listening to: sugarcubes – blue eyed pop

Allstate tomorrow! Horaay! At least, I guess horaay. Last year was fun, anyway. I didn’t have a real blog back then, so I never really recorded anything. Haha. I remember on our way to Peoria, Jeff tried to throw his shoe at Andrew, but managed to hit me in the face. Hardy har har. But the really amusing story was when we went to Cheddars. And Jeff was talking about his trumpet-playing friend who was also extremely buff and capable of tearing his shirt off. So I said quietly, and very jokingly, “I want a guy who can tear his shirt off”, and Andrew took that for serious and spent a while being in ridiculous disbelief. And I was trying to explain that I had only been kidding. But nobody believed me. And then like, two seconds later I spilled my drink, and Andrew narowly missed being spilled upon *burrows into hole in the ground* And Mrs. Corpus came over and started yelling at him because she thought it was his fault. In retrospect it’s funny. And we played Pictures at an Exhibition and oooh was it good. I remember that I ended up with the very same stand-partner I had my sophomore year. But we were sitting like, way further up than we had the previous year. Hm. I really don’t remember much about my sophomore year. Only that we played Rienzzi *frowls at Wagner for composing that* and Pines of Rome. Ah. Well, no matter which orchestra I end up in, no matter how far forward or back I sit, this will be fun, I know. And true, by Saturday I’ll be exhausted, but that’s just how it is. HOraay, All-State!

Now I think it’s time to practice for like…six more hours to be in good shape for my audition. Haha. Not going to happen!!

listening to: rusted root – ecstacy

Okay. This Class Night thing is ridiculous. Honestly, this is a lose-lose situation for the students who won’t accept the fact that Dr. O’Malley will not sway. Though I do not wholly agree with how strict the limiations are, I do realize that there isn’t a damn thing we can do to change them. This isn’t just us, though. Dr. O’Malley avoided answering over half our questions. He didn’t have any good explanation for why none of the students who acted out of place in previous years were not at least contacted or talked to about the matter, either. But nonetheless, he’s an authoritative figure, and the conformist in me can do nothing but respect him. I think there is still a positive outcome this way, that if the right students do the work, we can have fun putting it together, putting it on, making it our night. I believe that it’s good we won’t have the opportunity to make cracks at other individual teachers and students. That was something about the night I’ve enjoyed through my previous four years of attendance. For those people who are only fightning the administration for the right to make fun of others, and for those who say that those people “had it coming, anyway”, that’s not something I can respect. I’ve kind of observed that just as many people are made fun of for doing the right things, aside from the wrong things. There’s no justification for it. I’d really love to sign up as a student rep for class night, but aside from the time commitment, I think there are a lot of other people who feel the way I do, that could do a much better job with it than I ever would, anyway. That’s how I feel. Eat it, senior class of 2003.

I’m such a pushover. I agreed to babysit tonight. But I also have a rather desperate need for uninterupted practice. But then…I could be practicing right now, couldn’t I….*frowls and goes to practice*

listening to: jill sobule – trains — I have been searching for this song for SOOOO long! I’m so happy I found it, it’s one of my favorites ;_;

Today was painful. Seriously. Whether I like being touched or not, I need to find somebody who will rub the knots out of my back. Like, find them and knead them out, search and destroy. Not the people who like…just gently massage my back. *rubs up against anything pointy*

Japanese was great, as always. I was called a “kanji lover” (True, I can recognize and read a lot, but if I had to write more than maybe 30, I would be oh-so screwed…). We have a chapter quiz on Wednesday, and idiotic as this sounds, I’m rather excited. Walking back to Uhigh from Stevenson was ass-cold, once again. I got back to orchestra late, to find that lurking above the cello section was this ISU observer. A euphonium player. Yes, he was actually lurking. Over me. Pretty much. And every time I’d say something to the section, he’d like…try to expand off of what I said. Which would have been fine, but what he had to say wasn’t really…important. He actually interrupted me twice. Could he not have gone to lurk over another section? What made the cellos so special? Grar.

Jazz Band was particularly fun. Since I can’t go to the jazz fest in Missouri, Josh is playing bass in my place. So when we were practicing the contest pieces today, Josh plugged his bass into the same amp I was using, and we both played. We were both so amused by this! Because the music is easy, and we were both using the exact same fingerings and everything! I think Ms J was slightly pissed off that we were so amused and not exactly paying attention, though. Gyahahaha!

OMG, thank you Renata!! This is just way too amusing!!!

listening to: shiina ringo – my luxurious night

Everyone deserves a little less Babayaga in their lives. That’s right, I scoff in your face, CYSO chamber music program! We left Normal at 11:45 today. A whole two hours and fifteen minutes later than we have been for the past four months. It was niiiice. I got to sleep in for a while and then do a whole lot of nothing before leaving.

Rehearsal was…well…like it usually is: long. We didn’t find out our new seats. Which is just fine by me *tries to repress audition memories* So, Riennzi Overature has never been my favorite piece. And our assistant conductor is rehearsing it with us. The thing about him is, he’s incredibly BORING! Just the inflection in his voice puts me to sleep, as well as half the orchestra. The strange thing is, though, we actually get a lot done under his supervision. And not just random unimportant stuff, too. Like, actual ensemble work that will make us sound really together! Things we seemingly never really do with our actual conductor. Well, whatever. It doesn’t make me like Riennzi any more.

Something that really sucked about today was that my back was hurting extreeemely. I think I have like…maximum number of knots, and sitting through three hours of…sitting…was really not in any way enjoyable.

Aaa-nd, I really need to stop scowling so much when I dont’ realize it. I was just…walking in a hallway, and somebody stopped me and asked me what was wrong, seemingly very concerned. And I felt just fine, wasn’t thinking about anything unplesant at the time. Maybe just a mite tired.

listening to: stuart davis – dresden

Nothing too pertinent to speak of. Realizing my back hurts like hell when I play the cello for too long. Liking Shiina Ringo a lot. Amidst the void of “college decision”. Missing random people I don’t see much anymore a lot. Realizing I should probably entirely delete AIM from my computer. I think I am actually communicating with people more by email than AIM, lately. It only bothers me when I realize how long I’ll have been sitting in front of the computer with AIM running, and not have talked to anyone. Hm. But that’s entirely my own fault in the first place. Because I never IM anyone myself, I always wait for people to instant message me so I can be sure they actually want to talk to me. I wonder how many poeple I never IM that are in the exact same position I am, who I will never ever talk to online. I guess I’m doomed in terms of communication.

Horaaaay! Shiina Ringo’s new single is currently No 1. on the oricon charts! Which makes me happy! I only have one song from it so far, but I liiiike! She released an album, too, but unless my katakana-reading-skills are honestly crappy, I think it’s copy-protected, so the pathetic people like myself can’t get any of the tracks *frowl* Oh well. *sigh* I understand you, Toshiba-EMI. And this, my friends, is why I never communicate with people anymore. Because I’ll just randomly comment about J-rock to them. Aahaha!

Uh, I missed a minor detail about the HanaKimi not coming out until April thing. So, apparently chapter 120 ended with a cliffhanger, and the next issue of Hana to Yume will not include chapter 121. Nakajo-sensei has done a side-story, to I think, one of her older series’? Well, beats me. I just know what we won’t find out what happened until April -_-

Gaah, InuYasha is so good! I’m so glad I’m reading it carefully this time! Really, it’s fun rereading a series I haven’t touched in a year or more, since it gives me the chance to see how I’ve improved and etc. It’s a really good feeling being able to get through big chunks of a storyline without translation help *nod*

listening to: do as infinity – shinjitsu no shi (new InuYasha OP theme)

I managed to make quite a spectacle of myself today (which is actually good because I thrive off of attention) in Chorus. We’re singing a “building song” which originates somewhere in Africa. It mostly has to do with laying bricks and smoothing plaster. It’s very lively and…erm…audience participation demanding. There’s a part that calls for the whole choir to make bird noises. We actually worked on this today. But naturally, very few people in the choir volunteered when Corpus asked. I only volunteered because everybody was going on about my stupid loon call (honestly! I don’t understand what’s so great about it! yeesh!). When we got to the bird-call soloists, nobody so much as breathed, though Mrs. Corpus was yelling that there needed to be noise. A lot of people were looking rather expectantly at me, so I uh…”let ‘er rip”, so to speak, and the entire class starting LAUGHING (Okay, but, as mentioned before, I like attention, so it was all good. In fact, I wish you all could have been there to laugh at me, really).

That’s all…really…how boring.

listening to: sakamoto maaya – hemisphere

Dammit, Kira! See what you’ve made me do now?! I don’t have the patience for any more obsessions than I already carry on, but now I love Sakamoto Maaya, too! Haa…well, anyway, I suppose there’s nothing I can about it, now. Oh–and if you’re actually reading this, Kira, please email me your mailing address so’s I can send you Shiina Ringo stuff! =D

I was kind of bored, so I broke out some Weird Al. It’s been a pretty long time since I last did so, in fact, so it was kind of fun. Honestly, there is nothing better than a good polka now and then. Or a songs about “The White Stuff”. I’d say Weird Al had a decent influence on my geekiness, too. Right around 6th and 7th grade was when I caught on. Muahaha.

It’s amazing how my daily actions effect my dreams. Honestly, I can pick out something in the majority of my dreams that had to do with some material thing or event of the day. Last night, I remember I left my jazz music out of my bag, and told myself not to forget it before I left for school. So this dream didn’t have anything to do with jazz band, but it was like…the final CYSO concert, and I had left my music at home. And it was a concert where I was alternating first and last chair betwen three different pieces. Haha, taunting, wasn’t it?

GAH! Make my parents leave me alone *hides in crawl space*

Once upon a time…there was a lovely paradise…called………

PEPPERLAND…

Audition #2: My dad drove us up to Chicago yesterday. I got the Fine Arts Building around 3:30, at which point I went up, checked in, and stood outside the warm-up room for five minutes with Samantha, while we calmed our nerves about walking in and playing in front of Abe (already in the warm-up room), who intimidates us both immensely. Charlie watched us doing this. So, we’re in the warm-up room, I’m realizing I’m still screwed, but less so. Strauss actually sounds good when I play it. At least, the difficult passages in the beginning. So I was second up. I went into room 838, where Tinkham and an unknown man were sitting. They ask for the beginning of the Verdi. Boo. The easy excerpt I didn’t work to prepare. They ask for the first page of the Mahler. That actually went alright. Then we get to the Strauss. Number 65. It was a lot less complicated than the beginning parts, so naturally I hadn’t looked over it, not one bit. It sucks when I play it. He asks for another part, not unlike 65, which was also notably not well played. Finally, after a third and incredibly embarassing try, they let me go. I apologized like…four times. Mr. Tinkham smiled and said “it’s okay. You’ll learn to like Strauss”. I walk outside, and there’s Abe. Just standing there. I mutter a good-luck and something else I can’t remember because of the embarassement, and flee. Oh, it was awful. And for those of you who will approach me at school and say “I’m sure it was fine, you’re super”, you obviously don’t understand. I was practically making up notes as I went. Tinkham makes this…face…when he hears something off, or so I’ve noted in rehearsals. Well, I looked up at him after my first Strauss attempt, and he’s making that very face. I should have thought to make sure I could play the less technical excerpts, too. Stupid stupid stupid! At least I saved myself the trouble of feeling bad about it afterward, by having been pretty hard on myself before the audition. I was at home beforehand, crying, feeling pretty miserable, that I would not be able to play the music. So after the audition, I felt pretty embarassed, but I did not feel bad.

Then we took the “skyway” out of Chicago (with a really really tall bridge that looks out over like…all of industrial Gary, Indiana, horaay…), and drove a very exhausting and snowy drive to Greencastle. We stopped en route for dinner at Cracker Barrell, where I had what may have been the starchiest dinner ever. Then I slept rather poorly at our Days Inn, to get up the next morning and head over to DePauw University for…

Audition #3: We drove to DePauw, for their official audition day. There was only one other cello auditioning. She was awfully nice. All like…five string players audition were awfully nice. I noticed that there were at least a billion or so vocalists. Anyway, I played my audition, not too badly. The Bach I hadn’t touched for a while, so it was in rough shape. The Saint-Seans was pretty good. For perhaps the second time in my life, I did a not-so-bad job with sight-reading. And this supposed “sight-singing” was singing a note back to them that was played from the piano. I was kind of thinking “this is all?! You’re not making me sing the name of the note back at you? Or read music and sing the notes and their note names or–aah!”.

Much, much later I had my lesson with the cello teacher, and he is *gasp* a-MAAAZZING! Honestly, he should be given the title “teacher of technical/scientific cello” or something. I went in, and he asks me what I want to work on, so I give him my main two technical problems. He then tells me what I did wrong in my audition, related them with my two main technical problems, and outright gives me advice on how to fix them. It makes me realize that my stupid poor technicality holds me back a lot, in the longrun. Anyway, I liked him a lot. As much as I liked U of Iowa’s teacher.

What I really thought about DePauw: I did like the school of music. They are in desperate need of cellos, which puts me in a good position, which they made clear to me. The teacher if fabulous, and I would have opportunities to do more than just play the cello, unlike a conservatory setting which may possibly hinder me to the cello. The school is small, just over 2,000. It’s a lot like Oberlin, somehow. But then again, it’s not. I have to make it clear, stupid as this may sound, I am pro-geek. I am a geek, I like being with others similar to myself, and I really encourage others to try a different approach which may be defined as “geekish”. I did not find see this in DePauw. It is almost the parallel school to Oberlin, but not that way. The town is really small and farm-community-ish, and not really close to anything great, though I suppose Indianapolis is close enough. Is it okay to say that they just….weren’t my people, exactly? It just…didn’t feel right to me. Perhaps time will sway this in me, who knows. I just feel bad because the cello teacher is so cool.

Anyway, those are my current endless thoughts. I am in need of a good distraction right about now. I’m guessing I’ll have to do it myself, too.

AAAAW, MEGAN, JAMIE, I lurve your dog!

listening to: rem – harborcoat

Helllllo? Anybody out theeere?!

In the news: Strauss and I have been eyeing eachother uncomfortably for the past couple days. I think now that I’ve actually played through all of Der Rosenkavalier, I feel a little better. It’s a trade-off. I feel better because I know it’s possible that I can possibly maybe play it, four hours from now at my audition. However, I feel worse because now I know it will suck no matter now I play it. Sigh. I don’t care, though. If the people in CYSO had some sense, they’d have given us specific excerpts to play, so they could judge fairly between sections who have all actually practiced and prepared the excerpts to the best of their abilities. Harumph. Honestly, though. I couldn’t care less if I ended up last chair of our section. And you know, with the way they organize the seating, it’s possible that I could play the absolute worst audition in the cello section and still end up not-in-the-back.

The Heartland audition went alright. Though it was pretty unorganized. The judges didn’t smile once. But I still said “thank you” and smiled to them, nonetheless. I still haven’t heard back from them, though, which probably means I didn’t win. But mweh, I don’t really care. Anyway, if that is the case, I won’t have to reschedule my NEC audition, giving me a whole month more to PRAAAAAACTICE.

I am soooo tired right now. *slaps self* I promise I will blog about something non-selfish sometime soon. Likely after this weekend. Just TWO MORE auditions to go this weekend…

WHAT AN EFFING CONCERT! AAAH!

I have some er…bad news. According to the ml I’m a member of, after this next issue of Hana to Yume, there won’t be another chapter of HanaKimi until April 5th. What the hell?! I can’t wait that long anymore >__<

listening to: shiina ringo – private

“Yuri won’t let me lift risers, because he’s from Ukraine and I’m a girl”. I don’t even understand what context that’s in, but I’m too amused not to include it. Yeah. Friday nights by myself kind of suck. Given, I did randomly play the cello a lot, and sit in front of the computer, too. And really…I don’t do anything Friday nights, anyway *shrug* But muah. I wish I had a car so I could have gone and at least played the one song I play with Simple and Theory. Oh well.

So, this new mp3-sharing software SUCKS! It uses sooo much memory, and only to make my computer freeze up more than enough times. I did, however, find one hell of a lot of working files, all Shiina Ringo, and live/bootleg tracks. I guess that compensated for the crashing. Yeah, I’m overjoyed, since she’s releasing like…at least three things or so on the 26th. A single and an album. Hell! Man. The computer thing, though. SHEESH. My computer-situation in college is going to be so-so. I get this computer. But, I’ve been hypothesizing that everything that goes wrong is because of all the damn extensions and applications taking up so much space, none of which we really use. I’m going to reformat the whole freaking thing. With a little convincing and sucking-up, I’m thinking I may try to get Mac OSX installed, too. Which would be cool *nod*

I’m sooooo tired. Tired. *falls*

listening to: elliot smith – needle in the hay

Pad thai. Not my favorite thing in the world.

Ugh. Now that I’m over my initial “I’ll never be free from my cello again” rage, I’m going through some rather idiotic “nobody at school loves me” rage. Which, as is mentioned before, is idiotic. I think I’m just paranoid because the vast majority of people at school (and, we’re talking student body as a whole, here, not specific people) make me uncomfortable, and nervous, and untalkative, or various combinations of the all the former. Which I’m going to guess makes people (a) loathe my presence, (b) ignore my presence or (c) not really make any note of my presence in the first place. It makes me feel kind of lonely and dejected and…stuff. -_- But whose fault is that in the first place? MINE! SHUT UP, ME! I’m such a selfish bitch sometimes *frowls at self*

I’m trying this new mp3 file-sharing…thing…called DrumBeat. It’s prettier than iSwipe, finds more results than iSwipe, but doesn’t really have anything else over it. Mind you, iSwipe downloads like…maybe…10% of the files I request. This one has probably downloaded about three in the past three days of searching. So muh. But then, I don’t actually search for much. Only Japanese stuff that is obviously not available to me in any other form than mp3. Or rare/bootleg recordings. I’m rather a fan of supporting my favorite artists, yes I am.

I starting rereading InuYasha the other day and *droool* It’s always fun to come back to such a great series after a while of obsessing over other stuff. I figure, I’m unsure of a good amount of storyline between volumes 15-26, I own 1-27, and I love shonen manga. What in bloody hell am I waiting for? So I’m rereading it. And it’s great. One thing I’ve never remarked upon are Takahashi-sensei’s monsters!! You’d never realize she could be the creator of such grotesque and excellent monsters by reading Ranma 1/2. I actually remember being rather shocked when I got the first three volumes while I was in Japan, with the knowledge that Takahashi Rumiko was the author, and seeing some of those monsters for the first time. Hmm. Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to do a chapter a week for Shonen Sunday. HanaKimi and Koucha Ouji are generally bi-monthly, though sometimes there won’t be a chapter for two issues or more. Kanata-kara, on the other hand, as I’ve been informed by one of my reliable sources, comes out what, three times a year? Har har. Some manga fans have more luck than others.

Aa–aaaanyway…

listening to: rag fair – asatte wa sunday

Hi. I’m better now. I didn’t really mean what I wrote. And I won’t delete what I wrote, either. It stays to remind me of how much life could suck at any given moment in time (and to remind people that I’m crazy).

Actually, I’m only kind of better. I wasn’t really all that much better until I having what must have been the most reassuring cello lesson –ever– about an hour ago. I’m still kind of stressed, though. I am, however, safe to talk to, as opposed to last night and just about any random point in time earlier in the day. Douzo. Naa…mou okottenai!

And…speaking of Japanese! The highlight of my day was class. I really prefer it now that we’re down to like…five people. I think I may actually be able to improve my speaking after all, considering that at this point, I pretty much have to speak. We did one of those cute little “shizen” manga, where you have to make up the dialogue to go with the vague images in place of captions and…mine ended with “inu wa…DAME” (dogs are no good). It made sensei laugh, though I’m not certain many other people will be entertained. Especially not without knowing the context of the…yeah…SHUT UP ME.

AAAAH! I HATE YOU, BLOGGER! I HATE YOU, WORLD!!!

I’m so pissed off right now. I have two auditions and a concert this weekend, already. But my Dad just went and schedule an audition at DePauw University, too, without my permission, without knowing my schedule, just like that. But what’s worse is that I long ago crossed DePauw off my list for schools of interest. So we’re going to drive straight from Chicago after my audition Sunday to Greencastle, Indiana. I just…don’t have the frame of mind for this!! I’ve been practicing my ass off for the past three days, without people coming up and asking me to play auditions and coach other people and I’m sick of it!!! I don’t need this right now!!

If this is where my life as a musician will lead me, insanity, I don’t want it. I DON’T WANT TO PLAY THE CELLO ANYMORE!!

listening to: porno graffitti – saboten

I am…so tired. It’s not like the general “I want to go back to bed” tired. It’s the “every fiber of my being is dragging to the ground” tired. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve felt like this ever since somewhere in the middle of rehearsing Wagner on Sunday, too. Maybe I need to work on exerting less energy when I play and practice. Haha, fat chance of that happening, especially considering how much I have to work on, too. Stupid auditions! It’s bad, though, because not only am I exhausted during the second week of school, but I’m counting down the weeks until spring break (7). Hmm. Maybe I’m sick without realizing it, or something. No, no. I don’t feel sick. I think I may have simply exerted far too much energy over the weekend.

We’re watching Shakespeare in Love in (you guessed it) Shakespeare. And…Mrs. Clesson, who is a die-hard Colin Firth fan, did not believe me when I informed her that Colin firth plays Lord Wessex. As in, she was in serious denial. And nobody else really seemed sure, so when he appeared on screen, I was like “LOOK LOOK LOOOOOK, you FOOLS!”. Sure enough, Colin Firth. I can see how one would easily overlook him, though, because he’s not exactly a character you’re supposed to like. But yeah, I think I frightened a few people…makes me wish I didn’t obsess over just about everything I’ve ever liked. I think that’s another reason I’m practically spent. Because I use up all my energy getting excited over things that shouldn’t particularly matter to me. But…ah, that’s just the way I am. I think it would only take more effort to be constraining.

In other news and events, my sister’s housemate is obsessed with her cat–which does not make this an easy time, seeing as her cat is dying. It’s not even that old, but it apparently has some odd and rather fatal virus about it. It has ceased to eat at this point, which is especially a bad sign. But yet the owner is persisting, taking it to some “cat specialists”. And, I know it’s great to love your pet, and try to preserve it’s health, but isn’t that taking it a little too far? It’s a rather hopeless case, and it has been suggested that she put it down. I know that’s what I would do in a situation like that. I just don’t think it’s worth suffering on the part of the pet. Then, it’s hard to say what I’d do in that situation. We’ve only ever kept birds, and unless they’re greatly suffering in ways more than just discomfort, it’s really hard to tell if a parrot is having a serious health issue. They can hide discomfort really well, apparently, which is why without a regular vet check-up, it’s really hard to know if a bird is having problems with their condition. Most of the short-lived parakeets and finches we’ve ever owned have died from old-age, and it’s always been very sudden, not really giving us the chance to think of options to save them (…as though there would be many for birds, in the first place…). I do remember with horses, though, when my favorite pony, Cricket, was collicking in a most awful manner…the decision was to put him down. The twisting of his intestines was far too advanced for any hope. Sigh. I love animals so much. This kind of thing depresses me.

Hmm…I’m really nodding off. I need SUSTINANCE! *runs off*

listening to: bonnie pink – not ready

Bonnie Pink is relieving my school stress right now. Mm. Two rather frustrating things occured today. First of all, I had to talk to Ms. J about not being able to go on this Jazz Band overnight thing on the 22nd. She pretty much told me that I’d be the main reason we’d not go, which made me feel guilty. But it’s not like I can be in three places at once!! Then I found out that Solo&Ensemble Contest isn’t on March 1st, after all, but March 8th. My Oberlin audition is March 8th. *sigh* I know it’s not something I should whine over, seeing as it’s unavoidable, and not that big a deal, but I really wanted to play this year. I wanted to do the Dance of the Elves. And the Hindemith (especially the Hindemith…!!). And everything I always do.

Japanese started today. And the number of students in the class has diminished from twelve to five. The sad thing about this is that two of the five are U-high students, and therefore don’t register as students on the list. So technically there are only three ISU students enrolled. Sigh. Oh well. Maybe this way, I’ll actually have to talk a little more, and maybe improve a little with my speaking skills. The new books look cool, too.

And speaking of Japan, I really don’t know whether or not I should apply for the study abroad in Asahikawa. Every fiber in my being wants to go to Japan for a year as an exchange student–except for the part of me that knows being a music student requires me to continue my work from the point I’ve come to so far. This obviously would not happen if I spent a year in Japan. My parents say it’s my decision, and they won’t intervene if I decide I want to do it. But I really don’t know. I’ve been putting it off since sophomore year, saying I wanted to continue school here, and I’m glad I’ve done that. So I feel like this is my last chance. Hmm. I suppose I still have time to think about this.

HORAAAY! NO MORE CYSO CHAMBER MUSIC! *attempts to dance, but manages to fall over self and lay bleeding until somebody trods upon her and assist her* BUT I’M SO EFFING TIRED!!

Originally that read “but I’m so effing wasted”, until I realized that that is usually only taken in alchoholic terms, is it not? Anyway, I feel that way. I exerted about all of my energy into the clarinet quintet rehearsal this morning, which did not bode well with the following of Verdi, Wagner and *tremble* Bernstein. And then we played our chamber concert in the rehearsal room (for which Kathy aka Babayaga would allow us to bow only one way–which was idiotic, btw). My group was awesome, end of story. I’m going to miss playing with them, even if two of them are relative Bozos at times.

Next weekend is going to be freaking insane! On Saturday, I have a concerto audition in the morning, and then a concert to play and then another to attend in the evening. Then Sunday I have my seating audition, for which I’m SCREEEEWEEED *sob* I experienced a faint glimmer of hope today when I was temporarily convinced we’d be auditioning on the Bernstein and Verdi (both things I’m proficient at playing). That lasted for a full half-hour, until Tinkham announced that cello audition music was most definitely, undoubtedly Verdi, Mahler and Strauss. I realize now, the only way I’ll ever play the Strauss well is if I learn to like it. But…I don’t like Strauss yet! Okay. Okay. But this can’t last. I must learn to like Strauss by this coming Sunday. *listens to Der Rosenkavalier wherever she may go*

I had a rather odd dream last night. It involved me riding my bike on a stretch of the Constitution Trail in the dark, and trying to track my friends down. I think it’s a continuation of something I had over the summer. Other than some random odd dreams, I’ve been sleeping so well lately. Sleeeeeep…..

Wow!! What a concert! Horaay, for the Peoria Young Players! Though yeah, it wasn’t exactly my finest hour. It would have been an average night for me had I not (a) left my music in the basement of Dingledine only to realize it after walking onstage with everyone else and (b) not been so drained after playing even the first movement of Tchiak. Serenade for Strings is one of those pieces that I love so much, I can play it backwards and forwards for memory. I get excited about it, so I over-prepare. The thing is that it really keeps you on your technical toes, and never seems to stop doing so. Thus, it’s rather energy sucking. I never dreamed the day would come when I would be absolutely beat from playing a concert. And uh…aheh…as for iten (a) on our list, that was totally my bad. I don’t know, having been standpartners with Andrew for four years, I’ve kind of come to think that he’s the one who always has the music (I think maybe since I lost my orchestra folder on the second day of school last year, we decided we’d just be extra careful not to lose his). However, this was not the case. So I walked on stage, took a good look at our stand, and walked back off stage, to show up maybe a minute-and-a-half after the lights went down. I basically made the orchstra wait for me. Man, did I feel cool. Har har.

Hahaha, my mom was sitting near the Jones’s (whom I adore. They’re good friends with my parents), and after the Tchiak, Mrs. Jones said “Gosh…I wish I could find a cellist to play a Tchiakovsky as mean as the Talia-girl plays” and AAHAHAHA! She totally didn’t know I was of any relation to my parents! I remember when I was eight, and my sister was having a lesson with Mrs. Jones, I was playing with Kate, and I ended up yelling at her because she kept antagonizing her cat. Kate did not remember this at all when I shared that memory.

And….aaaah, I’m so happy about the next PSO concert! Peoria Young Players are playing for it next Saturday, so i’m pretty much obligated (fwee) to stay for the actual concert. But…they’re playing *dies* Prokofiev’s Romeo and Juliet, plus the Death of Tybalt. Now, just to inform you, I’ve been on a big Russian composer kick for the past month and a half, so this is an encouraging thing. I love Romeo and Juliet so very much. I’m geekily excited about this.

Haha, I just told my sister my last-week CYSO story. She was almost crying from laughing. I was so proud of myself. Either it really was as ridiculous as I thought it was, or I’m a moderately okay story-teller.

Oh man oh man oh MAN! Biiiig HanaKimi development!!! This is a moderate spoiler, so don’t highlight the text unless you like spoilers!! Okay. This is all according to the HanaKimi yahoo list that I’m a member of. There’s also veritable proof. Somebody scanned the last two pages from HanaYume 3. I don’t know what was happening prior to these events in the chapter, but it looks like Mizuki is giving Sano…maybe…chocolate? So yeah, she’s about to give it to him, but he grabs her hand, and asks “I can interpret this however I want?” to which I go KYAAAAAAAAA!!!!! This is like…plot development *dies* Mizuki may be able to ignore that last “onnademo okotodemo suki” thing from a while back, but there is NO way she can ignore that. Sano looks pretty intentive, too. I can’t wait until next chapter. Good god, that’s another two weeks from now. It was kind of funny, because there was a big misunderstanding on the list from two days before. Somebody said that Nakatsu knew Mizuki was a girl. But he doesn’t. He may have come invariably close to finding out when he walked in on Mizuki in book 3, but he ran out before he actually could see anything of the sort. Part of the problem, I think, was that this person who said she knew Nakatsu knew, was Chinese, and not entirely fluent in English, I’m guessing. So like…half the list was seriously freaking out. I felt bad, but at the same time, I was highly amused, just because it caused such riot. I know for certain Nakatsu doesn’t know. Trust me, I have read that manga too carefully too many times. I would know if Nakatsu knew. There would be a possibly different issue between he and Sano if he did know. *puff*

Right. I feel better now. Things don’t help that I’ve been on a continuous Hanakimi fanfic binge for the past couple weeks. Not in ENglish, though. I really feel lucky that I have at least a decent understanding of written Japanese. It rather satisfied my obsession. Sigh.

We were talking over a few really good possibilites for senior class pranks today. I’m really looking forward to the ones that have been thought up so far. In my mind, they are superior to some of the others in the past *glares at the seniors who let pigs run rampant in our building last year*

I have to drive myself to like…the inards of Peoria tonight. But not only myself, Andrew, too. I hope I don’t like…get us killed or something. I’m not nervous about driving that far by myself, but I’m afraid that other people will think my driving skills are crappy or something (which they’re not they’re not they’re nooot! >__<). I mean, I did only almost kill myself and the string quartet when I ended up driving us all to Flanagan for a wedding reception. But I had only just gotten my license. At this point I've been fully licensed for nearly *counts on fingers* 10 months. And I always signal *nod* I think my problem with driving is the vehicle I am required to drive. We have three cars at home, only one of which is an automatic transmission. ANd hey hey, guess what, I suck at stick-shift. So I end up driving our Ford Aerostar pretty much everywhere. And this thing is like the Ford-made equivalent of a tank. It's awful. I had the hardest time going back to it after driving my sister's Audi for two months (which is the best car in the world, by the way. It's name is Hans). But I love to drive, in the end. I just contemplate how much more I'd love to drive if I didn't have to drive a shoe-box with wheels. Okay, I now highly aprove of Mrs. Clesson. I think she’s an excellent teacher for Shakespeare, and I’m looking forward to starting Macbeth next week. Mmm. Shakespeare goodness.

There are some days where I hate everybody. Today was one of those days. It’s no big deal. I didn’t beat anyone up. Or even yell at anyone (except in orchestra, but that was right before pleading insanity to whole class, so it probably didn’t count…). I just didn’t want to be bothered, which was easy enough to avoid. I’m going to hypothesize that this is because I’m really really tired. I think I’m really really tired because I went running in PE, for the first time since maybe September. And…perhaps the lack of sleep…thing. I’m still running low on energy thing from staying up until 2:30am Tuesday, finishing two applications (trust me, if I hadn’t done them then, they would never be finished). Yeah. I like, decided to practice before my 1:00 free hour, thinking it might energize me a bit. But it was one of the really bad school instruments, so I only managed to tired myself out more. TIRED.

Hahah! Ms. J found Carlie and I eating lunch together, so she told us about a prospective Jazz band overnight thing in Missouri during February. She was saying how she’d try to negotiate with parents about the cost, since the Chorus trip is coming up the next month. Conversation went like this:

Me: Well, don’t worry about me. My parents probably won’t mind. Especially when you consider the expences for CYSO. You have to pay for the air you breathe with CYSO.

Ms. J: Hah, the wind players’ parents must pay even more than yours!

Me: I’m lucky because, see, I don’t have to breathe!

Go me. I actually wrote that down.

I like blogger. I like the fact that I can control my own page with it. I like the fact that I can archive my posts by month or week or whatever. I like the fact that it’s not a part of big community where random people you don’t know scare you with weird messages. -__-* I don’t like it that I randomly can’t post my entries. *sob* But blogger, hooray! I also approve of pitas and livejournal. But really, what else would you possibly want to use?! HUH?!