifica are teaching at Interlochen this summer). The school itself was a very big and exciting and prestigious thing, and I was happy to be there. But then it inevitibly turned into Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizarding. Malfoy was there, and he tried to do somebody in. Then my parents were around telling me to paint the Western wall of my room.

In other things, I’m fucking crazy. Stay away, stay awaaaaay!! My current issues are quite a few in number. Least of all, I still have Sixteen Going On Seventeen stuck in my head. Nnnhnn, make it go away! I really can’t talk about my other issues, though. Nope nope nope. #$%&@@#. This calls for ginger snaps.

In The Name Of Science

This is probably only funny to me because it’s absurdly late and I whacked my head.

Talia: damn
Talia: i think i do need to go
Rebecca: no
Jamie: boo
Rebecca: why >O
Talia: yes *apparates*
Rebecca: >O!
Talia: because i’m fucking falling asleep on the keyboard!
Chase: nooO!
Rebecca: lame
Talia: as though i don’t mistype enough already
Talia: arg
Talia: fine
Talia: if i can manage to stay awake, i’ll stay
Rebecca: haha
Serge: yay!
Serge: if you do fall asleep, though
Serge: send us a message
Serge: like, AD;KLFAJDIEOPAIFJADRUI;AJDKGPODAJOOOOOOOOOOOO
Talia: oh you’ll get a message alreight
Serge: so we know you’ve passed out
Talia: yeah, pretty much
Rebecca: XD
Talia: except…wait. let me just see what happens when i actually mash my face on the keyboard…just to check.
Talia: ow
Talia: what happens is i whack my head on the monitor
Talia: god
Serge: HAHAHA
Chase: lol aww
Rebecca: cool
Rebecca: do it again!
Talia: hmm, okay
Jamie: awww poor tacchan
Talia: ow!
Serge: XDDDD
Rebecca: XD
Talia: except i actually managed to get my face on the keys, and all that happened was i typed ” j”
Jamie: hahaha
Jamie: O__O
Rebecca: lol
Talia: so if you get “j” you know i’m asleep
Serge: yeah, it’s good to develop a callous
Serge: for when you actually do pass out
Serge: screw sewing fingers, what you need is computer geek’s forehead
Talia: hahaha
Jamie: *lol*
Talia: it’s true
Rebecca: XD
Talia: wow, you guys. i’m advancing science for computer-geeks.
Talia: by whacking my head on my monitor!
Talia: sweet!
Serge: IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE!
Kris: lol
Chase: weird

There you have it.

I Know That I’m Naive…

No, self. No. No blogging now. Not when you’re like this. When you’re exhausted and pessemistic as all hell and have Sixteen Going On Seventeen from the Sound of Music repeating itself non-stop in your head. No blogging now, pleeze.

Well, okay. Just a few things.

1) Shut up shut up SHUT UP. Ahem, please.

2) I experienced a weird moment of memory recollection or deja vu or whatever you call it while driving home tonight. My windows were down and I was listening to Enon at kind of a volume because, when you’re pessimistic as all hell, you’re kind of allowed to blast crap in your car. Right? RIGHT? But for some reason I experienced a traffic-light glow combined with a yellow lamp-post…thing and it made me feel like I was at ARIA again. Stupid nostalgaic summer outdoor ambiance…thing. DIDN’T I MAKE UP SOME SORT OF ORDINANCE ABOUT NOSTALGIA?? The records show that I DID. NONE of this.

3) 6 days until Jamie and Megan come home. Oh my god. I’m going crazy. I can’t wait.

4) Hey, sanity?? Where did you go, sense of reality and productivity and everything good?? Well, wherever you went, I miss you. I’m pretty sure I know when you left me. And that was one or two days after school was finished. Sigh. Does this mean that when school resumes I’m only going to continue sitting in a pit of unproductive insanity? Probably not. I hope it will get better. Especially with a new cello and my teacher. But…as for now, YEEARG.

5) I need to actually study for my finals

6) Things and stuff and…crap, I love the mandolin.

7) I am sixteen going on seventeen, I know that I’m naive

You Say Those Proverbs As If You Had Contrived Them

listening to: tokyo jihen – genjitsu o warau

It just occurred to me how much I actually need to practice. It’s been a while since I’ve had to do anything aside from test out cellos. So…yes.

Since starting this blog entry, I realized that I had not played It’s the End of the World as we Know It (And I Feel Fine) on the mandolin in quite a few hours. And so I went upstairs and played it. At different tempos. And experimenting with different vocal range. And I’m a freak.

Anyway. Show was not cancelled last night, as the weather was actually nice. Augh. The show starts with nuns, of course. Singing. And…they’re okay. There’s one nun that really bothers me because she doesn’t bother to blend with the other nuns and I can always hear her. I never thought I would feel violent towards a nun.

Oh my god. Tangent, but that reminds me of the best Stuart Davis song, ever, called I Eat Meat.

I eat meat, I eat meat
I don’t like dead animals but I eat meat
Please don’t point your finger, please don’t pull the trigger
Please don’t point your finger, please

I steal cars, I steal cars
I don’t even drive the things but I steal cars
Please don’t point your finger, please don’t pull the trigger
Please don’t point your finger, please

I punch nuns, I punch nuns
I believe in Jesus Christ but I punch nuns
Please don’t point your finger, please don’t pull the trigger
Please don’t point your finger, please

I miss that man.

But…what was I talking about? The show. I enjoyed the part where Maria sat on Gretl (the five-year old). And every part where Mrs. Corpus was on-stage. Because…haha…she’s Mrs. Corpus! I don’t even know why it’s funny. I just know that I always have to hold my hand over my mouth so nobody will see me snickering when she makes her first entrance. Uhigh choir people, please come see this.

I need to try being productive in my spare time for once. Yeah, self. You can do it. Productivity, woo.

The Hills Are Aliiiiiive

listening to: number girl – teenage casualties

The Sound of Music was cancelled 30 minutes into performance last night because of rain. Aah, the joys of outdoor theatre. And of me jumping over my chair with cello in-hand like lightning and shoving the thing into its case the moment there was rain. I can’t say I wasn’t grateful to get to go home early. Especially when I got to drive home in the most AMAZING lightning-storm EVER. One of the cool things about living in the middle of Midwest flat, I suppose.

I just checked USPS tracking, and the check for my cello arrived in Albuquerque yesterday, making it official. I CO-OWN A CELLO. I lurve it. It has gradually turned me into one happy little twirp in the last week. And interestingly enough, it has lessened my displeasure about school immensely. Now I actually want to go back and continue getting my ass kicked by my teacher. More on this, later.

Yesterday I was feeling mandolin-savvy once again, so I ended up sitting in front of the computer, looking for R.E.M. tabs. And…the thing about the mandolin is that it only has four strings (well, each string is doubled, meaning it technically has 8, but you know what I mean), so the full harmonic/chordal potential is a little bit less than that of a guitar. Chords just sound different on the mandolin because of note placement. So not everything I look up chords for will work out.

However, It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) is, perhaps unfortunately for all those who are not me, a song that really works for the mandolin. Both with the instrument’s timbre and chord potential. And Jesus God. I’ve known all the words to that song since 8th grade. Obsessively. If Rob read my blog and knew about this, he’d hit me upside the head. But it’s SO MUCH FUN. I can’t stop playing it and screwing with strumming-rhythm (whatever you’d call that shit. sue me, I don’t play the guitar).

Anyway. I love R.E.M. I was perusing through some old MP3 files on a CD and found this one of them doing It’s the End of the World live/acoustic in a kind of Country/Southern version and *death* That is all.

Oh my god. Beverly just called me. And she’s giving a recital in late August, and she’s asked me to play for it. And guess what we’re playing? THE BRAHMS DOUBLE CONCERTO. WTF. I love that piece, and I never dreamed I would actually get to play it. Having a new cello doesn’t make this a bad thing, either. Neither does the fact that Beverly is AWESOME and I never really got the chance to play chamber music with her, even at ARIA.

Wahahahahahahaaa…

I don’t know.

Anyway. The hiiiiiills are aliiiiive, with the sound of mmoney!

Someday, I’ll Shut Up About This

listening to: björk – verandi

The Insurance Appraisal for my new cello just came. For some reason reading it made the cello itself only that much better.

Description: The two-piece maple back has a prominent narrow width figure descending slightly from the center joint. The ribs, neck, and scroll are of matching maple. The two-piece spruce top has narrow width grain in the center and wider width grain to the flanks. The varnish is orange-brown on golden ground in color.

Hmmm. “Orange-brown on golden ground in color”? Well, whatever. You have my assurances. Cello = *love*

Also, it is co-owned by both myself and my Dad. Which hardly seems right since I didn’t pay for it in any way. But then, it is worth almost a year’s tuition difference from where I transferred, so I guess in a way I did contribute and stuff. Yes.

It’s kind of weird to think that this cello has only existed for a month. And I own it. And I like it a lot. And, and…oh hell. Now I have to go play it.

Black Holes Are Now Returning My Lost Possessions

listening to: super furry animals – it’s not the end of the world

Man. I enjoy having the house to myself, way too much. It means I can yell as much as I want. And I yell a lot. I yelled yesterday afternoon because I found my fucking Shiina Ringo Mayonaka wa Junketsu single, after having lost track of it for TWO. YEARS. It was inside the case of an Utada Hikaru single. I was overjoyed to find it. I yelled last night because I got back from the musical, went up to my room, and found an ant on my pillow. One tiny little ant. Just sitting on my pillow. Not moving or anything. For some reason, it was unsettling, and thus upsetting. So I yelled about insects being stupid and then killed it (WHY WERE YOU JUST SITTING THERE, ANT??). I yelled today when Jamie pointed out that she and Megan will be home in 8 days. 8 DAYS!! I have not seen JaMeg for something like seven months. So AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!

I also yelled yesterday because I LOVE MY CELLO. I had a lesson with Greg, and after spending an entire hour on two variations of Roccoco, he informed me that he also likes my cello a great deal, which is awesome to hear. Also, I really enjoy Roccoco. A lot. And I seem to be able to play it, too, which is a gratifying feeling. I remember being at ARIA two summers ago, watching some annoying 14-year-old playing this piece and thinking to myself “I’m almost 18, and I’ll never be able to play this piece.” But look at me. I’m 19 and I can!! I’ve come a long way in the last two years. And it has me excited but a lot more relaxed than I was.

Musical things have been better recently. I think having a cello has helped, but I’ve also sort of thought about things and talked to people. Especially talked to people. People who know other people. The people they know being like me in that they can’t sit still for two minutes, musically. But I’ve also somewhat renewed my energy for technical cello things, once again. And renewed my standards for myself, the idea that the most important thing for me to do right now –regardless of my stupidly urgent desire to branch off in some other musical directions– is to continue working my ass off with the cello and see where it lands me. Because my progress in the last year has been unbelievable. I have all my life to try other things if cello is not enough. But I need to keep going right now. Okay, I totally just said this. I deserve a cookie. And need to remember that I said it in the first place.

*forgets–goes crazy* Ha, fooled you.

Also…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUCIAAAAA!!!! You are sixteen, and that is retro-fabulous.

The Boy Who Scored

listening to: nothing, as iTunes hates life itself

OH MY GOD SPOILERS DON’T READ How’s that?

Yeah. I sort of forgot that actual people might read my blog. Seriously, though. It’s not much of a spoiler.

Think of the possibilities… And look. I even color-coded names for reading-convenience and crap. Now give me a cookie (note: H/D = Harry/Draco).

Rebecca: someone needs to write a H/D fic using only quotes from HBP
Talia: hahaha
Rebecca: well, quotes with “in bed” attached to them
Talia: HAHA or The Boy Who SCORED!!!
Rebecca: XD
Rebecca: “you didn’t hear anything i care about, potter. but while i’ve got you here in bed…”
Rebecca: holy crap, THIS practically writes itself
Talia: HAHAHAHAHA where the hell did that come from??
Rebecca: it’s when draco finds harry in the luggage rack XD
Talia: aaaaaah XDD
Rebecca: “he couldn’t move a muscle; he could only gaze up at malfoy, who smiled broadly. in bed.”
Talia: ahahahaha
Talia: i’m dying over here
Talia: aaaah XD
Rebecca: i need to find a hermione quote now. hold on
Rebecca: argh, why does this book have to be so long?
Talia: omg, hurry i have to go
Rebecca: this is hard ;_;
Rebecca: bleh
Rebecca: i KNOW she told him to stop thinking about malfoy all the time
Rebecca: i just can’t find it
Talia: yeah, she did
Rebecca: i’m pretty sure she says harry’s obsessed with him
Rebecca: but wheeeeere
Talia: haha, you’ll have to read the ENTIRE BOOK AGAIN WAHAHAHA
Rebecca: haha i will
Rebecca: oh it’s ron
Rebecca: “you’re getting a bit obsessed with malfoy in bed, harry.”
Talia: haha, even better
Rebecca: omg this needs no editing: “i want to catch him at it!” said harry in frustration.
Talia: hahahaha
Rebecca: XD
Talia: aaah, can’t type, hitting head on desk aahaha

Oh god…I think I broke a lung.

Shooting Pain In Arm

listening to: tokyo jihen – service

Aaaaaah I whacked my elbow like HELL while I was up in my room. And now it hurts to type and move and…I hate elbow whack-age.

Before I say anything else, I need to point out what might be the best part of the release of HBP, other than the awesomeness of the book itself, and that would have to be the wank. Love the wank. Aah, the circus.

I definitely got a 96 on that test this morning, even though I couldn’t have spent more than a half-hour studying. Even though the professor exchanged the word “physical” for “mechanical” for three questions and nobody asked until half the class had turned their tests in. I don’t deserve to have done that well. Oh well. I also almost fell asleep for the first time, ever. It was just…too early. And I had gotten so little sleep.

My parents called from the top of Pike’s Peak, just to tell me they were at the top of Pike’s Peak. Yeah. And then later my Mom called to make tired conversation at me, and all it made me do was appreciate the fact that I was home alone. I’m really looking forward to having my own place next year. I’ve actually been getting a lot done with no parents around.

God. Damn. Elbow hurts like a MUTHAFU…uh.

I need to read more. And not just HP. I really need to read more. All the time. I also need to convince my string quartet that we need to play Vaughan Williams next year. Hmm…bribing…hmm.

Talia Talia Talia

listening to: yuji oniki – elements

Michelle is officially the only person allowed to use pet names on me.

Nicknames anyone can use. Er…anyone who knows me well and has full approval for nick-name use, anyway. I actually think it’s fun how different people have different names for me. It makes me feel kept-track-of. Or something. I’m also glad that my name can’t be shortened from something common and long into something common and short. I think a large part of why I feel that way is because of my parents, and how they loathe being addressed as Mike and Judy by just about everybody. I like my name. Why do you think I make a point of talking in third person and inserting my name into where I could put “me” in conversation excerpts? Talia Talia Talia. The more I type it, the higher up on Google I am for results under the name Talia.

That is all.

Herr Zeller Is An ASSSSS

listening to: buffalo daughter – ivory

Oh God.

I just got home from the dress-rehearsal for Sound of Music, the late-ness of my arrival home probably clueing you in on how it went. As per usual, I’m beautiful, because I definitely have a test at 8am that I have not studied for and I am BLOGGINGWHATTHEFUCK. I’ve definitely not gotten more than five hours of sleep per night in the last three nights so WHAT FUN THIS WILL BE.

Anyway. Now I’m going to have tunes from the Sound of Music stuck in my head. For all eternity. I mean, there are worse things to have stuck in one’s head. And at least I can throw back my head and go “THE HIIIIIIIILLS ARE ALIIIIIIIIVE…” while pretending I’m in the Austrian/Swiss alps (note: I’ve been to the place where they filmed that opening sequence of Maria in the mountains of Switzerland and *death*)

Also something to mention, Zach P. has side-burns and looks more like Jim Carrey than is right for a person. Oh. Oh. And Mrs. Corpus? Definitely not directing. SINGING/ACTING AS FRAU SCHMIDT. Oh my god. I mean, she’s good, of course. She’s great. But she’s Mrs. Corpus. And I had to hold my hand over my mouth in the first scene she was in, because…well, you know how I mentioned in that audio-post that floaty “I aam the suuunlight” thing? Well, it’s like she’s speaking in “I am the sunlight” voice entirely (I know, I know, enunciation. But enunciation can kiss my non-aerobicized ass) and…ahahaha. Uhigh Choir people, you should come.

And now I’m blogging when I should be studying. Blogging and eating Trader Joe’s Goat Cheese and Fine Herb chips. And…I shouldn’t be. They’re really good, yes. But very potent. Hours after eating them, even after brushing your teeth, you can still taste them. And you ask yourself, “self, why did you have to eat more than one of those without dousing your mouth out afterward?”

Anyway, oh my god. Almost 12:30 and already tired but have not studied and…really don’t care much, as got 100% on last test and…a;sdlfkj.