Sing The Praises To Pants!

In the continuing story of Talia’s pants, I thought I would share a sad little something about my past pants, and how all of my favorite pairs seem to have been doomed. Every pair of pants that I can recall being a particular favorite of mine has met a sad demise of one sort or the other.

The first tragic loss of an awesome pair of pants occurred early in high school, a pair of tan dungarees that met their demise on my bicycle chain. The second pair was a particular favorite, brown corduroy. They had a particularly bad encounter with my bike-chain, themselves. I believe my chain was feeling especially devious, because these ended up being ripped nearly up to the knee on the right leg. I know I’ve killed at least four pairs of pants on bike-chains, alone.

I had this really wikked awesome pair of blue-jeans that had originally belonged to my sister. I never wore them much, probably because I didn’t care for them at the time. Then I was in Electra as a chorus member, sophomore year, and got the idea that I’d wear checkered tights under some really ripped apart jeans. So, I tore at the smallish holes in the knees, until they were really huge holes. And then after wearing them for the show, I realized they fit amazingly and were actually of a shade of blue I didn’t mind. Too bad they had monster holes in the knees that I was unwilling to wear in said condition or patch up.

Another pair I stole from my sister. They were a really cool wash. Then my sister stole them back.

Another corduroy green pair had a zipper that completely died, and was rendered irreplaceable/unfixable/not worth it.

Whoa. And I just remembered one pair that died during Bands of America. But they weren’t a favorite pair. It’s just that the way in which they died, in retrospect, was so hilarious. Ahahaha, aaah, and I’ve just spent like two minutes laughing maniacally and hopefully really annoying the girl across from me that was blasting Avril Lavigne when I walked in. Um anyway…

Now I’ve lost about two favorite pairs to becoming so freaking huge on me. My black Ralph-Lauren pin-striped jeans were much-loved, and had a sister pair owned by my…sister. They came a little big in the first place, but there came a point when I realized we could be together no more. That was when I crawled out of them without unbuttoning/unzipping them. When your jeans could just fall off randomly, you know you shouldn’t be wearing them anymore.

I’m currently wearing the other favorite-but-too-large pair. They are black and lovely. But they don’t fit. My dress pants still seem to fit me, but I like wearing jeans and corduroy pants and whatnot.

So, in conclusion, I think I need to buy new pants when I get home.

I realize that nobody needed the history of my destroying jeans and such but…too bad. You just got it.

Nature Forges A Deal, To Raise Wonderful Hell, Like Me, Like Me

listening to: bjork – isobel (live@roh)

Aaaah, I forgot everything I wanted to blog about!!

I think I’m being consumed by end-of-semester apathy. It’s lack of motivation thing combined with random bitterness and sheer apathy toward everything. I think the only thing that is really bearing weight on my conscience would be juries, or also lack of time to practice before juries. Oh well. Whatever *folds paper out of fidgety habits*

My stomach has been giving me hell for the past twenty-four hours or so. I hate being in random pain for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Maan. All of the blonde cast for Carmen had to dye their hair. And then one of the lead characters had to practically bleach her hair, even though I was under the impression all the other cast member dyed their hair brown in order to look more like Gypsies and…well, perhaps this one is just a “special” gypsy . It’s just weird to be in classes with these definitely blonde people and see that they are no longer definitely blonde. Nothing confuses me more than when people change their hair on me. Arrr.

Quentin and I are fighting. Well, not actually fighting, but we were analysing a Bach cello suite in theory, and he taps me on the shoulder and says “it’s just wrong for this piece to be written in bass cleff”, since of course, every violist is jealous over the fact that the cello suites weren’t written for viola. So now we’re throwing opposing viola-cello remarks at eachother whenever possible. I’m thinking of finding some really awful viola jokes to throw at him, because it’s immature and I’m good at being about 10 years old.

I really can’t wait to go home. I feel like I’m suspended in time, somehow. Like nothing around me is moving, and that it will never be two weeks from now.

Diminish, A Carnival Of Sorts

listening to: stereolab – long life love

This song is so bizarre. Nothing makes sense in the beginning, rhythmically, but in the later half, it turns into psychotic neo-Debussy. I think I just like the fact that it came from the album “Captain Easychord”. Oh, if ever I were to become a pirate.

As it turns out, there’s a Carmen rehearsal from 7 to 11 tomorrow night. Which is insane. I know it’s a supposed runthrough, which is better than what we’ve been doing in day-time rehearsals, but I always forget how freaking long the opera itself is.

Aaah! Andy lent me all of “1602” and…I need to read it before the end of school, but I have so much I need to finish reading before that. I also need to try kicking my awful habit of forgetting to return junk that people have lent me (any number of readers can verify this). So yeah, somebody (Renata?) whine at me to read 1602 before I forget I have it and Andy never sees it again (not that Andy really needs any more comics, from what I hear XD).

I have nothing more to say. Only that it’s difficult to finish editing my Japanese speech when I’m so…easily…distracted. Or just subconsciously unwilling to work. Like, I was starting to really analyse mistakes, and figure out what more I needed, and suddenly the fact that my sink was dirty was a pressing issue. So I seriously ended up cleaning most of my room, I think to avoid actual work, on some subconscious level.

In other news, I don’t know if I’m going to make it through the next two weeks. I’m theorizing that there will be either far less or far more blogging. If I cease to blog altogether, it is your job to worry, readers.

Also, if you like completely weird tourist-attractions and you have even the vaguest interest in Japan, you will enjoy this. (ganked via

I’m Not Feeling Alright Today, I’m Not Feeling That Great

listening to: cake – sheep go to heaven

Aaaah. I’m so cranky. And snarky. And I just want to go back to bed, but I can’t. Like, ever. Or if I don’t go to bed, I at least want the option of yelling at people for it. Rrrr. I think everyone is approaching this point on some level. My theory class may actually have discouraged Nez from being so…so…so damn energetic, this morning. “I think I’m going to have a 19th century faint!!”


Rebecca: I have already constructed your mix. It is now just a matter of burning and sending. See, yeah, it’s the burning and sending that present problems for me ^^v

Kathryn: yay, comments! And yay, my blog! And, you know, you really ought to blog in your own blog. Especially seeing as right now, Justin and Earl have you outnumbered in entries =)

Haven’t You Found That The System For Planning Always Fails

listening to: rasputina – sign of the zodiac

A lovely and people-evasive weekend was had. Friday I ended up not going to Riverfest (Anna from my theory class spotted me and asked if I wanted to go and I…was completely lame and ended up sitting around instead. oh well) and sitting around reading, and noticing that there was this huge congregation of drunk people on Stanley 10. No, seriously. We’re the 10th floor, and just a bunch of singles. So it makes a lot less sense for various drunk people to be wandering our halls than it did in my old hall, which wasn’t even a quiet floor. But I guess I can blame Riverfest. Yeah. They pounded on peoples doors at 7:30am and tore down the stuff on our bulletin board. And you know, this drunk-people thing isn’t going to get any better. Next weekend is some huge block party, and the weekend following that is right before finals. So I really don’t think I’m going to be able to escape the drunk people. Arg. At least I don’t live near the guys who are in engineering. I’ve heard…stories…

Christ-On-A-Cracker, I need summer.

Anyway, yesterday I sat around and read and translated and watched Pride and Prejudice and called my parents, and that was seriously about all that happened when I wasn’t asleep, which was a lot of the time. Today I went to two recitals, one of which was one of the DMA violinists soloing with the graduate chamber orchestra and…there were a lot of Russians in the audience (because she was Russian), but also a load of the most obnoxious children I have ever encountered. And this makes me want to write out a concert-etiquette list and drop it in everybody’s mailboxes. Things such as “DO NOT BRING CHILDREN TO RECITALS EVER”. Then I went and saw the faculty string quartet. They played this piece by Ned Roren, a quartet with movements based from Picasso paintings, and it was so cool, but again, my concert-going experience was ruined by loud and thoughtless people all around me.

I ate dinner with Laura and Suzanne and discovered that Suzanne has never played Tetris. I strongly believe that this is unacceptable. I’m going to force her to borrow my game-boy for at least a day and MAAKE her play Tetris because, well…friends don’t let friends not play Tetris! Other than that, quiet and completely un-notable day. I should have practiced a lot, but I didn’t. Oh well.

And now I’m listening to Fugazi.

And thinking I might actually go to bed. Holy crap. My sleep schedule is starting to shift into something more generally associated with regular and healthy, and I would really like to be healthy, at the very least for right now.

I’m going running tomorrow night. Following a day of excerpt class (aaah I have an exam in a week), theory, piano, a japanese test, and another Carmen rehearsal that will continue the process of corrupting my good opinion of Bizet.


Talia And Her Jealouspants

listening to: blue oyster cult – don’t fear the reaper

This came from the template-inserted chat box that’s on Justin’s blog, from the last couple days of random message-leaving. I’m so amused. Aand, I was in the computer lab when I last commented on it, thus my name appearing as anonymous.

[Justin]: I don’t think people read my blog anymore…no comments anyways.

[Talia]: Just because somebody reads your blog doesn’t mean they’ll comment =P

[Talia]: And..SHUT UP!! You get way more comments than I do and I’ve been blogging for two years XDDD

[earl]: hrm… sounds like somebodys a jealouspants

[Justin]: couldn’t be me…I currently have NO PANTS!

[Justin]: …

[Justin]: No pants, and Primus

[Talia]: I approve of Primus.

[Talia]: And I suppose, no pants.

[Talia]: So then I am the jealouspants?

[Justin]: I suppose so. Is it your pants that are jealous, or are you some sort of garment, or what?

[anonymous]: I don’t know. I have some pretty cool pants. I don’t think they’d need to be jealous of other pants. Or things. They’re just too cool

[frowl]: anonymous (and frowl) = TALIA

[Talia’s Pants]: It’s true. We are quite cool and enviable. I don’t think we’ve ever been jealous, ever.

…Now I just want to know who was posing as my PANTS in that last one. Come out, culprit! I’ll spork you to death!


listening to: the hum dozens of very happy iMacs

I hate it when something completely small and minor and meaningless manages pull my day down into hell. Arrrr.

I would be excited for the fact that this is a Friday accept it just means that Monday is close on my heals again. Followed by Tuesday and Wednesday and…

I think you get the idea.

Wendy and I almost skipped theory this morning. We both walked in, turned in our homework, and sat down, with a few minutes left before class actually started.

Wendy: *sigh* I was thinking of leaving

Me: Really?

Wendy: Yeah. But I’m already sitting down

Me: Oh man! If you leave, I’ll leave! I mean, we’ve turned our homework in

Wendy: Do you want to?

Me: I don’t know, could we?

Wendy: I think we could *starts to stand up*

Me: Well, she’s standing right there…she’ll be watching us as we walk away!

Wendy: I guess you’re right. And…how many absences have you had?

Me: Two

Wendy: Me too. So will we be penalized if we miss three?

Me: Yeah, every three brings your grade down by some…percentage…

Wendy: …but, I just don’t want to be here

Me: …me neither! *ponders* Alright, forget it, let’s go!

Wendy&Talia: *start standing up to leave*

Professor Nez: So, are you all ready for Friday? Blah blah blah stuff about 6/4 chords

Wendy&Talia: … Nevermind … *sit back down*

Yeah. So I ended up working on Japanese during Theory, but still managed to absord a majority about 6/4 chords, amazingly enough.

Japanese was…augh. I was so tired. And Nakagawa-sensei kept working with me because I was the odd-numbered student during partnered activities. And…I kept being completely incapable of uttering any logical strand of Japanese. At one point she walked away from me, but not far enough not to hear me and I moaned (mostly humorously): “I SUCK AT JAPANESE SO MUCH AAAH”

I appreciated that she laughed at me.

Oh my god. I have so much more crap to do than I had initially thought. I’m going to be busy right up until the moment I leave for home on the 12th. AAAH! I want summer, now. I also want my hair chopped. I want food! I want Koucha Ouji! Nyah. I want a space-ship! I want a pony!! NYAH!

Boku No Sukoshi No Kougousei

listening to: shiina ringo – ishiki

FROWL. I just lost this really long and wordy entry. Second attempt.

I was discussing weblogging earlier today. It was weird, but interesting to think about. Things such as, what makes good blogging as opposed to an archived angst hole (or something along those lines. “ego hole” is also an acceptable answer). Also just generally why people want to post non-news/journalist writing of their own on this vast plane we call the internet, as opposed to keeping a private book (I keep both, admittedly). I’ve been blogging consistently for over two years now, and usually don’t think too much about my reasons for doing it. I just sort of…type an entry, see it published and feel some sensation of satisfaction come over me. I like to write, I like to document, I like to share stories. What more could entitle me to having my own blog? But in thinking about it, I realize that there are generally two ways I view and think about entries as I write them and as I read them later.

(1) For the readers. I know I mention an “ego hole” in the above, but to a certain extent, I don’t think it’s possible to have a blog if you aren’t an ego in one way or another. So yes, I publish my writing in a place where possibly anybody could access it, because occasionally I am that type of person. I want people to know I exist and find me interesting and think it’s awesome that I spend so much prospective free-time chained to my computer, caught in this viral self-obsession. Okay, so I freely admit to that part. I have to say that if I know myself well enough (and by now I’m getting a feel for the ropes of…um, me), I think that this part of me is definitely there, but more in a sleeping-creature-that-only-comes-out-when-feeling-the-need-to-burninate sort of way.

Most of the time, when I think of other people who read my blog, I think of my friends. Being linked to a community of people I never see but read about all the time in their own blogs is nice. I enjoy reading other blogs as much as anything, and the ability to check up on my friends and read first-hand accounts of their experiences. Also, I think that there are a lot of people who may not know what I’m really like, and have better acquainted themselves with my personality and weirdness and such through means of reading what I post here. As Renata and I have discussed at various points in time, it’s weird how we both went to school together, and even though we’ve done a lot of fun stuff together in person, we still probably know each other better through blogs than we do person-to-person (sidenote: I miss IRL Renata lots). In any case, I want to entertain my friends and give them interesting accounts and amusing happenings for them to read. I’m always uncomfortable mentioning more personal parts of my life, and since I lack truly deep personal things in the first place it just doesn’t seem like it’s worth attempting to be overly emotional through my writing. I don’t like saying significant things, negative or positive, about people I know. I will remark on who I saw or what we did and said, and things like that. But…I don’t know. I remember that when I first started blogging, if I were frustrated with somebody, I might make some really strong and unpleasant insinuation about them but avoid using any names, and to me that just seems cunning and evasive. Finding a good balance of between personal feelings/whining and general observations is difficult, but I think I’m actually starting to find a really good balance between the way I honestly feel and the random and amusing things (I wouldn’t trust me if I were you, though. tomorrow my entry could be about how I want to live in a hole in the ground because I’m not people compatible and I hate everyone and there’s no hope for me as a human being, so whatever).

(2) For myself. I write obsessively, all the time. If I’m not near a computer, I’ll write in my blue book or on my music theory notes or on something that resembles paper. I just like documenting my random thoughts and experiences. I also like making record of current obsessions, projects I’m working on (like the continuous project of cello/music crap). Anything that’s on my mind goes down somewhere. ARIA is hard proof of this. I wrote over 100 pages in my private book over the course of my four weeks there, and even forced Megan to send me another book when I was about to run out. I think blogging is a convenient way to keep document of a majority of the things I’ve written through links and html files, instead of scattered and deteriorating books. I think part of what spurned me into writing so much in the first place is because I like having bulk. I like having solid proof that I’ve been working on one thing for just this long. It’s such a satisfying feeling. True, it’s pointless, but it’s fun. Also, I like reading what I’ve written. Some of it makes me laugh about things that have happened. Some of it is just silly and amusing. Some of it is embarrassingly bad. I like that I can see where my writing changes and what changes it.

Recently a lot more people have joined the blogging bandwagon, and I think, having read a lot of different blogs, there are definitely some different things people have in mind when they blog. I just like to think that mine are less based on the blogging fad and more on my genuine desire to write.

Maybe I sound like I’m full of crap. That’s okay. I don’t mind. If that’s so, then I probably always sound as though I’m full of crap, and what’m I gonna do to change that? Nothing.

In other things, WEEEEEEKEEEEEND, will you GET HERE ALREADYYY? Or for that matter, end-of-the-semester?!?!

Happy Birthday to Rachel!!! And to my Dad!! Yay, Earth Day!!

Wants And Needs And Lists

listening to: yann tiersen – le jour d’avant

Lists are fun. So here’s a good one:

things talia wants to do

-watch futurama

-finish reading iron and silk

-start reading all of 1602 which Andy so kindly lent her

-play tales of phantasia

-record more mandolin stuff


-translate/read manga

-call home and whine at the parents about a new cello bridge

-blog about some other random things

followed by…

immediate things that must be done

-go to lmc and do listening lab

-do music theory/finish reading chapter

-revise japanese speech draft

-look for some stupid bit of sheet music

Okay, if I ever said I hate music theory, it’s not true. I enjoy music theory. I just hate locking myself in a practice-room for hours in order to finish the homework. But I guess it pays off *puts recently returned assignment, sporting a 97/100, on fridge*

She’ll Be Down When The Mountain Lets Her Go

listening to: tori amos – mountain

I’ve decided that if I’m ever a competent composer, I’m going to write my own Carmen opera. But it’ll be a Bizet Carmen/Carmen Sandiego crossover. And Rockapella will definitely have to make an appearance, if not…haha (I just thought of this) serve as the orchestra itself.

This is a really bad point in the semester. I have so so so much work I need to do, and so little time in which to do it, but I don’t care anymore. Part of me is pretending to care, and definitely doing a good job in theory and cello, but on some greater level, the rest of me is just going “meh”. And it’s really bad. In the next two weeks, there are so many things that are going on that I need to somehow prepare for. Here is a rundown of what remains from now until May 12, when I go home:

  • japanese speech
  • japanese chapter test
  • japanese final exam
  • carmen
  • juries
  • dvorak bass quintet
  • chamber music concert
  • recital attendance (7 more)!11!!!!!
  • preperation for Maia concert (my quartet WON this competition, of all things, so now I just have more to practice and worry about)
  • juries
  • frigging Philharmonia concert
  • emailing people about important things
  • learning Bach
  • freaking out

Arg. This is just…I have so much on my plate without all of the little (or big) extra things I’m doing. And also, bad thing: I’m not actually registered for chamber music, and I talked to somebody about this yesterday, and I was told that I might still be able to get credit for it. That is, if I go and get a signature from my advisor AND the dean of liberal arts. Holy crap, when the heck am I going to do tha?! So, lazy and busy me is just thinking “Oh hell, it’s only one credit hour”. So yeah. Heh. Oh well.

Today is really busy, too. I have a lesson. And a listening lab chapter. And music theory homework -____-

But…having learned that Asian (and Texan) music is based on the Pentatonic scale has made me HAAAPPY! I swear, being able to find a name and a rule for the things I like is so pleasing…

Cease To Resist Giving My Goodbye

listening to: wilfred castillo – coming in for landing, we’re home

Distractions make life hard. I mean, I’m all for being distracted, but not so much when I have reading and Japanese to do. So I thought I’d give in and let blogger distract me from everything of importance.

First off, Jamie has just sent me to Hakusensha’s page for one really effing big distraction. Cover for #10 of HanaYume is shown. With a very promising picture of the favorite shoujo manga hero/heroine. Dammit. Koucha Ouji is the last thing I need to lure me into end-of-semester apathy right now. Maybe I should considering actually drinking tea every time I want to read Koucha Ouji.

Second of all, this thing I’ve ganked from Renata…

Load Up a Random Playlist of 10 Songs. In Order, List Your Song Titles As Your Answers To This:

1.Your Life’s Philosophy: Indless Summer [although indless definitely isn’t a word…I guess that works for me, though]

2.How You Feel About Family: Fruity Organ [o…kay]

3.How You Feel About Love: Blood Roses [wow…go tori, or something]

4.How You Feel About Sex: Music Fighter [suh]

5.How You Feel About Work: Agehachou (butterfly)

6.How You Feel About Politics: You Don’t Know Jesus [Bahahaha!]

7.Where You See Yourself In 20 Years: I Go Humble

8.Your Last Words Will Be: Carving In A Tree

9.Your Life Will Be Described in Your Obituary As: Hot Chocolate [maybe I end up working for Swiss Miss?]

10.When Your Friends Think Of You, They Think Of This Song: Wave of Mutilation [SWEET! ~You think I’m dead, but I sail away on a wave of mutilation, wave of mutilation~]

Last, but most entertaining is this…condensed (and snarkified) Shakespeare. I’ve never read Pericles, but this guy has made is so that I probably won’t ever need to. Here is an excerpt of the hilarity:

HELICANUS: What’s the matter, my lord?

PERICLES: Oh…the king of Antioch is sleeping with his daughter and now he wants to kill me because he’s afraid I’ll tell everyone about it or something. (He leans out the window.) OH, IF ONLY I HAD NEVER LEARNED HE WAS SLEEPING WITH HIS DAUGHTER.

HELICANUS: I can see how that would be a problem. Maybe you should leave town until he cools off, or dies, or whatever, since it’s pretty easy to find you here.

PERICLES: Since I’m prince and all.


(ganked via


listening to: number girl – hadashi no kisetsu

Arg. Carmen is not my favorite opera.

You know, I think Bizet’s Carmen would be significantly improved if Carmen stole national monuments and Don Jose was her prime henchman, head of all the other henchmen. The tragedy in the end can be that all of Carmen’s henchmen betray her to Don Jose and when she refuses to love him, and throws some ring in his face. The end.

Nobody else seemed to find that very amusing at the time, but oh well. Simple Pleasures and Easily Amused or something.

things talia must do tonight

-practice. a lot.

-japanese workbook homework


-write up speech draft for japanese

-read latest chapter 18 of aldwell and schacter’s music theory textbook

-begin music theory homework

-worry like hell

Uh huh. Off I go.

Warning: Possible Excessively-Obnoxious Rant Below. Read At Your Own Risk

listening to: number girl – seiteki shoujo

Bah! The weird harmonic-chords at the end of this make song me want to get up and have a literal freak-out (in a good way…if…that’s possible).

Mrph. Every time I try to elaborate on yesterday, I find myself staring blankly at the computer and beginning to wonder if I’ve had an evil brain-slug attached to my head (brain-slugs for candidacy!). Mrr.

Nothing happened yesterday. It rained and I went to a pet-store, and that is all that is notable.

Now I will go straight to my quasi-rant.

Only recently have I started checking out Something Awful more than sporatically, and was completely aghast with hilarity at their main-page spoof of Pitchfork Media. It’s blatantly evil but SO accurate, it’s impossible not to laugh if you’re familiar with Pitchforkmedia’s manner of…doing and being.

My shtick with Pitchfork Media: I have to admit that I appreciate (some of) the files they have up for download. In essence those files are just scattered files from official band-pages, all on one page. It saves a lot of time and venturing and…well, it basically has introduced me to music I may not have ever come across, had it not been for them.

On the other hand, I think most of their reviews are completely frustrating. I mean, it’s true that there are quite a few albums I am fond of that the reviewers may feel differently of and vice versa, but that’s beside the point. Way beside the point. I am hacked off because of the actual reviews being evasive, over-wordy, etc. On one end we have the vague. Really, does this qualify as a review at all? It hardly occurs to me that this is trying to convey the ideas of an album’s content. Stereolab’s Dots and Loops is an extremely good album, as it must be if it makes me go completely crazy over music theory. So I think it deserves some elaboration. A whole lot. Then there’s the dwelling and negative. I really don’t mind if a reviewer doesn’t feel the same way that I do when it comes to an album I believe is a great work, such as Bjork’s Vespertine, but the least the reviewer could do is back up what he thinks is so negative about the album with a few more specific bits of musical/lyrical support instead of mentioning Bjork’s prior amazing album, Homogenic twice every paragraph, and pinning the blame on collaboration with Matmos. Really, it just saddens me that the reviewers have to so elaborately give these albums the smack-down. There’s also the extreme excess. I don’t mind comparatives and whatnot, but I really could have just gone with the general analysis of of the tracks. And then there’s the completely absurd (okay, here I give up on being neutral and will become my elitist jerk-self, while I wonder quietly to myself if this guy’s EVER HEARD THEIR EARLIER ALBUMS?!?!?!?!). Also, they’re just Radiohead biased. Check out the ratings they gave all of Radiohead’s stuff. Yeesh!

I know I have no right to complain about a legitimately successful media site that has reviewed so much content in general, and I do say there are still quite a few legitimately good reviews floating around, but I also think there’s a general lacking in a lot of reviews. I have to wonder a few things about reviewers. These are general things that don’t have so much to do with specifics from the above. First of all, do reviewers have any musical background? I’m not saying it’s necessary to have been a full-time musician, or even know the workings of music theory, but I think that somebody who has had minor experience with an instrument, who possibly thinks about musical workings, or even someone who is barely a self-taught guitarist may be able to elaborate a little more on what’s great/not so great in a language that EVERYONE can understand and relate to. Second of all, how open-minded are they? I know what it’s like to love an album so much and be frustrated that the work of an artist isn’t so great with the next release, but I think someone can make their point about an album not being quite as amazing as the last and still be neutral about it, without going “they’ve got nothing” or “completely failure”, and maybe focusing on what’s still good about it (I’ve seen a couple of those, around). How much do most reviewers listen to an album before reviewing it? I really just believe that the longer you know something, the more easily you can elaborate on it. I wonder how long fans will go before actually making a decision of their own opinion on an album. I know for me, it takes months to learn an album really well and find an opinion, and even then, I think coming back to an album after a month or so of not listening will refresh and maybe even enhance opinions. Also, I think relying too much on the support of other artists or previously released recordings takes the individuality out of an artist and their album.

Over all, I would like content analysis. Not crap like “the sky is black like my soul and I guess this album doesn’t suck too bad”. I don’t mind opinions about specific annoying/cool things if they are legitimately about something in the music. That’s where the hard part comes in, and why I think people who want to review music should familiarize themselves with theory a little bit more. Talking about specific things in music. It’s hard to do, especially for people who aren’t freaks of music with their (a) obsessive-listening tendencies or (b) perfect pitch (sigh).

Okay, have I turned into an elitist music-bitch yet? Probably. I apologize to anybody out there whose like “what the hell are you talking about, nobody hears music the way YOU want them too, freak!”, or just generally thinking that I have high standards. Ranting always makes me feel guilty.

Edit: Wait, no, I’m an elitist music-listener, but I don’t care. Here is another example of vague: Hooverphonic’s A New Stereophonic Sound Spectacular. AAAAAH!

Open The Window To Lift Into Your Dreams…

listening to: rem – parakeet

I’m listening to this song and feeling like I want to read Xanth and wishing I were in Upstate New York.

It’s been almost two years since I was in Upstate New York. And that really depresses me. I was so jealous of my mother and sister for getting to be there while I was trapped in practice boot-camp. I would really like to be able to go this summer and sit on the rocks of the Black River and hide from non-relatives in my aunt/uncle’s cabin and be attacked by deerflies while running through the rock quarry. I have especially strong memories of that last one.

I’m weird and anxious and held up by very little, which I’m sure has something to do with the fatigue.

Aaaaah, don’t read this entry. I’m just randomly writing because I’m feeling listless and weird. Read my earlier entries. They’re happy or at least…amusing (to me).

This Is A Story About A Turkey

listening to: buffalo daughter – silver turkey

This song rocks. This song makes the album worth far more than the $7 I paid for it (Record Collector, I

I want a Moog.

But seriously, for an early early birthday present to myself, I’m going to treat myself to this. I think it would probably aid in shutting up a good deal of my music-related whining. Well, not music-theory whining. That will never cease unless I unlearn the music theory.

Aaah. Should I learn to play the guitar? I want to, but there are reasons I haven’t tried to, yet so far. They consist mostly of these two things: (1) six strings and (2) tuned in fourths. I’ll just quote Tori Amos for the reason it wouldn’t happen in the first place: “I’ve never played the guitar, except throwing it against the wall cause it was pissed off I couldn’t play it”. Exactly. I love you, Tori Amos.

Adventures In Monday

listening to: number girl – trampoline girl

One of the two dining halls, and the one located closest to my dormitory, has been under construction for some time. It’s really been a sad state of a dining room for the entire year so far, in this cramped, dark space where there’s not really room to sit if you come at the wrong time. With the confined space, I had no idea so much of the building was actually under construction. I also really had no idea when the new area would officially open. I was figuring it would open at the beginning of next year.

Figures I was wrong. This morning I walk into what I normally know as the dining hall, and realize that there is no card-swiper. The room is still open and there are people eating, so it was needless to say that I was completely confused. I realized they must have opened some new part of the dining area, but I honestly had no idea where it was. Some girls saw I was completely confused, and told me “it’s that way”, and pointed at what I understood to be the wall. Um, dumb kids, that’s a wall. What are you talking about. But I was too weirded out to ask them further, so I nodded at them and decided to find the place on my own. To no avail. I wandered around for a minute or two, noting that they were staring at me like I was some kind of moron. Which, I guess was accurate, since I felt and more than likely looked like one. Confused and frustrated, I was about to give up and ask somebody who could actually tell me how to get to the new place with more than pointing to a wall. Jackie had noticed I’d come in and was looking confused. So she got up and actually led me to the place (which you completely cannot see from the hallway you supposedly enter it). It looks a lot like Hillcrest. Same food, but the shiny-ness of the new area improved the experience, I suppose. Anyway, yeah. That was my adventure for the morning.

Theory was fine. I had to reiterate points made during class before the end of our 50-minute period. I felt smart.

Piano angers me so much. I don’t mind that people don’t understand material, but the blatant lack of attention being paid to the material in the first place kind of explains that. What’s so aggravating is that our TA isn’t really handling our class too well. She’s one of the sweetest people I’ve met, but the class walks all over her. Really, too nice. She got to me privately to listen to my harmonization, and she tried to make small-talk with me before I played. I made every attempt in the world to give her my most blatant message of “GET ON WITH IT”, but I think she was too concerned with actually making sure she got small-talk in, and just took me for being in a bad mood. Exchange:

TA: “Hi Talia, I’m going to listen to you play now”

Me: “Alright”

TA: “But…first of all, you look so tired”

Me: “Yeah, I’m a little tired”

TA: “Have you been sleeping well?”

Me: “I’m getting less than I should, but I’m okay” ( <--has been averaging 4 hours per night for 3 weeks and wants to die, but refuses to make small-talk when she should be playing a test)
TA: “Oh my! Don’t drink too much coffee or anything! That won’t help”

Me: “I won’t” ( <--hates coffee but won't elaborate because she wants to PLAY HER TEST)
TA: “Will you be able to go to bed early tonight?”

Me: “Yeah” ( <--again, has not been sleeping and will probably not sleep, but WANTS TO PLAY HER FRIGGIN TEST)
TA: “Well good. Now, for the test…”

Yeah. It’s like this every time. It drives me insane. And she’s so nice. I can’t just be like “you’re too freaking nice! yell at us!”. We just waste SO MUCH TIME. She never gets to all of the class because she’s busy being nice to students who were too lazy to do work outside of class.

Oh well. So is life. I should really have tried to pass out of group piano II.

Onward, to excerpt class and…sigh…orchestra.

Good luck with tech week, all you Les Miz people!!

The Velocity Of Time Turns Her Voice Into Sugar Water

listening to: cibo matto – sugar water (acoustic)

I’m definitely blogging and definitely not doing some Japanese homework that’s definitely due by the end of tomorrow. That’s alright, though, I guess.

I have nothing to blog about, though. Except for maybe how restless I am and how I want summer now and I how I don’t think I like college all-in-all even though I know that deep-down college is alright and I’m doing well and such. And…interestingly enough, I’ve been thinking about high school and crap and…I realize now that I was so lazy. I may have complained, and sure I did a lot of youth symphony stuff, but I NEVER cared about school-work. This is extremely different from now, where I’m spending time and effort and…it shows. The feeling is gratifying. Scholastically, I really like college. I like have interesting work. I would never go back to high school, even when thinking about the nostialgic stuff I miss.

And, yeah. I’m currently complaining to people about social stuff. Like, Justin and I are discussing the following: computers owning our souls, not wanting new friends because people are stupid, college scholastically. We ended with the following:

Talia: okay

Talia: so, this being said, if we ever end up in the same neck of the woods, let’s hang out and not let our computers own our souls

Justin: okay

Justin: it’s a deal

Talia: or not make new friends if we don’t want to, because we’re too good for new friends

Justin: ::shakes on it::

Uh Huh. We’re cool.

Now we’re talking about how we’re both horrible people because we use other people’s weaknesses to feed out own confidence in ourselves. But I think everybody does that to some extent. Knowing that there are other people who aren’t as capable as yourself make you feel good about yourself and what you do. I know that for a fact. But it’s not like a serious ego/arrogant/obvlivious state or anything. Or else I would have thought I actually stood for something amongst the cellists in CYSO, but they scared the crap out of me.

Well, I’ll end this entry on the following note…

Talia: oooh….a latin version of ‘about a girl’. now i don’t even remember why i was in a weird mood in the first place *dances*

I Should Be Arrested For My Emotional Stunts

listening to: bjork – i go humble

Mm. Currently sitting here making a Number Girl mix for my sister. I think she may like them. And…in the case that she doesn’t, I suppose it was worth the effort, just to see. Plus, who doesn’t like getting CDs in the mail from their siblings?

So, today I slept in. And then I sat around and went between watching Futurama and playing Tales of Phantasia. This was followed by rehearsing Dvorak for a few hours at Voxman with the quintet. I suppose the rehearsal went well. Everybody’s always really flighty, and I’m slightly irked by how…hard to work with the violin GRAD students are. It was kind of uncomfortable at first today, because nobody had any idea how or what to rehearse, and I felt like I was the one who kept trying to instruct and moderate and…I shouldn’t be allowed to tell grad-students anything! Anyway, I do like everybody in the quintet quite a lot, so it wasn’t that bad, and I felt that even if we didn’t have quite the ideal direction or focus, we did get a lot done, so hopefully Beth won’t guilt us right into the floor again at our next coaching. In any case, I’m looking forward to chamber-music 13-mile-island this summer. Whoowhee!

So overall, I only truly had to encounter four people today. It was excessively nice. Mostly because people…you know…have this tendency of driving me several varieties of crazy.

I also did something artsy and took a “running tour” of the UofI campus with my camera. I walked the route that I always go running and took pictures along the way. I have to admit that I love almost everything about the campus here, and especially the little route I’ve made for myself when I go running, so it was fun, even if it took forever. Hopefully I can get them posted soon, because well…I’m a nerd.

Arg. Music geek response to that comment string to come soon. I’m just oh-so-lazy.

Also, while on the subject of music geekiness, I am a fan of distributing music among friends. Would any blog-readers like a completely random and crazy music mix? I specialize in completely random and crazy. I can guarantee it would be good. Anyway, yeah. Just leave a comment or something if you do, and I promise I’ll send one to you or track you down when school gets out (um, hehe, dear Michelle, I’m remaking yours since I’ve discovered new crap. Please please please remind me to send it to you. Please?)

All The Modern Things Have Always Existed

listening to: bjork – modern things (union chapel w/brodsky quartet)

I think that perhaps today a good amount of my burnt-out and lazy tendencies came back to give me a decent ass-kicking. Theory wasn’t too bad, though I did struggle a lot with one part of the homework (damn you unfamiliar tonicization to VI!!!!1!). Then I kind of strained to finish a rough-draft of a speech for Japanese that didn’t even make it out of my room because I am an idiot. It’s not a huge problem, but more one of those situations in which I was desperate to turn in the work because I put a good deal of effort into finishing it.

Japanese itself was actually one of the highlights of my day. We’re using causative-passive form, which is kind of…difficult. But anyway, we partnered up and played “jan ken pon” (or…as Nakagawa-sensei informed us, “jan ken poi” *was unaware*), and then winner got the make the loser do crazy things, so both people could report using causative-passive what had happened. Basically, we got to see Nakagawa-sensei and other students do some particularly amusing things. Kempf-san and I were boring and lazy and didn’t really get past singing and dancing (I sang the Trogdor song).

After Japanese I high-tailed it to seminar, where I played the second movement of Shostokovich. And…augh. I mean, I played alright. As well as could be expected without any opportunity to even touch my cello before playing in front of an audience. I got some good productive comments from Amy and Hannah, too, which was nice. Overall things about more musical concepts (use of vibrato and overall shape of piece). But…one thing I knew I was going to mess up was entrances. There were three places where the piano has quite a few measures alone and then cello comes in, and I definitely didn’t know the accompaniment well enough to come in properly. With the combination of most of the measures before the cello entrance sounding the same to me and Hikari taking some rubato (not saying it wasn’t lovely. It just made me panicky and unsure of exactly where the beat was, especially in front of an audience), I definitely had trouble placing where I was supposed to come in. At one point, I knew I had come in a measure early, and I had hoped Hikari had noticed it, too. Willing to risk feeling as though I’d done something unprofessional for a small performance, I turned my head and whispered “sorry”. I thought she’d caught that I’d screwed up and found me, having a score and being a solid accompanist. However, Tony was last to comment, and the first words out of his mouth were “know the score”, and pointed out that we’d been a measure off of eachother for nearly a page. I. Felt. So. Stupid. I didn’t believe I’d actually let myself try and perform something when I was unprepared in an aspect as important as knowing the accompaniment. It’s one of those little things that completely ruins my outlook on a performance. I think I’ve really learned to take constructive criticism about my playing. In fact, for god sakes, I WANT that criticism. It’s important to me in so many ways and I don’t feel I get enough. But…this is just one of those things that is on a different level. A level of “why the hell wouldn’t you know the score?! Maybe it’s stupid of me to feel so irresponsible for this, because everybody else was extremely understanding and “nobody even noticed, so it’s expected you wouldn’t have gotten back on” about it but…still. Yeah.

Then in our chamber coaching, our group was quasi-chewed out for being irresponsible in learning a new piece. We’re now playing a bass quintet by Dvorak which is super-busy and complicated, and in less than a month decide we want to play it in final concert. Our coach was subtly appalled at our lack of practice-time, score (which is a requirement for the class), and a number of other things. I felt guilty for that, too. So I’m going to end up buying the score ASAP. Other people say they’ll buy it, too, but “after pay-day” or “eventually”. And…I was already sort of frustrated enough at myself for not being more responsible in terms of practicing/rehearsing, as well as other people for just…not caring about playing this piece (admittedly I think our first-violinist is way too busy/possibly overwhelmed by the part). Yeah. Just…not a pleasant day.

Orchestra sucked, too. Will didn’t play because his arm was bothering him, so he turned pages for me. That was awfully nice. I really like my stand-partner.

My day turned around immediately after orchestra, however, upon discovery that Andy had brought all of Neil Gaiman’s “1602” for me to borrow. Just…aah!! Andy is TEH r0x0rs!

Then I had a lovely dinner with Suzanne at Hillcrest. Truly, truly, it was nice.

Phaedra burnt me all of Futurama yesterday evening! Heart!!! Yeah. We spent a while sitting around talking, which was fun. Topics of conversation ranged from Shakespearean insults to Penny Arcade to Disney World. So anyway, I’ve been watching tidbits of Futurama here and there, since last night. From this I decided that my manner of asking people to be quiet during rehearsals should be “Please shut your noise-hole”.

Response to all of the music-responses is forthcoming and shall be posted soon.

If It Sounds Good, It Is Good

listening to: hooverphonic – jackie cane

I think there should be some official rule that bans me from blogging any time in which I cannot type or think in complete sentences. I must have deleted each one of those paragraphs and started over again, for the entry below, before I published it.

Having suffered through an extremely frustrating bout of creative restlessness earlier in the week, I began doing something excessively (a) nerdy (b) obsessive (c) possibly helpful or (d) all of the above. I began writing down the rhythmically engaging aspects of music that I enjoy, and really trying to assess on paper what pleases my ears and what direction I might like to go in, myself. So far it has been extremely helpful to me in thinking up bass-lines and rhythmic/tempo things. The things I wrote down are pretty specific, but I’m also thinking of adding general ideas to the list, because there is no one-set way that I like my rhythm, obviously. I’m open to new and exciting things.

Following this rhythmic list, I’m planning on a melodic, melodic+rhythmic, and texture list. Really, I’m not just doing this because I’m desperate to feel like I’ve started some process for creating my own music. I’m doing it more because I know I have an advantage in that I can hear stuff, thanks to perfect pitch and whatnot. And…I’ve never paid attention to what about music I find so attractive before. Generally, I’m very interested in how people other than myself hear music. I think that if I can tackle my own tastes and expectancies, it might also be one step closer to understanding how I listen to music.

I’m actually having fun doing this, as well. At first I hesitated to sit there and write down legitimate crap about music because I know that sometimes when I over-analyze what’s going on, I go completely crazy and end up hating the analysis and the music more than I do end up learning or enjoying it. But this is somehow interesting and productive and…yeah.

What is sort of annoying is that I have started analyzing all of my favorite music and songs by legitimate theoretical techniques that I am learning. That is one part of music theory that I was afraid would invade some part of my listening habits. I mean, it’s very interesting/revealing to know what chords are being played everywhere and how the progressions work and what is theoretically correct or just random fun crap, but at the same time I kind of miss just sitting back and going “Ah, music in its simplicity”.

After all, as Duke Ellington once said, “If it sounds good, it is good”.

I’m curious. Do any of you lovely readers out there think about how you listen to music?

I Go From Day To Day I Know Where The Cupboards Are

listening to: tori amos – hey jupiter (dakota mix)

I think this should be named the Talia Communication Fallout Week. I’m just…agh. I don’t like talking. I don’t like typing. AIM is annoying. I’d say I’m only just now taking quality part in the chat, for the first time in a while. College is full of people and I want them all to go away. I can’t even seem to talk regularly to my friends with ease. I feel strained and annoying when I try. If you’ve tried talking to me this week, am I ever sorry for you. Try again some other time.

I don’t think the quality of my school-day helped my will to communicate with people. In music theory I made something of an attempt at attentiveness, but found that for some reason, bass-lines and part-writing were more likely to put me to sleep than engage my mind this morning.

I don’t remember much else about the day until orchestra where…oh my god, I thought I might give up on life entirely. We’re rehearsing Carmen. But…so inefficiently. We have singers now, and since each main role is being played by two people, we have to rehearse each number twice and…aaah! Like, we did Habanera twice in a row last Monday and I believe my brain ceased to function entirely by the end of the rehearsal. But yeah. Inefficient rehearsal, most definitely. Plus, the people behind me were talking like there was nothing else that mattered. I actually made several attempts at subtly giving them my Genetic Glare of Disapproval, but alas, they never noticed.

Haa… I’m evil. No wonder I am disapproved of. *shi–n* Oh well. Tra-la-la…

This is a sort of random topic but…after meeting and observing so many people in a freakin’ huge university like this one, it’s something I feel strongly enough to put here: I resolve never to end up dating idiots. Seriously. Some of the people I have met. Just…wow. People with no aspiration or goals. People who seem to enjoy boasting their failures. People who don’t take life seriously at all, but end up living in their own lazy and directionless world. Honestly. I have trouble making conversation sometimes because I’m just so…sad but full of contempt, having worked my tail pretty hard and having to pretend to be amused by random tales of failing classes or drunken skirmishes. Just…aah! And…by the above statement, I’m not implying that I’d date just anybody (quite the opposite), or that I’d ever contemplate idiots. More that I’m resolving not to give into complete loneliness or desperation if it ever comes to that. I’d rather just be…by myself. Also, it never fails to amaze me how many girls I see dating exactly this type of person. Arrg. If anybody remembers why I said that “boys annoy me” several entries back, this is why.

Yeah. Sleep and I have apparently given up on each other. Maybe I’ll just stay up and do music theory tonight. Or something.

You Take A Walk And You Try To Understand

listening to: rem – crazy

Almost finished with chapter 12 of Koucha Ouji. It’s still rather boring, but things are at least livening up a little bit. There’s actually a drunken riot in this chapter. From a character we wouldn’t expect. We can count on Assam to handle the situation well. Kyaha!

I guess it’s good that the prospect of the whole series coming to a close looming over my head isn’t affecting my will to translate it. Admittedly it was at first. I was moping for a while. “What’s the point? Stupid manga”.

I had hoped to go to a recital, but my nap definitely killed that plan. Oh well. I’ll just have a fun weekend of sitting through three recitals per day.

I feel like such a lazy bum right now.

What’s sad is that most of me is saying “I’m learning to accept this” about now.

<–Dumb Kid

listening to: dismemberment plan – pay for the piano

Yeah. Apparently I failed to realize that there was chamber seminar, today, and simply did not show up. I don’t knooow. I always have to run straight from Phillips to Voxman whenever we have chamber seminar, and since we’d had it last week, I was under the impressed we didn’t have it this week. But then the schedule is just so random. We’ll have it one week and not have it for the next two, and then we’ll have two in a row and….yeah. I never know these things, because I didn’t start off in the class and get all the cool information and schedules and things that other people did. Oh well.

I’m really effing tired. But if I nap now, it’s quite possible that I won’t be able to sleep later. … Then again, I probably won’t be able to sleep later whether or not I nap now.

It’s decided. Sleep.