listening to: brian eno – by this river

I’ll never get over this song. I don’t even know why. It’s surprisingly simplistic. Hmm. Maybe that is why I like it…

Something about this Christmas Season I haven’t really mentioned yet is the eating I did. To me, Christmas is the time to stop caring about what you put in you and how it will effect you later, and eat whatever makes you feel good. This rings especially true speaking as a college student who has to be content with eating the monstrosity that they like to call “dorm-food”.

This being said, I ate surprisingly less than I might have, this year. Why, you ask? I am pinning all the blame on the HAM.

It’s not that I dislike ham. No, ham and I get along pretty well. We had a better relationship before I had a some stomach flu things happen around a pretty ham-packed holiday season a few years ago. I’ve mostly gotten over it, but still just kind of…don’t want to eat it? There are generally other forms of meat I would prefer to ingest, but I’m a lot less picky than I could be over the matter. However, with two small-to-moderate sized hams in the freezers of both my Aunt Molly and my Uncle Dan, the ham would not go away. We were eating ham twice a day for at least for days after Christmas, and let me tell you, internet, I AM TIRED OF HAM. The last day of our stay in NY was when I started to realize that I had put more of this stuff into my being than anything else in the past few days, and when I decided I would be glad to a return to the minor, non-ham-inclusive things I might put into my body thereafter. NO MORE HAM.

I was reminded of this after walking into our house to the overwhelming smell of the stuff, just twenty minutes ago. My mom is making pea soup (one of the ham-inclusive things we ate a lot of in NY), and it might be okay later in the week for me as a leftover, but not tonight. Tonight I’m eating Sticky Chicken with JaMeg, Kira and Rachel, which will be followed by a moderate bringing in of the New Year. Huttzh (I like that mistype of “huzzah”…).

Did I mention I also got an ice-cream maker for Christmas?? Well I did.

My dad had a “members only” 15% off coupon at Barnes & Noble that he gave to me. I snagged the first book in Terry Pratchet’s Discworld series. Awesome. Except I have SO MUCH STUFF TO READ. I’m currently in the middle of my first re-read of American Gods. This will be followed with Renata’s Xmas present to me, The Island of Lost Maps, and then The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, another Christmas gift that looks very promising. I still have not read Virtual Light or Mona Lisa Overdrive by William Gibson, which are sitting on my bookshelf, staring me down every time I enter my room. And…oh man. Oh man. Oh man. I don’t even want to get into the things I wantto re-read. But what’s ridiculous is that the moment I get back to school, I will become crazy and neurotic Talia, the one that is never capable of reading for fun. Ever.

One of my New Years’ Resolutions should be to kick my stupid attention-span into submission and learn how to read for my own pleasure when I’m at school. That would really make my year. Hmm, and speaking of the New Year…

明けましておめでとう!! 今年もよろしく、ブローグさん, みんな!!


edit: holy crap! This might be the first time ever that Blogger has allowed me to use Japanese code and not completely DESTROY ME for it! Yaay, blogger!


listening to: joan of arc – the hands

I’m home. And I’m SICK. Like, I got home. And then I was like “SCREW you, body, I haven’t seen my best friends since July”, and mindlessly went over to JaMeg’s. Cut to about 20 minutes after said arrival, when I decid it would be best to go home before falling over. Well, that and they are still suffering from the effects of jetlag. 14 hour time-change? Totally.

But anyway, the drive. We left from Stueben (or Remsen. Or wherever you like to call it) at around 8am, and made awesome timing until we hit fog coming home on I-55. That was unpleasant. But other than that, it was just a really long drive. Made less pleaseant from my dripping and coughing tendancies.

Right now I am also being egged on by some sort of stomach-thing, in addition to the vague possibility of my coughing up a minor internal organ. I think it is time for cough suppresent and sleep.


Oh, wait. Have I mentioned that my dad is wanted by the police? Funny story. I’ll just mention the purchase of an unknowingly stolen bassoon including but not limited to police from both Burmingham and Normal making phone-calls, and leave you with that. This has been the biggest of family jokes for the past week. My sister and I might be baking cakes with files hidden in them, soon enough.

Speaking of baking, my pie was delicious. And approved of by the pie masters themselves.

Also, I have an accordion. Once I’m mobile, I am all over the thing.

(Sidenote: My dad is not actually going to prison)


I think something viral has gotten me. Crap, people.

I have nothing interesting to report, other than I saw A Series of Unfortunate Events today, and REALLY enjoyed it. Unfortunately, I did not enjoy my movie-going experience in the least. But – as I often like to say – life is pain.

Also, I’ve been playing Katamari Damacy like crazy in the last few days, and I’m pretty sure I actually dreamt in Katamari Damacy, last night. Thus making 3 definite video-game dreams I’ve had: Tetris, Kingdom Hearts, and Katamari Damacy. I’m not sure if the random pixel-rpg dream that was the creation of my subconsciousmind counts, as it was not a specific videogame I had been obsessing over before going to sleep. But anyway, I thinkn I prefer Tetris dreams. They involve a lot less weird.

Ugh. As is evident, I am out of the habit of blogging. Sorry, world.

I’ll be home from upstate NY on Wednesday. Because the internet totally cares about my location in the world.


Merry Xmas, all!!

Uhm…so yeah. Christmas.

Oh my god. People are talking to me over AIM. That never happens, so pardon this entry if it’s a little…distracted.

Xmas loot. I didn’t get a whole lot. But I never ask for much in the first place, so it’s all good. Basically, the only think I require every year that I don’t even NEED to ask for would be socks and chocolate. So, socks and chocolate: covered. I got a few books, a few DVDs, an iSkin keyboard protector (or as I know Renata likes to refer to it as, a “keyboard condom”). My most favoritest gift of all had to be the first volume of the MST3k Collection. Oh God. So happy.

So, the lunch/dinner gathering was here, at the Glesmann house. And…there were 17 of us. It was kind of insane, but a lot of fun. My aunt/uncle and cousins from Providence were here, and they rock. Like, I tend to forget how cool my cousins are, as I don’t see them more than once a year, at most. My older cousin, Dan, is a really big music/book nerd. My younger cousin, Brian, is an apple computer/all-round nerd. So, it’s good. But anyway, my Uncle Dan and Opa (read: grandfather), also came, plus friends of my aunt and uncle. We ate from about 3 to 6pm, and then sat around engaging in various things until around 7. I wish I could remember specifics. Maybe I’ll try to recollect more thoroughly in my blue-book later. Blogging right now is also hard because my family just started watching Master and Commander in the other room and…Maturin! Playing the cello *squirms*

Also, I decided to be kind of quietly evil and suggest that we get Katamari Damacy for my cousin Eli, who has a ps2. My parents actually did this and…ahahahaha, I have spread evil to all parts of my family. Tonight, my cousins and sister and I all started playing and…we could not STOP playing. It always makes me cackle when I spread nerdy games to my sister. Like, she completely could not leave Super Puyo Puyo 2 alone until after she beat me, when I introduced it to her. She actually called me at ARIA to boast that she had beaten it. It made me chuckle and rub my hands together in a sinister, meme-spreading manner.

Aaaaaah, I need to go watch Master and Commander. I promise I will blog a less distracted entry later.


Greetings from Remsen (or rather, somewhere up on a hill somewhat close to Remsen), NY.

So, you know that awesome, crazy blizzard that stretched from Texas to Indiana? You know, the one that dumped 19″ of snow on Evansville, IN? WE DROVE THROUGH THAT. It was SO scary, and so gross, and far less from pleasant, but hey. We’re alive and in New York, so I guess it’s all good.

Holy crap, a cat just crawled into my lap.

It’s lovely up here. Snowing lightly. I’m sitting here at my aunt and uncle’s house, trying to restrain myself from practically LICKING this new, flat iMac (WHERE’S THE EFFING COMPUTER?!). I think I have Xmas presents for my family covered, as I just made a black-cap pie for my mother. You hear that, people? I made a pie by myself!! Other than baking, I’ve been practicing and reading, which makes me feel surprisingly productive and good about myself? I don’t know. I honestly wouldn’t have brought my cello at all were it not for this recital which I will undoubtedly not shut up about until January 26th or so.

I’m still sort of bitter about not being home to annoy Jamie and Megan in person, but I guess the telephone really is worth something. I also just feel like I should be in a better mood, considering Xmas and all. Aside from that, I have no right to be bitter after learning that I am free to take an accordion home with me, when I leave. Oh my god. People, I am going to have an accordion.

Now the cat is sitting in front of the screen. Maybe I should go.


listening to: modest mouse – worms vs birds

So, I don’t know if it’s the fact that I just got newer, stronger lenses put into my glasses frames today, or the fact that I just took out my contacts–which I haven’t been wearing for over a year at this point–or if I’m going crazy, but I am way disoriented. I think it’s got to be the peripheral vision combined with the new prescription thing because…augh. Where are things? Why can’t I see them coming at me? Why aren’t they where I think they’re going to be when I touch them?!

And–nyah! I should totally not be blogging right now. I should be sorting through crap in my room and getting things together and packing up crap and–


Yep. We’re leaving tomorrow morning after all. Two days in a car with my family. It should be entertaining, to say the least, given I don’t think we’ve actually driven to upstate NY together as a family in *thinks* four years. But yeah. I’m still secretly bitter I’m going to be missing out on Jamie and Megan, but that is life.

So um, this is kind of amusing. Last night I got a frantic IM from Megan, nearly exploding (not necessarily in a positive way) with news of a new Pride & Prejudice movie, coming out in 2005. Well, holy crap, people. So naturally I google and somehow manage to come across what is not this new 2005 Silver-Screen version of P&P, but a MORMON, yes, MORMON production. Of Pride & Prejudice. WHAT?! Well, anyway, it’s out on DVD already, and I would like to try and find it, for personal kicks. And what could potentially be the best in-home MSTing, ever.

About the 2005 version, apparently Keira Knightley is playing Elizabeth. And…I like Keira Knightley. I do. But…(Megan, I’m sorry I ever doubted you on this one) as Elizabeth? I’m not even sure who’s playing Mr. Darcy. All I know is that I’m probably going to be biased until I see the movie because it’s not Colin Firth.

Well, anyway, here for your viewing pleasure is the 2004 In Review meme, brought to you by everybody on my lj friends list who filled it out first.


listening to: the pixies – into the white

Aaaaaaaahahahaha! July 16th!!!!!!!!

Ok, that’s probably the most intelligible I can be in regards to HP for the moment.

I’m experiencing some sort of expressive brain-failure, so this will be interesting. Here goes.

Yesterday was sufficiently awesome. Went to Renata’s end-of-the-year/xmas/whatever party, where I saw EEEVERYBODY. Hear me, blog? EEEVERYBODY. Well, everybody except for Rob, who has been eaten by a bear. Good times were had by all. Though I have to question the sanity of the few who went out in an attempt to play ultimate frisbee in the frickin’ weather (good GOD it was cold out). Anyway, I think most of the time I ended up just sitting around talking to Matt and Justin (brief interlude: MATT YOU ROCK AND I HAVE MISSED YOU). I was also reunited with panda-megan (MED) who has been in Oregon for almost forever-and-a-half. Later (much later), Michelle and I went out adventuring. Or whatever you’d call the Bloomington-Normal version. I will spare the details and just mention that the outcome of our adventures were way more amusing than either of us would have guessed.

It’s likely that the family and I will be leaving for New York tomorrow, as long as Ohio weather permits. If it turns out to be like other years, it doesn’t matter what the forecast says, the lake-effect snow will find us. Erica will be home tonight, which will be cool as long as she is not intoxicated and accusing me of stealing stuff of hers, like the last time we talked (note: which would explain that one ranty sibling-related entry).

Last but not least, here is some hilarious HP zen, courtesy of lj metaquotes.


listening to: antique’s roadshow from across the hall

Ngyeh! Mweh! And general flailing!

Okay. I’m restrained. I am just going to say the J.K. Rowling left the BEST holiday gift to the world on her site, behind the door that normally says “do not disturb”.

Aaaaaahahaaaaaa *restrains self from excessive fangirlisms*


listening to: luscious jackson – deep shag

I tried to blog last night, but as I was about to click “publish post”, the power flickered and the computer went dead. I must have stared at the blank screen for a full two minutes with a “where did my entry go?” look on my face.

Though actually, I drove to Barnes and Noble after that to discover that a good deal of Bloomington-Normal (and its traffic-lights) were completely out of power. So I should not complain.

Anyway, Sounds of Xmas was good. I saw people. I played Xmas music.

Blah! I hate it when I only update my blog because I feel that I’m obligated to do so. I would probably not be blogging right now had the power not eaten my entry last night, because I am currently a) whiny and b) listless.

So anyway, the whining (sorry world, you have no idea how good I was about keeping the senseless whining away from the blog this year, so just deal with this). We’re going to Upstate NY for Christmas, as we sometimes do (“we” being “my family”). And…great! Horaah! Lake-effect snow and Polish food, yay. But, problem: Jamie and Megan are going to be home from Japan for the first time since July. And for the last time in a while, too, as I don’t think they will be able to conveniently visit again until next Xmas). We’re leaving for New York on Wednesday. JaMeg are getting back from Japan on Wednesday. Go figure. I warned my mother way in advance that I would prefer to NOT go this year, if at all possible, but that I didn’t want to bum everybody else in my family out for my own selfish reasons. So she says tentatively “don’t worry, we’ll be back by New Years”. To which I say “um, yeah. They’re totally going back to Japan on the 3rd so…earlier would be preferable”. She says “okay, the 28th”, which I find satisfying enough. It seems that every other time I bring it up, she avoids the subject because she’s evil–er I mean, evasive. In the past week, though, every time I bother her about this (which I do constantly because I don’t entirely trust my parents to keep their word to me; too many weird little things that have happened (or rather, not happened)), if I am not diverted or ignored or whatever, I notice the date of our return ends up being pushed back. Currently, it’s set for the 30th. And…I hate that! I wish she would be upfront with me and just say “this is what we’re doing, deal with it”.

I mean, I apologize to the world if I seem selfish and rather 12-years-old about all this, but I haven’t seen my best friends for about six months and I may not see them again for another YEAR. I feel like I should at least get an official word of what’s going on so I can at tell myself to deal with it appropriately if need be, and not disappoint the hell out of myself if things fall through. I don’t want to have to be an angry jerk while I’m in upstate NY with my fairly large extended family.

Anyway. I like stuff.


listening to: brian eno – jj42

I just wanted to let the world know: In regards to a certain whiny entry from a few days back, shared meaning has been found and all has been forgiven/forgotten/whatever. Please act accordingly with the appropriate holiday cheer. Or something.


I mean, come on. We’re sisters. There’s an inherent need to pull eachother’s hair out and hiss, on a yearly basis at least.


listening to: the capitol years – japanese story

Hey–hey Fall ’04 semester? Remember how I told you to eat it, back in that last entry down there? Well I REALLY MEANT IT.

I just checked the final grades for my East Asian Masterpieces class (aka, adulterous asian lit) and I got a 91.5. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I seriously thought the final wouldn’t allow me an A in that class, so woo!

To celebrate, I had another slice of chocolate babka. Poland, you rock.

Sidenote: There was actually babka left in our freezer. I didn’t realize that until I was looking for celebratory crap to eat and found that. I didn’t eat my bird. I swear. He’s sitting on my knee at this very moment. I mean, come on. He’s way too cute to be eaten.


listening to: yuji oniki – transport

Disregard the inanity of the below entry. I guess I’m just not used to getting up early to be talked at by my parents for a full half-hour, anymore.

Oh, right. I wanted to blog this last night, but was basically thrown off timing-wise by a series of late-evening naps. So anyway: eat it, Fall ’04 Semester. I win.

Yesterday was my last (and second, ha!) final, for Music 110. Which I believe I finished within a half-hour of starting. Admittedly, I will miss my mountain-of-knowledge TA. I will also miss my unbelievably snarky discussion section. Yep. That’s all I’m going to miss.

I also had the best cello lesson. Ever. Here’s how that went:

12:57pm – arrive at Brandon’s house for lesson, Kyra is still finishing hers up

1:02pm – Catherine shows up looking for Simin (who is apparently lost in hyper-space)

1:04pm – Kyra finishes lesson, Brandon offers all three of us tea

1:05pm-1:15pm – time is spent trying to locate Simin while making tea and having kitchen-adventures

1:15pm – Kyra brings in a “present” from her car, for Brandon and Simin. She puts the wrapped box in the refridgerator and promptly says “So, we got you books for Christmas…”. I then chime in with “it’s easier to turn pages if they’re cold.” (memo to self: get life)

1:20pm – “Books” are really revealed to be a Hazelnut Cappucino Eli’s Cheesecake.

1:25pm-2:15pm(ish) – We divy up a piece of cheesecake between the four of us, drink our tea, and talk about various things ( things like dreams: Kyra had one in which Brandon made her enter a viola competition. He replies to this with “By the way, have I mentioned I want you to enter competitions on the viola? I think the humiliation would be good for you…”, weird Illinois protestant…stuff, Japan, the South, Sibbi’s unhealthy affair with coffee, etc)

2:20pm-2:45pm – Kyra/Catherine leave and I proceed to have a really good lesson that I won’t explain fully because I’m boring enough as it is. I will just say “Bach” and “awesome”.

I managed to be home by about 5. Nobody was home except for me, the bird and some chocolate babka. I’ll leave you to figure out which of the three was no longer in existence by the time my parents got home.

Today I’m playing in the Sounds of Xmas orchestra. It’s a State-Farm thing, and it’s so corporate it’s creepy. But EVERYBODY musical from around here (and by “here” I mean the Peoria area, too) does this every year. I think this is my fourth year, in fact. So anyway, I’m off to spend my afternoon with Leroy Anderson.


My feet are cold.

I have to restrain myself from audibly frowling (wait, what?) when my mom tries to lecture me about arriving for events in a timely fashion when she is late for EVERYTHIIING.

Real entry later. Brain needs time to collect self. Wash uffitze drive me to fi..oh, nevermind.


listening to: shiina ringo – yattsuke shigoto (zcs version)

Oh, wow. I redid some left-frame links and…HOLY CRAP! The random links have completely devoured the list of blogging-friends. Okay, most of that could be directly attributed to the fact that I have eliminated individual lj-user links and simply linked to my “lj-friends” page, but…still. There used to be a lot more people blogging than that. Heck, even half of the remaining blogging-friends haven’t updated in a while.

Honestly, though, I remember when I kept getting my stupid hackles raised when EVERYBODY and their mother was joining blogger, and seemingly turning blogging into some stupid fad. But…wow. Now everybody’s just sort of dying off. I guess it makes me feel um….more obsessive than everyone else that I’m still doing it for little to no purpose other than archiving my own writing in an obsessive manner. Yeesh.

Look, I’m finally posting links again!

+ How to make teeny tiny oranges out of clay. I’m so glad I now er…know this (via kottke)

+ Michael Crichton’s thoughts about global-warming in his latest book. Damn if I don’t love conspiracy-theories. It makes me think of one of my NaNoWriMo stories I never um completed. Aaaanyway…(again, kottke)

+ Halflife 2 cookies, anyone? (boingboing)


Good god, if Lebkuchen is not the BEST thing in the world!!!

Hrm. So I got new contacts, today. Supposedly they are the new and improved “more-oxygen-to-the-eyes” kind, with something called Hydraclear. We’ll see, I suppose.

I didn’t end up getting new glasses frames. I had sort of been planning on it. And then I was standing there looking at them, and looking at my current frames, and thinking about how I like my current frames with their yellowey “life is good” effect, and thinking about how I can’t make decisions. So I just requested new lenses for the old frames. Here’s to being boring!

Sigh. Heading back to C-U tonight so I can be ready for my 8am final tomorrow, as well as my cello lesson. In the last day, I swear that all I have been doing is playing Popper etudes. For fun. Whoa, did I just type “fun”? I’m starting to work on #9, which is undoubtedly one of the hardest in the stupid book. For some reason, though, I’m getting around alright with double-stops. It’s matter of taking the time and thinking about where I’m going next, and just getting the intonation. In the last year, what has happened to me and why is it that everything is so much easier than it used to be?! Rar.

If I set my sister up with an “anything-goes” blog (school of anything-goes martial-arts blogging!!–er, shutting up now), would she roll her eyes at me treat me like the dumb younger-sister? I mean, if I set her up with a blog in addition to something else I get for her. I already know what else I’m getting her. But…seriously. I worry that she wouldn’t care much for it, ignore it, and make me feel…like the stupid little sibling. Frowl.


listening to: guitar wolf – jet generation

Tomorrow I am going to the optometrist, which should be fun. And…glasses-inclusive. Yeah, I definitely am in need of a new prescription. Which is kind of sad and makes me wonder if I’m going to be legally blind by the time I’m 30. But anyway, I am also going to get new contact lenses, again (I know some of you out there who have never seen me without my geek-glasses before are going “what?!?!?!”–because that’s what some people did last time–and I am laughing evilly at the thought of weirding people out). Basically, I stopped wearing contacts after senior year because MAN am I lazy. And, as much as I love my geek-glasses, I have to admit that they’re kind of a bother to me when I play the cello. Mostly because they are narrow, and they fall down my nose, and then I can see my music QUITE well, but not the conductor, or my quartet-mates, or whoever I need to be seeing. Also, I would feel less conspicuous and more formal during concerts if I were to be without the geek-glasses. So…there will be contact lenses, again. It will be a sometimes-thing, though.

Hmm. I wonder what I had originally intended to blog about before I went off on the glasses tangent. Oh, that’s right. I remember now.


Yep. That’s all.


listening to: stereolab – miss modular


I was foraging through our basement of crap, and I came across this color-printout that was handed to me while I was in Asahikawa on the sister-cities exchange when I was 13. It is a collection of pictures taken while our group was helping out on the Furuya Farms and OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO CUUUUUUTE! AAAAHAHAHAHA!

Needless to say, I have spent the last five minutes giggling maniacally. Hee!!

I’ll have to scan it sometime so you can all go “gaaah!”


listening to: luscious jackson – deep shag

Whee, blogging!

Am currently home. Which is nice, in consideration of…well…everything. I am heading back for a final/cello lesson, later this week, but mweh. My stomach has been acting like much less of a twit today, so things are promising. And aside from that, a lot happened in the nap/reading-for-fun/practicing department today, so hurrah…I think.

This afternoon I ended up “jamming” (so to speak) with Josh and a…drummer. Whose name I can’t remember. –anyway, I love playing with Josh, and the last time I even saw the kid was totally in August when we worked on his scholarship stuff for Berklee. Today was fun–even though I really need to play my bass more consistently through the year because my FINGERS EFFING HURT.

Doing random improv jam stuff is on bass is fun. But sometimes I totally get mad at myself for seemingly “not being creative enough” with what I do. But…then I remember that–hey! I play the bass! The bass-line really ISN’T supposed to be the ultimately awesome and amazing thing happening. It’s really just supposed to be something of a foundation, and I know how to do that. It’s always hard for me not to want to enhance what I’m doing in SOME WAY, and then keep from critisizing myself internally when I just provide what is a normal bass-line. Hell, considering the total number of times I’ve EVER played bass with other people in a non-jazz-band setting (like…3), I am awesome!!

Arg, hurting fingers doesn’t exactly allow me to be at my most bass-savvy, in the first place.

Anyway, more of this sort of thing is to follow through break. There is even talk of starting a random “not-serious-in-any-matter-whatsoever” band. Which…is really my kind of band. Wow. And it’s kind of sad how excited I am by the prospect, alone. I was always insanely jealous of ANY of my friends who did serious music-creating and ensemble work with a band, during high school. I mean, I know I was occasionally called to add cello things for Simple in Theory, but I would have prefered a more solid involvement in…something. I always really wanted to play a consistent role in a group of musicians, to test my musicality in ways I wasn’t used to. So…this is way cool.

Also, if you are not in the LJ-realm, you should go and participate in this song-lyric meme of DOOM. I sort of realize now that most of the songs that ended up on that list of 25, NOBODY has ever heard of. So…well…yeah. Give it a try.


listening to: the microphones – the moon

My sister frustrates me sometimes. And not just because when we talk over the phone it weirds me out that I sound JUST LIKE HER. It’s this whole “says one thing” and then three years later “never remembers saying that one thing and denies it and makes me feel like a liar or a psycho or just a THEIVING YOUNGER SISTER even though I’m positive she actually DID say that one thing which relates directly to an Japanese-Ainu tapestry hanging in my room”.

Um…nevermind. The internet probably doesn’t want to know.


listening to: the pixies – ed is dead

Oh good god, THIS MAKES LIFE WORTH LIVING!!11! Especially track 10. Seriously. That so made my day (via boingboing).

My stomach hates me so much. I seriously can’t figure out what’s wrong with me. I mean, I know that happens to a lot of people, the not-being-able-to-figure-things-out, but…this sucks! Regardless of what I eat, how much I eat, when I eat, it hurts. Laying down helps, but every time I sit up again, there is PAIN. But where I get confused is usually when I am in pain, but am somehow also hungry at the same time. Like now. This has been going on randomly for almost a week, now, and I really just want to eat like a normal person. I’m going to assume that I must be sick in some way, and that this will go away if I’m nice to my body and give it some time. My mom suggested that when I come home, I go on a temporary non-solid (as in, not necessarily all-liquid, but not stuff that will require ultra-digestion to occur within my system) diet. I’m all for it.

Urr, I can’t remember what I wanted to blog about. Hmm.

Oh–right. I had my adulterous Asian Lit final this morning. It was…eh. Well, for one thing, since we were only required to take four of the six tests given throughout the semester, this resulted in there being more people for the final than I have EVER SEEN in the class at one time before. I ended up sitting right next to this girl who will be dubbed “loud-page-flipper”. Fortunately it only took me an hour to finish the exam. If I could have chosen two things to be ultimately more familiar with, it would have been early Chinese poetry and all of the stupid era/empire dates. Everything else was good. My essay on forbidden love-relationships rocked rather hard. Hooray! One final down, one complete brainless waste-of-time…–er, final to go. Sorry. Music 110 makes me snarky.

Speaking of possible wastes of time, I am never volunteering myself to do work (ie, mindlessly agreeing to play student compositions) during finals again unless it involves $$$$. Aren’t I nice? To everybody? AREN’T I NOW?

Ed is Dead.


listening to: chris isaak – wicked game

Internet, I love you for your random crap, but I FEEL STALKED.

I’m coming up with my own code of blogging. I know that sounds like the GEEKIEST, most pointless things to do, but I think it may actually help me to a) blog more to my liking and b) not feel bad when I don’t blog awesome-and-amusing stuff. I will post it here when I finish, as this is a blog and I seriously did type “code of blogging” up there, stupid lout that I am.

I definitely have a final for my adulterous Asian Lit class at 8am tomorrow, and I have definitely done all of the following today: blogged twice (THREE times if you count this entry), played Chrono Trigger, read Sandman, been to a recital, been out to Mexican food with my quartet cohorts, not practiced the cello, studied for a moderate-but-measley amount of time. I am SUCH. A. SLACKER. I mean, I shouldn’t be hard on myself. Last week was my totally hellish test-of-cello-playing-skills week. And I know my stuff for my East Asian class pretty well. But…I always feel bad about not doing very much when everbody is freaking out over finals. *ponder* Oh well.

Dinner with the Quartet (plus Jenn and Carol) was so amusing. It was one of those instances that made me kick myself for having lost my blog-me book, because there would have been so many unbelievable-yet-awesome quotes to go into the thing. We talked about the Pacifica, kittens (I think my only contribution to that conversation was something along the lines of “will we be EATING the kittens, as well?” I’m so glad my quartet understands that I’m evil), creepy-conductor-Bob, and Jenn’s totally absurd system for rating burps (“J” (as in “Jenn”) is the highest ranking letter of this scale), among other things. Also, I ran into Diana and Kyra and mis-used a few words of the English language, as I so often like to do.

I believe that from here on out it will be memorizing the empire/dynasty periods for Korea, Japan and China. I bid you all good night.

*edit* My typing/grammar skillz0rz are suffering, tonight. I will not even share what I just edited out of the above post.


listening to: rem – parakeet

I had the most bizarre and nearly upsetting dream last night. It had to do with corporate Disney and MUZAK (which is a legitimate company name for pre-composed music that one encounters in almost any commercial area —especially doctor and dentist offices. In fact, remember the other day when I mentioned my hate for smooth jazz? Smooth jazz is basically the epitome of MUZAK, which can be used to manipulate people in the workplace, by messing with their internal workings through tempo. We actually talked about MUZAK in our very last Music Theory lecture last week. I’ve been meaning to blog a serious entry about it since that lecture, but mweh, you know me). I had been forced into this lecture about a new form of MUZAK that classical musicians were supposed to be going to and readily willing to participate in. The experience was somehow very upsetting to me, and I decided I needed to escape the lecture’s facility. Except…usually in dreams like this, my “escape” gives way to some sort of chase. And in this, I just ran out and went “whoa. they aren’t right behind me ready to insert some computer-chip into my brain”. In fact, I think I actually went back into the lecture hall because I was confused by the fact they weren’t giving chase. Um, but anyway. Weird dream.

Sigh. I’m so predictable. I am going through one of those minor but obnoxious phases where I think I miss Iowa City. And…this time I know why. In fact, every time I have randomly started missing Iowa City since I sort of had my Iowa Reconciliation back in October, I have been able to pinpoint exactly where and why I miss it, and it is for the stupidest reason, ever. Basically, when I am emotionally frustrated to a great extreme, I start missing Iowa City by default. This is because in my frustrated state, I start thinking of my awesome and comforting hide-outs from that city and missing the fact that I can’t get to them in whatever current stupid emotionally frustrating state I am experiencing. I shouldn’t be too hard on myself for being human and wanting to revert to old places for comfort, but I sort of feel like I am putting off dealing with my own weird problems.

It’s frustrating being crazy.

Last night I also started listening to REM’s UP (note: if you think you know where this is going, you are probably right. Escape while you can, if you don’t want to experience an REM ramble of doom). I will first put the disclaimer here that I am an IRS girl. All REM releases 1980-87 are unbelievable to me. So it’s always been hard for me to compare REM’s most recent albums to those, because they have been so stereotypical and produced and lacking ensemble, in the last several years. But I must finally admit to liking this album a great deal. And not just because of the fact that it reminds me of winter in Upstate NY, reading Xanth novels. No, I like this album because to me it is a jump into an experimental-but-awesome bandwagon. The songs and style of writing and composing is still completely different to that of the IRS era, but it is REM and they are creating something new and unheard-of and pretty damn cool. And admittedly, the ensemble is still there. Guitar/bass things are happening, but with the more constant addition of freakish keyboard and drum-machine effects and whatnot. Note where I use the word freakish, because it really is trippy sounding, almost to a Stereolab point. But that’s what I like. None of this over-produced, overly touched-up crap from Reveal (Reveal has got to be my least favorite album by them–er, with consideration that I still haven’t obtained Around the Sun, which could potentially suck even more than the former based on what I’ve heard that went on it).

Oh, wow. That actually felt really good. It’s been so long since I’ve made a completely obsessive REM-entry. They are still my favorite band, even though they are now a commodity.


listening to: interpol – narc

Oh man, I HATE how tiny, minute details of life get me rolling into waves of anxiety. Example: today around 3, I run into the concertmaster of our symphony-orchestra. He asks if I would be willing to play a gig from 9-11 tonight. I couldn’t refuse, because I mean, it would have gone something like this…

other cellists: I’m leaving town!


Other cellists: I’m playing with C-U symphony!

Me: I’m sitting…in my room and being lazy?

and that would just look bad. Also, I’m being paid for this, in a big way. $150–yes you read right–$150 for two hours of background music.

But…this thing is for a frat-house (go frickin’ figure, on this campus), and I didn’t know the general location of said frat-house until moments ago, and even now, I don’t know WHICH CORNER OF THE INTERSECTION the place is located. And…my random anxiety is triggered by anything. So I am all like “eee, where am I supposed to be what’s going on i only found out about this gig a few hours ago aaaah”. Which is dumb of me.

I realize I would not have random anxiety problems if I did not have to coexist with other people, ever. Aaah, but this is no good. Because I’ll NEVER be able to deal with my anxiety AND my misanthropic tendencies at the same time.

Dear self, get your act together. Signed, you-know-who.


listening to: bjork – pagan poetry (live at roh)

Yay, I lived through our orchestra concert and I actually didn’t have to fake everything! …really only that one part in the MacMillan (and by “that one part” I really mean “that one page“). Actually, the MacMillan went really well. Heck, everything went well. Good orchestra concert.

Unfortunately, the moment I stepped off-stage, my body started taking revenge for all of the stress and lack-of-sleep crap I’ve been putting it through lately. Kind of it to wait until after the concert to hate me, I suppose. I am definitely feeling kind of sickly. But what worries me more than any of my sick-symptoms is my stomach. I don’t know if this has to do with diet or stress or what, but it’s been acting up since yesterday afternoon. Ever since I ate Thai with Justin, in fact. Since then, every time I’ve eaten something, the stomach goes “what did you do THAT for?!” and gives me hell. I think it could be diet. I mean, I try eating as well as I can, but there’s only so much one can do with dorm-food. I think one sign that I have reached my limit is that all I want to do is sit around eating spinach and oatmeal. Oh my god. If I could only eat two things, ever, it would be spinach and oatmeal. But obviously, not simultaneously.

I am meeting Kyra at the music building tomorrow morning at 7:45AM. We are going get coffee (tea in my case) and then practice. Blah, why did I let her talk me into that?! But–no. This is good. I’ve found that I’m super-productive with my cello in the morning. And super-productive is what I need to be, tomorrow, what with my 4pm lesson. It’s just that I never have the needed jolt to get to the music building before my 10 o’clock class.

Blarn, should go to bed.