Unbalanced Artsy Fartsy

listening to: tori amos – all the girls hate her

Yeah. Um, I saw Mona Lisa Smile with Miriam. Don’t do it. It was like…a very unstable balance of chick-flick and wanna-be artsy fartsy movie. Buuuut, I like Julia Stiles. And that one girl. And Tori Amos was in it for like two minutes, and I realize that this will sound weird, but she’s hot!

Anyway, I didn’t enjoy it too terribly. It was really unbalanced, and random, and you just sort of kept wondering if it was going to be over soon. I did sort of enjoy following the stories of some of the girls, but…well…I dunno. It wasn’t worth it. Oooh, there was a girl who was supposed to play the cello (the cello was really nice. And so was the over-dub, honestly), but did a horrible job faking. I was insulted. My mom says that in Master and Commander, the captain and some other guy play the violin and cello, and the faking for that as awesome. Sometimes I think that’s what I want to do. Be a professional faker.

Anyway, yeah. We went to Dairy Queen before that, and I recognized two of the guys working there as people I went to a lot of elementary school with, and then later junior high. Aaand, like, the one who took my order actually recognized me and went “Hey, Talia. Right?” and I was like “yeah” and remembered his name and whatnot. And he was all nice and friendly and smiley and…it was just weird because he used to be a complete ass. It was weird.

Aaah, my dad is whining at me to get off the damn computer! Nyaaah!

But, wait. I just looked at my grades, and I completely rock! I got five A’s and two B’s. In music theory, I actually got a B+. That “+” warms my heart to music theory so much! I never ever expected to do that well in the beginning, but look what happened!

I actually made the Dean’s list! I’m just…I don’t know. My grades don’t reflect my feelings towards my college situation, but it really does feel good to see all of this after a somewhat hellish first semester. It makes me want to go back to school, if anything, just to get into the next semester and begin the process of getting it over with. For sidenote, I have suspicions that Japanese may be claiming my head for hanging on its wall. This is why I need to study now.

WOO, COLLEGE!

Adventurous

listening to: interpol – leif erikson

I went out with Megan, earlier today, so we could look at books and such. I drove, which is kind of a rare occurance, though this is the second time within a four-day period that it’s happened. Anyway, I was in the right lane, and a car in front of me had just turned right, so I pulled up to wait for the light to turn green. And that’s when I look in my rear-view mirror to see this monster SUV coming up on me rather quickly, and thinking “Oh jeez. They’re going to hit me”. And sure enough, they did. Not hard at all. Just a tap. But still. Way to brake. I like how the thing had a giant fender-bender in the front, too.

So I turned around in my seat and peered to see if I could maybe signal this person to follow me into the next convenient parking lot, but this woman got out of the car (the light was still red), came up to my rolled-down window, and asked as though it were the most casual thing ever “Did I hit you?”. I wanted to give her my “…” look and say “Naaaw, you just failed to brake in time and thus your bumper collided into mine”. Anyway, we pulled over into a bank parking lot, exchanged numbers, and drove off. And Megan copied her license plate number down. I think it was funny that this woman’s last name was “Poor”.

Really, there’s no damage at all. Like, some of the black from her bumper scraped off onto mine, but that was it. My mother thought it was funny. My dad thought it was less than funny, but wondered if I’d asked her if she knew she was a bozo. I feel bad for the Audi, which is falling apart in so many ways, I really don’t know how much longer it’s going to live.

The sad thing about all of this was that when it was all over, Megan and I both agreed that we now had something to blog about.

The blogging of this event has been to reitterate that drivers are idiots and shouldn’t be allowed SUVs. Honestly. People are just that careless. I really like driving, until I have to do it around people who aren’t in touch with their brake pedals or turn signals or just have general road rage. These three things cover a majority of drivers, which is hardly surprising to me.

Take This Straight Out To The Coyotes And The Wild Dogs

My parents are watching something with a giant banjo. I am intrigued. I want to watch it too.

Ugh. Perhaps I won’t cover what died last night. Jamie did a fair job of RotK summary in her blog. I will just say that I almost cried from the excessive hobbit angst ( <–wasn’t paying attention and first typed “pirate angst”).

Well, okay. I will cover part of what died last night. I went to Rob’s house, kind of later than I had intended, but I ended up there, nonetheless. I walked in on Rob, Justin and Matt thinking of band names. I made a suggestion that caused Matt to roll around on the floor laughing for nearly two minutes. We then ate food, played with kitchen utensils, and thought up a really amusing idea for a comedic skit involving a hand appearing from nowhere and handing the characters completely useless objects. Example: “Hmmm. I need something to cut this sandwich with…” *hand appears with telephone* “Telephone?! But…but…hmm” *proceeds to cut sandwich with telephone wire*. I think one had to be there to experience the full hilarity of it all.

Then we played Hero Quest, which was also amusing. I mean, I think if you actually consider the game from a non-geek but still intelligent point of view, it’s amusing just for what it is. But then Rob kept smelling Justin. And Matt kept putting spells in his pants. And then Laurie stole a child gargoyle and gave it to me which I gave to Matt, who put it in his pants. We also decided upon the Pokemon pronunciations of our names. Then Rob forced me out of his house (literally), and I drove home and composed something of a song.

Yeah. Please pork the granite monkey.

Today I woke up, turned on my cell-phone, and found a message on my cell-phone, somebody asking for Don (Dawn?) and wondering about decorating. This is wrong number # three. Emily says whenever people somehow mis-dial her at her cell phone, they always speak a foreign language she can’t identify.

Then I heard from my new room-mate (yes. I have a new room-mate).

Then I drove out to the freaking middle of nowhere to visit my good friend, Emmy. It was excellent. We tromped out in the fields for a while, and then played cello/violin duets (although I duly note that I suck at sight-reading like a flaming monkey). I ate dinner at her house with her family, and all we talked about was music and musicians and teaching and…I don’t know. Now I want to go out and blast something loud and senseless from my speakers. Anyway, it was good and fun and I enjoyed it so much. Especially the driving. I love driving. Heart.

After sitting around a Jamie and Megan’s and translating about four pages of manga, I’m sitting here and talking to Rob about things that are probably only going to depress me later, thus distracting me from my blogging and regular chatting. I think I need to go and read manga and play mandolin and make myself feel good.

This Is Not The Greatest Song In The World, No.

listening to: tenacious d – tribute

I hate this computer. Everything was fine, before. All of the problems were cute and quirky and endearing until they resulted in the loss of maybe four paragraphs of quality blogging. That is going too far. Too too far.

Anyway, it’s late. So I’m not going to do all of that again. I’ll just make a blogging er…blog-me list for tomorrow.

BLOG-ME:RotK

Koucha Ouji

Stuff at Rob’s House

“Play the Best Song in the World…Or I’ll Eat Your Soul”

Tired. And KO lusty. Must read KO.

Kekkonshitekure, Taiko–er I Mean, Talia

listening to: bach christmas oratorio w/shreiking bird accompaniment

I can spell…stuff. No. No, sadly I really can’t. Help?

I played a wedding today, which was actually a wedding I enjoyed playing. Most weddings I play are these huuuuge, occasionally tacky weddings for young couples with about five million family members. We usually play the same sort of processionals and recessionals and I usually find myself so bored that I want to skewer my eyes onto my cello bow. It’s usually with a quartet that is confused and nervous or outdoors in the wind without clothes-pins or anything. I’m usually paid somewhere in the vacinity of $50-$100 for these nasties, sometimes with a reception and sometimes not.

This wedding was not such. It was a tasteful Catholic wedding of an elderly couple. The groom wore a nice suit. The bride didn’t wear a traditional wedding dress. She didn’t even wear white. But her garb was formal and tasteful. It took place in a huge church, but the room used was a small alter, seating maybe thirty people. There was no best man or bridesmaids. We played until the bride walked, the thing started, and we played a recessional. They asked for all the music to be baroque. It was amazing. I’ve never played an easier, more personal, or lighthearted a wedding. Followed by an hour in a restaurant in Bloomington. For this, I was paid $170. I am so fond of this wedding, I think I’m going to buy a Gameboy Advance with some of the money. Hee!

I think I should take a moment to explain what having been to twenty some-odd weddings of people I don’t know has done to me. First of all, I end up playing some very religious weddings, just because…weddings in Central Illinois. And I listen to the sermons because I’m curious and always find myself with really weird feelings about the things being said. I always note that…this kind of thing would not for me. I think this only helped add to my reasons for never wanting to enter matrimony, which I know sounds stupid. Wedding after wedding, I just found myself more frustrated for feeling so alienated and in disagreement with almost everything about them. Plus the fact that I had never ever been close to or even known much about the families involved. They were so impersonal to me.

So finally, one day last August, I got into a weird conversation about this and how I felt I could never be married, for numerous reasons of religion and how marriage is just a legal agreement and…I don’t know. Anyway, the reply of the person-on-the-other-end was to ask if I’d ever been to a wedding of someone I was close to. The answer to which was obviously “no”. They explained that my view of marriage was rather impersonal in itself, and that it didn’t take a lot into account. It has taken me a long time to realize they were exactly right, and that I do appreciate more of this thing called marriage than I had thought. This wedding today only helped in that respect. I’m different than a lot of people, right I am. So naturally I should be entitled to live my life as differently from the masses, as I see fit. Whether that means having a quiet and under-dressed wedding, or not having a wedding at all, so be it.

(Of course…I must mention that I really fancy the outdoor alter at Funk’s Grove. I mean, not as a person to be had, but as a nice gig/wedding place, obviously. Shut it up, you.)

That was…odd, I know. Something people don’t always think about, I’m sure. But then I’ll bet most people don’t go to an average of eight weddings a year that have nothing to do with them. It really gets you thinking, sometimes.

My parents rented Freaky Friday. What has the world come to.

"TAIKO KA?!"

Flail flail flail!!!

So much flailing! But there’s so much to flail about!!

Flaily item #1 — I went to Mitsuwa with Jamie and Jenny today. That in itself left me happy. The fact that I got to eat Japanese food and blow money on HanaKimi 21, Bleach 1, HanaYume 1, and Shiina Ringo’s new single only heightened this feeling. I became flaily upon reading the new chapter of Koucha Ouji, in which…hee! Nevermind! Just….HEE!! HanaKimi was cute, too. But…sorry. At this point, I’m far more interested in Koucha Ouji. The new single is awesome, too.

Flaily Item #2 — Rachel has evidently left a comment for every entry appearing on the main page of my blog. I have never been so giddy over comments before, in my life. Seriously. So I’m going to be really nerdish and reply to all of them but the last one (in reverse order). So…

–You may be talking to past Talia, but I assure you that past (as well as present) Talia appreciates the thoughts and…stuff.

–Hee! I’m glad I’m useful for something! Yay, not being dead!

–I do think I’m cool for living by a river. So there. And I also think you should start referring to “creeks” as “cricks”, because it’s fun and frustrating for some people!

–Yay, pointless but awesome.

–I thought we made an agreement that you were going to stay out of my bed. Sheesh!

–It must be frustrating to be a person who actually is funny when they’re mad. Just because they’ll never be taken seriously. Hee.

–I’ve been thinking about doing the “page of all my friends” thing. Unfortunately, I may just do this without pictures, since I don’t seem to have pictures of a lot of people. PS — isn’t Renata cool?

–Bucknell Quartet Program, eh? Is this something I should think about doing as well?

–Opposite what you might have read, I actually did type that the way I intended it, as “suck to talk to”. Oh, you and your mockery of me.

–If you can improve your lj habits (which were actually pretty good), then I’ll get you a blog for next Christmas.

–I’d like to see you do that. Yeah.

–Could you leave a comment every time you see some spelling or typing error? It keeps me on my toes! Whee, Dan Quayle!

Hee! That was fun!

Flaily item #3 — Justin started a blog!!! That makes me so happy!!! I told him he should, and he did!! You have to understand that I think every one of my friends should be required to keep a blog/livejournal/something, because it’s interesting, but mostly because I’m selfish and like to read everybody’s blogs three times a day.

Mmm. Er, stuff…

Which One Doesn’t Belong?

Talia (the blonde one) and the family wish somebody a merry merry Christmas. I’ve yet to determine who my dad took this picture for.

I have determined from my referalls that Nanako Matsushima either (a)is pregnant (b)was pregnant, or (c)is rumoured to be pregnant.

Rachel and I have determined that my family is the Midwestern counterpart of her family.

Megan has helped me to determine that my parents are running a secret boot shop behind my back.

Christmas day! 24 hour review!

I became substantially frustrated yesterday, for I’m in the midst of reading The Chronicles of Narnia. And now I remember why I’ve read the entire series but the third book, The Horse And His Boy. My copy of the book goes from page 134 straight to Chapter 12, aka page 168. It carries on from that point, and when it gets to page 197, it starts again at page 168. Aaaah! Have you ever been monumentally into a book and then been unable to finish it for a reason like this!? AAH!

Last night was good. I listened to the Bach Christmas Oratorio and decorated the tree with family. Then we ate potato pancakes, kielbasa, and applesauce before coffeecake and tea. We’d planned on lighting the menorah, but there is little one can do when there are no Channukah candles in the house. Sad ( <–Jewtholic, Cathojew, either). Then I danced around in my room while listening to the White Album. This was followed by watching the Nutcracker and making banana bread.

I slept fairly poorly, but it doesn’t matter when you’re waking up on Christmas morning! And I got stuff! I got: the fuzziest bathrobe in existence, cuddle duds, a book about practicing, a couple CDs, and then socks and chocolate, which were the only things I really desired. My aunt sent me HP #2 (yaaay, we’re making progress), and some really rock-some prints. The best present exchange had to have been between my sister and I, though. I got her the boxed set of Indiana Jones on DVD. She freaked out and dropped it when she saw what it was. She got me the Beatles “Let It Be…Naked”, and then cello suites 1-3 by Benjamin Britten, which I’ve been obsessing over for the last two months, but have had no recording of. I freaked out and gave her a big hug over that. Mmm, music. Apparently there’s more to my Christmas present from her, though. She’s going to get me the collection of “Kabuki” in graphic novel form when she can get to it. HEART.

I honestly thought it would be cool to set up a blog for Erica. I would really like to see what happens with that, because I think it could be really interesting to read. In any case, I didn’t have the time or patience to do all of this when I had the brilliant idea for it last night, but I’m thinking birthday, perhaps. March.

Anyway, I smell Christmas dinner! Quack!

Little Eiffel Stands In The Archway

Somebody just called our house asking for a Boot Shop. I don’t even know what to think about that. Yeah, so…

listening to: pixies – alec eiffel

The moment this song began playing, I wanted to blog. I don’t know what it is about it, but I heart the Pixies.

Sometimes, especially when I get into stupid speculative moods that make me quasi depressed, I crave loud incoherance. I don’t even know why. It makes me feel a little less crazy in the head. Like other people out there definitely feel the same way I do, and actually have the ability to make music out of it, unlike me. Shared meaning.

My moods strictly direct me toward certain music. Things are all Pixies and IRS R.E.M. right now. And then weird crap like Pizzicato Five and Cibo Matto. This is good for embarassment and anxiety, I think because it reminds me of who I am and how I really feel. Especially after long periods of faking being nice to people (I’ve talked about this before), I just like to expose myself to what really defines me. This is weird and hard to explain. I’m sure everybody knows what I mean. Example, for some reason, it’s hard for me to listen to anything I’ve discovered since I’ve been at Iowa, because it hardly feels like the real me is the me that likes that music. Geeze this sounds stupid. But music is such a big part of how I think and function and move through life that I thought I would give it a small shot at explanation. This will be the next task.

Damn I hate when I get all speculative. But I haven’t been booking at all since before I left school, so I think some of that crap is leaking into the blog. Oh well. It’s not like I have anything to fear, or really, anything I especially want to hide from readers. I worry about what I should censor, but I wonder what would happen if suddenly everything I never would have dreamt of publishing magically showed up in my blog. I wonder if anybody would even notice the difference.

Shutting up now. Deciding to blog again later when not feeling stupid and angsty. Rar.

Peachy Keen

Aw. I really wish I had somebody specific in mind to give a blog for Christmas. Blogger, you’re peachy keen. And damn sexy, too.

Hmm. My “I’m home and driving places again” good mood wore off a little last night. I wish I didn’t have the “over-analysis of everything” gene somewhere in me. It can really put a damper on things. Generally, I don’t mind thinking seriously about a lot of things, and I’ve learned how to deal with my own speculation of really pointless things, but there are times when I’d really like to just…not think at all. This is one of those times. The incessant inner dialogue going on rather prevents this from happening, ever. I hate you, conscience. Leave me alone.

I heart blogger, a lot, but one thing I don’t heart is the way the time stamp works. I really liked it when it would leave a mark that I posted at the time I actually clicked “publish”, instead of whenever I opened the blogging window. Sometimes it takes me fifteen or so minutes to blog and it’s no big deal. Other times, it takes nearly and hour, or I’ll just sort of get up and walk away in the middle of a post, come back, and forget to change the time. I like that you have the option of changing it now, but I’m lazy.

Food sounds good right now.

Is She Weird

listening to: hooverphonic – wardrope

I suck to talk to when I’m tired, paranoid, and half-sick. Don’t do it.

Aaah! I want to see RotK soo badly! And, I know it’ll be awesome to see it with friends, but part of me thinks I’m silly for waiting this long just because I want to see it with people. I mean, this is one instance where obsession wins over the need to be social while seeing the movie. Matt H. and I were talking about how we were dying to go see it, during Sounds of Christmas, and made wild prospective plans to try and see it after the concert! It never happened (obviously), because the concert ended some time after nine, and Matt had to leave early the next morning, but planning it out was fun. Matt is still under-age (and by under-age I mean 16), and we discovered that we both have this extreme-paranoia thing about breaking laws and defying authority, apparently, so we were actually talking about specifically what we would say when the police officer stopped me for my unruly driving and inquired about the age of the passenger of my car. It was v. amusing. Ah. And to think Matt could have been my stand-partner in Youth Symphony last year. Sigh.

Aah. My Christmas shopping magically finished itself. Although there are still a few minor things I need to run out and get. Rather difficult to do without a car. Speaking of cars, the Audi ate my Enon CD! Rar!

I had the weirdest dream last night, that it was my final rhetoric speech, but that I had completely changed my topic from my original proposal, and that I didn’t even have an outline written out. So she didn’t let me present, and my grade dropped to a C. But then Enon (seriously, they are a cool-looking band. I don’t know why) was suddenly there, and we watched them play, and when they were done, the lead-singer, John, handed me his guitar and said “here”, and so I ended up magically knowing the chords to “Window Display” and playing with them. Brain, I don’t understand you.

I’m going to go running. Because, wow, it’s been at least two weeks. I love love love running, though, and I’m definitely feeling better. Although, honestly, my left ear is still monstrously plugged. It’s screwing up the balance of my inner ear. I keep veering left and almost walking into things. Haha, I played a gig at BroMenn last night, and almost attempted taking the escalator up to the second floor with my cello. I had a brief image of bad death, though, so I opted for the elevator.

Hashiru.

It’s Something From Your Childhood You’re Thinking Don’t Be Frightened

There’s definitely a great feeling about sitting down and reading an entire book in one afternoon that I love. I tried reading for those amounts of time during school, but it was hard between busy-work and my room not being a very reading-friendly place (I am going to change this next semester with the insertion of a director’s chair, or some comfy other thing for sitting on).

Anyway, this is what I did this afternoon. I read “The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe” in it’s entirety. What an enjoyable book. The allegorical ideas of the book are extremely present to me reading it now, as opposed to when I first read it maybe 8 years ago. It changes a lot for me as a reader, now, but in a fascinating way. Also keeping the idea in mind that C.S. Lewis served in the war is very interesting, but that has less to do with the allegory, such as the part with the stone table, and Aslan sacrificing himself in place of Edmund (if this is a spoiler, too bad, why on earth haven’t you read the books?!). Hello, crucifixion of Jesus!

And…yeah. This is just me reading. I wasn’t brought up with any strict ideas of Christian or Jewish religion. I never even went to services or sunday school at the Synagogue like my sister did. I know little of biblical stories or references, except for what I’ve learned in Lit courses or from my own fascination (which is actually a lot. I’m fascinated with a lot of different religions without really applying myself to them, personally). So yeah. I wonder how actual Christians feel about the books.

I have a gig tonight with the ‘ol string quartet. It’ll be fun. I miss them. Heck, I miss any form of chamber music. Sometimes I find myself wistfully remembering the CYSO clarinet quintet. Er, sort of wistfully, I guess.

Yay, stuff!

Treat Your Blog Nicely — Give It A Hug!

State Farm’s Sounds of X-mas yesterday was good. They had me sitting second chair, next to Mrs. Monhardt, the head honcho, herself. Goodie. Bad bowings. But that’s okay. It was a Christmas Concert. One really interesting thing about the concert is the people who are there. There are a lot of older B-N alumni-type people there, and it’s always really cool to see them after so many years of not. Rob, a class-mate and good friend of my sister’s who plays the cello, has been there for the past couple years. The old string quartet does this every year. Emily was there, this year, which was nice since I see her about once a year, now. As I was leaving our morning rehearsal, I found myself following a bassoon player who looked awfully familiar. Then suddenly it hit me: “Hi, you don’t remember me, but you used to give me Math lessons! My dad was also your bassoon teacher. So yeah. Hi.” Bassoon player: “Talia?!”. Stuff like that. I also stumbled across the son of my old cello teacher. Good lord, he’s old. I mean, older. He’s 15, and actually has facial hair, but plays the viola like a mad-man, apparently. You know, when you’re 8, a three-year difference in age is so huge. And then you get older, and it’s not. We actually carried on a kind of nice conversation about pets (since I used to obsess about their black lab/german shephard). I would never have talked to this kid (er…guy…whatever) when I was 8. So yeah. But…man. Facial hair. It’s thrown me off with so many people. Frowl.

So yeah. Sounds of Christmas. I would rather have been doing erm, other things. Specifically one other thing. But this is what happens when you’re an idiot who doesn’t pay attention to…things. Shut it up, me.

We got our Christmas tree, today. That wasn’t particularly fun, to pick one out, since there was very little left to pick from. This is what happens when your family waits to get a Christmas tree until about four days before Christmas. Although, that wasn’t necessarily the case last year. Anyway, we found a pretty nice tree, although it holds nothing to the massive beast of a tree we had last year. Oh well. You’re only so lucky. Mmm. I heart Christmas.

I think my mom is watching Titanic. Are you alright, Mom?

Er *hugs blog*

Grand

Hee. I like it when people I don’t know email me to either a) ask me about stuff or b) tell me something interesting about books or music. Favorite examples of this:

  • Person from SC who emailed me to tell me to tell me I was interesting and a cool musician and made her happy with my involvement in music
  • Person who emailed me over the summer with lists of Japanese books I should read
  • Person who emailed me to say my blog was cool and ask for second (also abandoned) blog address
  • Person who emailed me asking how to shut up Jean-Pierre Jeunet in the Amelie DVD

I don’t know why this stuff makes me happy. I just like random stuff.

Tonight was grand. I ate okonomiyaki with Jamie, Megan and *gasp* Rebecca. And…we were mean to eachother and made up Japanese words, such as “fukoru”, which we all think is funny. Before that, I sat around, listened to loud music in my room, and went shopping with my mother.

Today’s Merriam-Webster word of the day is wassail! That makes me feel so merry and mirth-filled! Tralala!

The Urge Hath Struck

Ah. Home.

It completely confuses me to have to use system 9.1 again instead of OS X. I keep holding my mouse down over the bottom of the screen waiting for the menu bar to bounce up from nowhere. The machine itself is rather laggy, so whenver I sign onto AIM, it won’t come out of lag until every one of my signed on buddies has their own “signing on” noise go off. And…at this point, 800×600 simply baffles me. But I somehow still lurve this computer. Heart.

Yes. I am home. I got myself so worked up for my theory final. The other music major people on my floor did, too. We walked over to Voxman, together, and ended up talking about ways get out of the final. My suggestion was to plead insanity. Well, not even to plead it. Maybe just to stand up and start yelling a lot. Quintin actually offered to pay $20 to the person who could stand up a half-hour into the final and scream.

But then we got our finals, and everything was just fine. A voice-leading problem, ten measures, and a score reduction she actually played. I may not have studied a whole lot, but at this point, studying really isn’t the issue. You either know the stuff or you don’t. Somehow, I did. Yay, me!

Now I am home and being lazy. I always really miss my bed.

Insert Imaginative Ditty Here

listening to: stereolab – diagonals

Bored! Bored bored bored! Somebody save me! Usually I can deal with boredom! But…not this boredom. This is the “waiting-for-theory-final/parental-unit-rescue-service” boredom that I don’t think I can conquer. I’ve half-packed everything. My clothes and such are in order, but everything else I’m taking home is still…wherever it’s been for the past however many weeks. At the same time, I’m really tired, and just about falling asleep as I type this.

I’m just glad I’m not too sick anymore. I still feel strangely woozy, but that is by far better than fever/sinus pain. I’ve been sleeping better, which is definitely a plus. My room-mate informed me that I was humming in my sleep two nights ago, which, while I’m glad knowing I’m musical when I’m sleeping well, really freaks me out. I’m trying to sort of…figure out whether this is a normal thing for me, or if I remember having a specific melody in my head as I was falling asleep (not that I’ll any distinguishing opportunities to tell for certain withi my own ears, haha). Just…yeah. Arg. And I know that I most definitely do compose music in my dreams. I remember once, I could magically play guitar, and I wrote the most fabulous chord progression. And I told myself in the dream “This is a dream! So dammit, don’t forget this progression!”, but I’ve of course I’d forgotten in when I woke up. Sad. Anyway, I’m not a freak or…any…thing.

Elisa was frantically packing yesterday when I visited her. And…she had all this food that wouldn’t fit. So I ended up returning to my room with four Milano cookies, some pretzels, and like a remaining swig of sparkling pear juice. The bottle for the pear juice looks like it should be booze, naturally. Anyway, I’m contemplating actually drinking the remaining swig, because I have to leave soon, and dammit, I recall that it was good!

Nothing else of importance to say. Although I’m going to leave a small reminder for myself to speak highly of the cool sites I link in my entries. I was wondering why I was getting so many random referalls from London Underground, and then I went back and saw that right after I linked them, they linked me back, quoting that I thought the site was “pointless but awesome”, the entry titled “Pointless But Awesome”, and…ahahah, i was amused, but I felt bad, because I think it’s a lot cooler than the way I wrote it in the entry. Especially after really looking through some more archives. Just…yeah. Dear Talia, you’re a jerk.

Life Is Pain

listening to: hooverphonic – jackie cane (live)

Aaah! Why is time passing so slowly?! Maybe it’s because I lost my watch? Maybe it’s because I want to go home? Maybe it’s karma, because I’m not studying for music theory as much as I should be? I have a lot of stuff to do, but I’m not doing it. Maybe that’s it. Pass. Faster. Time.

I visited Laura and Elisa briefly today. They’re leaving for Minnesota very early tomorrow, and Elisa, of course, isn’t coming back next semester. I made her a farwell CD, as I said I might, and…I’ve never gotten such a reaction from giving somebody a mix CD before. Her eyes were shining at me, and she went “aaw” about four times. But that’s okay, that’s why we heart Elisa (that and “BAM BAM CHICKA BAAAAAM”). And…yeah. I burnt Laura my CD of the Roger Kellaway Cello Quartet, which is fab cello jazz. And…yeah. I’m going to miss them and such. Aw, look you guys! I have friends at school!

I dunno. I realize that I’ve basically been living my semester at school in pseudo-isolation (okay, okay, there are a few dear people I talk to via phone or internet, but they are not here. There is a big difference between a few hours a week of talking or typing, and seeing and spending time with. It’s hard). I mean, Miriam’s here, too. But I never really saw Miriam. And sometimes Renata would visit, but I’d never actually see her during these visits. So I have spent three months of my life making small-talk and occasionally having a nice conversation, but never having anyone to connect with. And…it’s lonely. It really is. But I’m alive, and I think I’m better connected with myself? I don’t know. That’s not necessarily a pleasant thing. But maybe I’ve become more honest with myself. I mean, I still get mad and deny things at first, but I feel like I end up fessing up and sort of accepting what is, instead of trying to hold a lot of my own pre-conceived/wished notions. I dunno. Anyway. This means that I really hope I get to spend a lot of time with everybody over break! I miss you all and I guarantee that I’m especially energetic and crazy and entertaining after long periods of…not…being so.

That was long. And kind of stupid. But there you have it.

Mmm. It’s been cold. So the river is half-way iced over. Random sheets of ice just floating down it. I like living in front of a river.

I took lots of fun pictures in Voxman, today. I’ll post them er…when I get back from break. Oh my god. I’m going home. But…that’s in so many hours -_- I want to be home now. And without the really long drive.

As Mike put it, Life Is Pain.

The Talia Is Not Dead…I’m So Glad The Talia Is Not Deeeead!

I guess you could call this a three-day blogging hiatus for the sick. I’ve just generally needed a break from everything, blogging included.

To fill in on what’s happened since the last post…

Sunday was spent in a haze of headache and sinus pain, made special and delirious through fever. There was also an emphasis on trying finish up recital attendence. Minor parts were spent thinking about juries, but very little of this involved practicing. It hurt a lot.

Monday was spent with my body involuntarily trying to cough up most of its major internal organs. Not succeeding. But maan, did it try. I did play a jury, though. It went really well. Well, everything but my first excerpt. I surprised myself with my own creativity and attentiveness-to-musicality-during-performance in Bach. And then I surprised myself with phrasing in Brahms. And then the judges completely surprised me by asking me not to play Shostokovich, with the running overtime and whatnot. I was pleased. I got comment sheets back from all the faculty. Constructive comment sheets give me the warm fuzzies. I played lots of Chrono Trigger.

Today I did very little. Which was called for, because I started out rather down with fever again for a while. The headache was dulled with drugs. The coughing started out pretty badly, but seems to have subsided. I read a lot of blog archives today. And then I started binge-ing on X-Files again (shhhhh!). I’ve also played a lot of Chrono Trigger. I really ought to have been studying for theory. Er, I really ought to be studying for theory.

I read a very short ditty by Philip Pullman. It completely made my day. More warm fuzzies.

Note for today: I think I’ve come to realize that I’m normally a jerk. But when I’m sick, I’m a nonsenseical, judgement-impaired jerk. Whoever deals with me while I’m like this deserves some sort of gold star.

I’m also realizing that I suck. A lot. I apologize for this, as well.

Aw, I want to go on a caper with The Cheat, too!

Miserable

I feel so awful. This is really getting out of hand. I think I’m going to make an appointment with the UI Health Care office, and hopefully get in there tomorrow sometime before or after my cello jury. Ooh…this is so miserable.

Nothing else new. 24-hour quiet hours were supposed to start yesterday. This kept the loud people out of the halls, but really only shoved them into a few rooms, including the one next to mine. These screaming, laughing people, plus this what must be phantom-door that kept slamming and slamming and slamming, helped me to accumulate a grand four hours of sleep.

I saw Eliza this morning while I was walking back from breakfast. She told me that Laura is going to call me today. This is my faint glimmer of happiness for the moment. That there are actual people in the world who care that I am still alive. Maybe she’ll nurse me back to health. Wow, I just had a weird flashback of the part in Anne of Green Gables where Anne is upset that she has imagined Dianna is sick with Scarlet Fever, and she is nursing her back to health, but the tragedy is that she dies. Although, I am certainly not going to die. It’s just…I’ve never been stuck in a wee room in a huge residence-hall and been so sick before.

Aw man. I apologize for the quality of this post, but this really sucks. I just want to sit here and cry like the ten-year-old at heart I really am. Nnnng..

Weird People

listening to: pizzicato five – darlin’ of discotheque

I am still alive. Although I’m not sure how glad for that I really am. Just…bad timing, immune system. Couldn’t have either brought it earlier or later I suppose? And it’s not even that it’s interfering with my schedule or my lack of classes. I’m just…augh. Yes, augh. Augh is what I am.

So I am wallowing in my sickness and my guilt and in a lot of uncomfortable sleep.

And I think that some people ought to know that not blogging for a whole month is like…a blogging no-no. Weekly updates are frustrating to me as a reader, but understandable. Still having no updated entry a month later is like…appalling. Elizabeth, I mean you!! Give your antsy readers something to whet their compulsive-blog-reading tendencies appetites! Teehee =D

And…girl who copied renata’s entries verbatim, I think I need to state that you are weird. I guess it’s alright you seem to think my name is superior enough that other people whose names weren’t originally “Talia” should suddenly be named “Talia”, as well. Yes…er, yes. No. What the hell?! Dude, get a hobby or something!

*whimper*

I am so so so sick.

I hope I don’t die.

But there’s so much stuff I need to get done today. This is awful. I just want to be home in my bed with my mother attending to me, or at least checking in to see that I’m still alive, occasionally.

Aaaaah!

Lachrymae Antiqua

listening to: kronos quartet – early music

Maybe I shouldn’t be blogging while I’m sick. I edited a bunch of grammatical/spelling errors out of that last entry, but a couple of them evaded my editing attempts. Such as “expection”. Expection is not a word. I’m pretty sure I meant “IN-spection”. I’m too generally amused by it to edit it out, though. Yes.

I didn’t go to music theory this morning. It was the first lecture I skipped. I hardly feel bad about it, though, because (a) I feel not-so-great and (b) I usually come out of our theory lectures feeling a lot less secure about music theory than I do upon entering it. Really, now that I think about it, I realize that we get far less done in theory lectures than it seems. I mean, we do a lot of the same voice-leading work, practicing examples over and over again, but occasionally, Nez will go off on tangents about cadences or progressions that have nothing to do with what we are learning. This is where people complain and minds boggle, because even the TAs don’t know if this will be relevent to what we are learning in the near future.

It is usually mornings like that in which my mind wanders. There was one day I recall that the guy sitting in front of me was wearing a Big Ten conference shirt. And this is the only reason I know anything more about Big Ten than only Illinois and Iowa being involved. Such as, there are eleven schools in the Big Ten conference. Not ten. Anyway, my parents thought this was quite hilarious, upon hearing about it during Thanksgiving break.

You know, maybe the only reason I so readily entered music theory strife-mode is because I’ve lived with this subconscious pre-concieved notion that music theory is hell, and the evil of all evils, after hearing parent and sibling horror stories for years before now. But the thing is that I don’t mind it too much. During Thanksgiving break, a good friend of my Dad’s, professional bassoonist, stated that she hated theory, regardless of how interesting it could be. And that got me thinking that maybe I wasn’t in any sort of pain, at all. I will admit that our professor is a little on the crazy side, the homework can be grueling, and that some of the concepts are difficult to grasp until they’ve been worked with enough, but all in all, I find it more interesting than I do painful. I’ve been sitting through my cello lessons recently, just talking to Tony about theoretical structure of Bach. By knowing progression structures, harmonic rhythm, and a bunch of other crap, you can really figure out how to make Bach interesting to play, as well as listen to. You can also be creative with it, and experiment. You have a medium to work with, and that makes a big difference in a player who once was just going to “gut instinct”. Also, if you look at Bach’s theoretical work, you begin to understand just how this man was so brilliant. A theoretical analysis of any piece can be made just as interesting by this. Just being able to give a name to things I like about music is making a different.

So…yeah. < /things nobody else could care about>

I want to play Chrono Trigger.

But I am le tired.

Well, have a nap. THEN FIRE Z MISSILES!!

When I’m Asleep In Cascade Street

listening to: yann tiersen – rue des cascades

I was curious. So I searched the french version of google for Yann Tiersen. I came up with a site that gave lyrics. And…I’d always wondered what Claire Pitchett was singing. I had always been sure it was extremely drawn-out syllables of French. But upon expection, I discovered that the lyrics are thus:

When I’m asleep in Cascade Street

I don’t see anything

When I’m asleep in Cascade Street

I hear nothing

In the cascade you washed me

In the cascade you washed me

When I wake up in Cascade Street

I feel nothing

When I’m asleep in Cascade Street

I don’t remember

In the cascade you washed me

In the cascade you washed me

Dammit! Dammit! Stupid indistinguishable English. Make me feel stupid, will you… Really, I always feel dumb when I’m convinced that lyrics are one way, while they actually turn out to be completely different. That happens to me with lots of Tori songs. Like “Cornflake Girl”. I swear, before I actually bothered looking up the lyrics, I was making up practically non-existent words to insert, I never had any idea what she was singing.

I keep meaning to like…review the past three or so days, because everything has been up and down and I definitely don’t get details in here. Anyway, yeah. Monday night ended up a very happy note, which helped to make Tuesday fly right past. Well, sort of. I think I spent a good seven hours of Tuesday in the music building, doing music theory. And the weather did, at that point, begin to suck. But it was all okay, because I got to see Bela Fleck and Flecktones that night!! They were amazing, and I’m going to write a detailed entry about them when I actually have enough brain-power to write coherently without effort. Mmm, Bela Fleck.

And…thanks to Rebecca, I found this new J-Pop phenomenon called Gloomy Bear. Oh my god. I want to own everything Gloomy Bear…

Gymnastics, Please?

listening to: kronos quartet – brudmarsch fra osta

I hurt in so many places. All I have eaten today is some kiwi and a bowl of tomato soup.

I’m not going to my theory lecture tomorrow. Especially if I continue to feel this crappy. That and I just don’t care about theory anymore. They keep dumping new information onto us, information that nobody is making clear will or will not be on the final. We’re all confused and spiteful. As a guy from my aural skills class said, “I would like my final in gymnastics, please”.

I think I’m going to email Tony and ask him if I can maybe not play Shostokovich tomorrow. I made an attempt at the cello-playing earlier today, it did not go well.

Shut It Up, Me

As of about 8pm last night, I am officially ill. Everything was fine and dandy until about 4pm, where my throat started feeling scratchy. Then suddenly, it didn’t feel scratchy so much as swollen. Then my head began to feel a little funny. I knew I was becoming ill, most definitely, but it wasn’t until around 7:30pm or so that I knew this was certain. I had gone over to the music building to practice before a recital at 8. Well, I didn’t practice so much as sleep with my head on a piano for a half-hour. Then I walked down to Harper, where I saw that there were most definitely already people in the auditorium. So I walked over to the music office and looked at the recital schedule, where the “8:00pm” next to Maia student recital was crossed out, and “6:30pm” was written in above it. Well, frack.

I crawled back to Currier, announced that I felt like crap, climbed into my bed, and dazed until 9, where I called my mother. There’s something about being away from home while being sick that’s vastly depressing. I haven’t really been homesick for a while since I’ve been here, but all I wanted last night was to be laying on our livingroom couch, cuddled in a wool blanket, listening to my parents walk back and forth from the kitchen to their room.

I went back to my room, took some Tylenol, and slept for a full hour, feeling completely miserable. I had a fever, I was walking into things, my head felt awful. I guess I’m rather odd when I’m deliriously unwell. I forget words. I walk into things. I babble on to people about minute things. I also convince myself I’m goint to die. I am en effing hypochondriach. Since about 8th grade, I hadn’t had a serious case of the flu until about junior year. I’d only had random numerous colds scattered throughout the year, so I must say I was completely freaked out. My parents having been in Europe did not help. I sat on our couch, being brainwashed by a program on the Discovery Channel about poisonous animals. I kept wondering if I’d had any run-ins with Brown Recluse spiders, or other insects of the like, and wondered if my parents would return from Austria to find me dead on our couch. Last night wasn’t quite like that, but there were a few moments when I was laying there, thinking “Maybe I have meningitis. I’ll die alone in this cold cold dorm-room”. Yes, I’m a freak. When I woke up feeling better from drugs an hour later, I hardly remembered this at all upon inspecting blue book and seeing there was a note from the sensible Talia, telling the paranoid one to shut up.

Today I don’t feel too much better. I think I still have a moderate fever, but I really had to go to classes. Last day of rhetoric, for one thing, and an aural skills test for another. In any case, I’m gross and I have the chills and I feel really bad for people who have to encounter me.

According to Tim H.’s away message, it’s 55 in New York city. It’s 15 here. Muah.

But Who Would Think Of Drilling Little-Old Me To Death?

Man. Everything is catching on fire, today. Both Blogger and Frowl, among other things as well. Yes.

I have nothing of importance or interest to say. I only want to share a pointless but awesome link: London Underground

Uh huh. I really just wanted an excuse to play with the swively iMacs in the Voxman ITC. I take my leave.

Note: “Everything Is Catching On Fire” Is a They Might Be Giants lyric. I’m going to use and use it until people want to threaten my life with power drills.