listening to: blue man group – klein mandelbrot

I finished the Amber Spyglass last night. I don’t know how I ever convinced myself to reread the series. I suppose it was worth it, it’s really great reading material. But mwaah! And Jamie, btw, Kikyou died in the chapter before this last one, so I’ve known she died for maybe a week now ^_^

I ran to school this morning. It was about 7:45 when the realization dawned upon me that I had left my bike on my mom’s office after my cello lesson on Friday (in addition to the realization that there was no car for me, either), so I absolutely bolted out the door and sprinted down the alley. And there were people outside in their yards, letting their dogs out and such. I was tempted to yell at them all “g’mornin’!” in a British accent, for kicks. I ended up being five minutes early, though, and only for a sub to be in Creative Writing. So I spent most of the hour giggling over engrish with Justin. Allow me to share some that I found particularly amusing: “be considerate…think for others” — hotel sign, “Sailing dinghy is baby gang” — t-shirt, “Baby Doll, 100% juicy” — child’s t-shirt, “We serve people like you as good food!” –restuarant sign, and my personal favorite “Beware of being eaten by small children due to small parts” –Dragon Ball Z toy package. Oooh.

And yeah, during orchestra, Mr Kurtz came into while the quintet was practicing, and recorded Phil and I for this article he’s doing. But I didn’t know that. And I generally go crazy during rehearsals. So I hope he cuts out dialogue and stuff. I’m embarassed enough he’s going to allow people to see me playing through the web at all. After the quintet left, he said he wanted more fotage of us playing together, but what the hell are a viola and cello supposed to do about that?! Well, we tried remembering the Eyeglass duo, and I failed pretty miserably, considering I’d read through it maybe once back in May. And then we played the maestoso part of “Jupiter”, and except for a few really stupid intonation screw ups, it wasn’t bad. I’m really interested to see how this article will turn out *is fearful of being discovered for the lunatic she really is*

listening to: jill sobule – jig is up (live/acoustic)

Sigh of contentment goes here. What a nice weekend it’s been. Even rehearsal was nice. It was actually just a cello sectional on Roosevelt U’s music floor, and only two hours instead of three. I was like an hour early, as usual, and I get to the room and Abe is playing Bach suites all by himself. So I walk into the room, put my cello case down and smile briefly, before running out of the room as fast as possible to feel insignificant for a few minutes. He’s so good! I’m too embarassed to even talk to him! And it definitely doesn’t feel like he’s a year younger than I am. With the tall and the cello superiority and the already being accepted to Curtis…but I’m getting to be able to talk with the other cellists and not feel like a total cretin. Maybe a half-cretin. Yeah, Charlie’s so nice. I don’t know if he’s humoring me because he’s nice or he thinks I’m at least not horribly boring, but it doesn’t really matter to me. We shared cello repair stories today. Our coach was a riot! Not as good a teacher as Leviton, but a lot of fun, and an excellent player, nonetheless. It was good because I got my cello fixed yesterday, and could kind of hear myself! But then my bow was lacking rosin in the worst way, so there was still a lot of difficulty with bow articulation. Sigh. I smashed my rosin to bits, so it’ll be a while before I’m my old playin’ self again.

So there’s this new possibility of my going to London with U-High theatre….and wow would that be cool. I’ve never been to UK before, only Germany/Italy and places in between. But I ran the idea past my mother, who seemed mildly interested in my going. My father will be a different matter, I think. He’ll either spit the idea back into my face, or become 100% enthused about it before I even tell him what we’d be doing there. Mm. Travel abroad…

listening to: jill sobule – big shoes (live/acoustic)

So homecoming was FUN! Dinner, especially. I thoroughly enjoyed being in one really big group this time around for a formal dance/dinner. And I love Chinese food sooo much. So yeah. It was kind of sad how much we talked about video games and comic books, but that’s just when I try look at it through other people’s eyes. Yeah. I’m a pretty non-girlish girl in most aspects, but I’m starting to really understand that there’s no reason I should be any different. And then the dance was kind of…well…I’m a non-dancer. But watching people like Justin and Charles with glowsticks was excellent! It really made me want to go to a rave! I would even participate if I went to a rave! Whoowhee! And after the dance, we went to the 11:00 show of Indiana Jones – Raiders of the Lost Ark, all dressed up. And it had been a while since I’d seen that movie, so I had totally forgot how many fascinating ways of dying there were for show.

So that was homecoming. I’m really glad I went. Thanks, Rob!

And…and…the latest HanaKimi chapter…KYAA! With the admitting of … of… well, Jamie did an excellent job summarizing and commenting. I share the same opinion on the matter like….this is actual progress, here! Even if Mizuki is still being kind of “nibui” about it, there has been progress, people!! *puff*

Referalls I felt the need to share:

+ inuyasha information on the show of the two love couples inuyasha and kagome only in the show

That is some attrocious use of sentance structure…

+ tetris attack bass tab

*frowl*

+ free senoir nudes

I keep getting all these mispelled searches….which doesn’t say much about my spelling…I guess…

Aaack, I have a rehearsaaaaal….

U-HIGH FOOTBALL……um…sucks?

The score when I left the game after halftime was maybe…12-40-something. It was pretty sad. Yeah. That’s all I really noticed, though. I spent the rest of the time talking. And, unfortunately for my poor voice, not too quietly (I really should have refrained from singing the Pikachu song with Rob like ten times…). But yeah. Saw a lot of alumni, which was cool. Steven was there, and he informed me that Emily is playing Rugby, which is awesome. Yay, Emily. And Renata, Megan, Rob and I told eachother endless pirate jokes…and somebody collapsed on the field, (to which I replied “oops”), and yeah. I don’t know. I don’t like football, and I was only required to go because of Chorus II. I don’t know. I keep thinking that, as much as I have enjoyed aspects of U-High, I really don’t want to come back to it after I leave. But I imagine that if I’m closeby, I’ll probably end up going to the Homecoming game. I could imagine it would make me feel a bit depressed…Nikita said it was really weird being there. *shrug*

Hehe…in Creative Writing, we had a sub, which would figure, because apparently we’re having a sub again on Monday and Tuesday, the two days before we have some big project to turn in. But I don’t mean to start ranting about Clesson again. I spent fifteen minutes doing some sociology homework, and then the rest of the time looking at Engrish! And, oh wow it’s amazingly entertaining. Justin, Katie, Michelle and Marion like…gathered around my screen and we laughed at it together. The sub asked…”is that homework?” and we’re all like “uhh….yeeah?”. Hehe…the sub accepted that and was like “Oh. Okay”. But yeah, it amazes me how much engrish people send it! Like, if you look at the “Engrish from you” pages, which there are like three of, you’ll see what I mean! And it’s not just Japanese, these are sightings from all over Asia, too! Oh, but enough. I really should go and drink some tea and make an attempt at finishing reading “the Amber Spyglass”. I’m kind of afraid I’ll get to the end parts on the way to or from Chicago on Sunday. That would be really bad. Maybe I should actually refrain from reading it *shifty eyes*

I was afraid I wouldn’t make it to the computer from the car, but lo and behold, here I sit. Whoa. What did I want to blog about? Wednesday. What happened on Wednesday? Oh!!

Wednesday night, I watched the season premiere of the West Wing with Jamie (Megan had to work). And it was goood! Ahaha, I loved the fact that Toby, Josh and Donna got left behind in Indiana. And I just about died when Toby and Josh were throwing fits about the time zone thing. And the way Charlie bitched out that other guy was…great! Aaah! It was really hard to watch the West Wing while Jon was playing “Kingdom Hearts”, though! Because that game looks so incredibly kick ass! I mean, Disney and Squaresoft in one RPG! Oh, how I wish I were spoiled with gaming systems like all my friends.

I went on this Batman (the animated series) binge yesterday! I don’t even remember what got me started. But I do know that Aaron and I spent all hour PE walking the loop and talking Batman. I really wish I could rewatch it, because it was so good! A lot of it I found very disturbing at that age (maybe 8 or 9), but I think I would really enjoy seeing all of it again. Haha. I was just so helplessly into Batman beyond that point. I randomly walked up to Nathaniel, waved my hands and belted out “Batman!!”, and he gave me his puzzled look. Teehee. I think I’d been sitting with Renata for a few minutes, talking about it, and after a long pause, and what might have been a subject end, and this happened–:

Me: “Heeey, remember that time, when there was this computer, and it was taking over people’s bodies and replacing them with robots–”

Renata: “Um..noooo?”

Me: “–on Batman!”

Renata: “Oh! YEAH!”

And then I hummed a whole tone scale in the stairwell, and it sounded so incredibly cool! I mean, a normal anything hummed in the stairwell sounds nice, but Holst was kick ass! So yeah. That was my day.

And then I went to Youth Symphony, which was so much more productive than last week! And the cello section almost outplayed me! I was so proud *sniff* But then the obnoxious girl asked me for a stupid fingering and referred to me as “all-knowing”, which irritated me greatly. It was mainly that she was asking for a 4th position fingering, for the piece we weren’t even going to play that, where there are like…weirdass whole-tone scales in the Debussy which I knew the back stand couldn’t play if their lives depended on it. But I’m very nice to everybody in CIYS, and told her very mildly that I’d give them a fingering for it later. The only person who could have known my aggrivation was Addie (who I told of the encounter). And then Steve said that Melissa’s English Horn playing sounded “like poultry”. It didn’t, really. But Steve has this way of saying sort of insulting things without really meaning them, things that make the first stands of strings laugh (teehee). Apparently he made the second oboe cry. I think it was just because she was embarassed, because he hadn’t said anything odd like that about her. But yeah, I actually wonder if maybe he says sort of odd things because he learned English as a second language…because that sounds very Japanese to me.

And now I”m going to go sit on my lazy ass before having to go sing at the homecoming game. While Jamie and Megan go see Sen to Chihiro *sniff* Oh well. Have fun with that that you JERKS! =D

A bit of sad news for the cello world, and me, who had mid-hopes of attending the Oberlin Conservatory for further cello instruction in life. Andor Toth died last week. And he was an amazing cellist. And I had extremely looked forward to taking a lesson or two with him, if not even studying with him later in life. Everyone had thought he wasn’t returning to Oberlin this year, because of a severe cancer of the throat. But everything turned around, and we were all hearing about his amazingly improved health. But apparently he died from pneumonia last week. This blots out every prospect or possibility of my even considering Oberlin now. My mother was saying that my sister had called this morning, and was telling me there was no more reason for my audition at Oberlin. And…do you ever…just know what the next thing somebody’s going to say will be, even before they say it? That was one of those moments. I know, it’s like this his death really personally effects me (although my sister was actually a good friend of his), but just disheartening. And not just the fact that I may have missed a chance at doing learning something great with someone who I want to learn from. I don’t know. I’d really love to say something bitter at one of those stupid CCM poeple who likes to badmouth Oberlin and their faculty right now.

Just felt like typing that. No doubt, I’ll be zenzen okay after the WW season premier!

listening to: cibo matto – beef jerky

Mrlah. I’m so ungodly tired right now. I don’t know why, either. I’m not getting too little sleep this year as compared to other years. My mother would tell me that I need to have more iron in my diet. That actually wouldn’t surprise me if it were true, but whatever. We researched the “Stanford Prison Experiment” in Sociology today. It’s a little disturbing, but cool. Entire record of project here. Go look. It’s interesting. Such a great class. And then at lunch, Rob and Matt were messing with these insanely cute animal paper-plates and oh was it entertaining. And then I went to ISU and took a Japanese test, which was okay except for the three kanji completely forgot how to write, and the other two I made big mistakes with. Heh. Pit orchestra was slightly better today. I mean, everyone else. I apparently can’t read rythms, though. Or notes, for that matter. But it’s really hard reading notes that are like, five ledger lines above the staff! My method of reading music while playing the bass is simply transposing from cello in my head, instantly. But it’s actually really slow for me up in that high high range. And therefore, I would like to inform the poeple who wrote the bass book that there is, indeed, a something I like to call tenor cleff.

And now I’m just sitting here. But later I’m going to watch the season premier of the West Wing and oh will that be wonderful. Though I should really be practicing the cello. Hmm. Steve threatened like…everybody at rehearsal last Thursday because we weren’t able to play our parts. Oh, I can vouch for that all right. It was pretty bleak. In fact, CYSO and CIYS were practically the same rehearsal last week, minus the difference in location, repertoire and difficulty of the music. It’s like…really weird, going back and forth between a cello section where there’s nothing but competition, and a cello section where it’s…me. And three other poeple pretending to pull their bows across their strings. It’s almost like culture shock but…not. So orchestral shock.

Aaahahaha! Everybody go read Neil’s blog entry for the 24th!

listening to: jill sobule – the jig is up (live)

Aaah, why do I love Jill Sobule so damn much?! I mean, I’m sure consistent blog readers are familiar with my patterns of obsession. Just…whoa. So I’m downloading like every bootleg mp3 from this site, and then I’m gonna compile them, and burn them onto a CD and listen to that CD everywhere I go. Very much like I do Stuart Davis’s 16 Nudes. Sometimes I think I need a life. Geez.

Whoa. Peer pressure. I never ever expected getting it from people about going to a particular school! But expect then unexpected, idiot me, it happened. It’s very irritating to deal with (I’m talking about people already in college pressuring me to audition places). I mean, an occasional good-nature poke about going to a school is fine, and I don’t mind. But when poeple like…badmouth other music teachers and schools to directly compare it to their own, that makes me kind of mad. It also upsets me that I try, very politely, to give my reasons for not wanting to apply or take the time/money to audition, but they only get thrown back in my face. And…I don’t mean to say it like this, but there are some places that I simply don’t appeal to me, for one reason or another. There’s very little people can do to change that at this point in time, because it’s simply a little late. I apologize if I’ve hurt anybody’s feelings (o_O;; God, I should hope not. Or else it’s evident that people could use a little bit of help here and there…). Geez. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll even get into college. It really makes me wish I’d have worked more during high school, and tried to offer a more impressive list of classes. I mean, with my not-too-high standardized test scores, combined with my not 4.0 GPA and with the not-so outstanding Extracurricular activies I participated in, what else do I have to offer? And it irritates me when poeple whine about their GPA and their test scores when they’re actually VERY good. I mean, if you have the power to achieve something you want, what’s stopping you? My problem is that I have the power to achieve something not bad, but I’m highly unsure it’s what I want. I should really stop thinking so negatively about a career in music. I grew up thinking it was what I’d do, so why am I only doubting it now? There are many places worse to be in life. And it’s not like it would be a dead end for Japanese during college (unless I went to a conservatory, in which case it would). I could still even get a minor, which could land me doing something down the road, if I wanted. And then I can’t forget that my dad went to like…five different schools (sooo many things I didn’t know about my dad). Sigh. Stupid transcripts that made me actually contemplate. Man.

And I don’t mean to continue ranting, but it’s hard not to when I find out I’m not getting an A in Creative Writing because my computer at home is different from the computers at school. GRAR. I miss Walker and the relative coherence that was included in her classes. Oops. I’ve suddenly remembered I have a Japanese test tomorrow. Hmm.

listening to: jill sobule – karen by night (live)

Soooo I found this Jill Sobule bootleg website and AAUGH! I was so happy, because I do like the CD versions of her stuff, but she’s such an excellent guitarist, and I’m more of an acoustic-liking person. But yeah, I found “The Jig Is Up”, which is one of the songs I’ve been kind of whining to myself to try and find live. “Jet Pack” is also there. “Trains” wasn’t up, but I’ll keep my eyes peeled (which I’ve also been whining to myself to find). For anybody interested, go here for bootleg songs. Mmm. Bootleg goodness.

And speaking of excellent guitarists, it’s An DiFrancoi’s Birthday! Happy B-day, Ani!

And that’s really all I have to say for now. Yawn.

listening to: cibo matto – sugar water

This music is really calming me down, which is not at all suprising considering it’s mellow Cibo Matto, and dammit, it does that to me. So Carrie Newcomer? Good. Not the kind of good that I really appreciate. Her music just didn’t genuinly delight me the same way Jill Sobule’s did. It actually bored me for the most part. I either want the most crazily interesting songs musically, or the most interesting lyrics. And she really had neither. It was too slow a pace for me, I think. The guy who opened before her was pretty cool, though! He wrote about some pretty hum-drum stuff, but I could dig his guitar-playing and entertaining improv songs. But it was fun doing random stuff with Renata. When Carrie was explaining how she was continuing in the Natural Disaster song trilogy, she mentioned she does a song called “Little Earthquakes”, and Renata and I just turned to eachother and “AaaaHed” silently. Speaking of Tori, in Neil’s journal, he mentions that “Scarlet’s Walk” is one of the 10 things that makes him happy. Haha, also there is the story about calling a movie person to speak about Death (fromt he endless). It’s very amusing. So go look under Sep 19th for a good laugh.

And then I had a CYSO rehearsal today, which passed much more quickly than it could have, but wasn’t as productive as one would wish. I will reiterate this point: Steven Huang and Allen Tinkham are the same person. Honest to god. The Planets is a very hard piece of music to play. Especially the wind parts in Uranus. Hemiolas and weird crap like that. And when the low brass is having trouble keeping in time with the winds, he stops them, says “It’s wrong, fix it”, and rehearses the same passage over and over again, though it doesn’t improve. I wish he could offer help in some way. It’s never a “think about it this sort of way” problem, it’s always a “that’s fixible if you just keep playing it” problem. And it drives me NUTS. It’s why nothing ever gets done!

Haa…sorry about that *gnashes teeth in spare time*

My blog is just screaming for a layout change. It’s not the Sano picture that’s tiring, but mainly the color-scheme. I’ve never been much of a fan of pastel, anyway. I have no idea what I’d even consider doing for another layout, though. Maybe Koucha Ouji, except I have no pretty picture of that manga. Sad as this may sound, that’s one reason I wanted the art book, so I could find some good pictures and scan them. Oooh, actually, Elfquest would be a cool layout. For those of you who’ve read it and remember the cool vine-elf border on the backs, that’s what I’d consider using. I don’t know, I’d have to take another look at that. Or perhaps V6…it’s certainly true I have enough of those pictures just randomly floating around the HD.

Eehee, went to Megan and Jamie’s and listened to the HanaKimi Drama CD#2 with the script that came from one of the sites. So cute! Mizuki’s voice is pretty good, although if you think about it, she never would have gotten away with it in an all boys school. Sano’s is alright, certainly not too deep or not deep enough, but it’s not quite the way I would have wanted it. It’s nice, anyway. The most pleasing of all was Nakatsu’s voice, which is almost exactly the way I would have imagined it to be! Teehee, I love Kansai-ben, even if I can’t understand half of what’s being spoken. At least I’ve mastered the basics (“chau”, “hen”, etc). Oooh, all this HanaKimi happiness makes me want to read the manga! Unfortunately, there’s something else I’m itching to have read right now, not really giving me much of a thought for manga. For the past week or so, I’ve been rereading “His Dark Materials”, as I have mentioned. I cannot express how wonderfully written this trilogy is! I highly recommend it to both fantasy/sci-fi fans, as well as people who simply like to read fiction! I finished the Subtle Knife about five minutes ago. That was kind of insane, reading the whole damn book in two days. Nice, in a way. But let me tell you, if you want all the thoelogical jumble to make sooo much more sense, read “Paradise Lost”. It was required reading for me last year in English Lit, although I thoroughly enjoyed reading it despite that. But I actually read an interview where Philip Pullman talks about Paradise Lost, and it never occured to me, having been so young reading the second book, that was what it was almost based from, in fact. Oooh, I can’t wait until I finish the trilogy! There’s nothing more satisfying than finishing a series, even if there are some not-so-happy facts about the ending (I can’t say any more).

Yay, going to see Carrie Newcomer at the Blue Moon tonight with Renata! I think Kellie, too. I haven’t heard anything of Carrie Newcomer’s music, but it’s rumoured that she’s very good. In fact, they’ve apparently moved the entire event to Presser Hall, because she’s way popular and the turn-out’s expected to be high. So that’ll be nice.

Whoa!

Yes, I’m in school right now, and yes, I’m sure I have something more important I could be doing than blogging, but this is like…an urgent post. About InuYasha! Okay, brace yourself. Now, I’m not jumping to any really big conclusions or anything, especially because this hasn’t been posted as a translation on Chris Rjik’s site yet, but instead, translated more simply by someone on the mailing list. Supposedly, in the latest chapter, Kikyou and Naraku die! I mean, I know Kikyou’s technically not alive, and I have no idea about the status of Naraku with living, but…they no longer exist. I would post the translation here, but it’s not mine to post. If you can wait maybe five days, I’m sure the full translation plus scans will be up here, on Chris Rjik’s page. I mean, for those of you who aren’t IY fans, this is a significant thing that could mean a closing of my favorite series, very soon. Being my favorite series, you’d think I’d like to see more of it, right? It’s currently at 26 volumes, and I actually lost track of the storyline somewhere into volume 20, and have been following bits and pieces of it ever since. I feel like the entire plot with Naraku has been carrying on almost endlessly for the last year or more. Seeing some closure is a little weird, but it’s a lot more satisfying than I would have thought. Then again, it’s also possible they could find a loophole and end up living and plaguing eachother again. It’s fitting, though, that Naraku and Kikyou would die together, if you think about it. Especially considering what that stupid stupid person from the list was predicting, that IY and Kikyou would die together and live in the Nirvana together forever. That made me really mad.

Hhaa…okay. So, yeah, I read about 110 pages of The Subtle Knife yesterday. It’s been a while since I’ve read a book so obsessively. I think the last one was actually Pride and Prejudice, which isn’t a trilogy revolving around “Dark Matter”. I can’t wait until I get to the third book, even though it’s…well…unmentionable. I can’t can’t can’t turn this entry into a spoiler for even some random person who may have wandered upon it (I’ve actually gotten “Dark Materiels” search referalls like most wouldn’t believe). Something else related on the same topic: apparently there are audiotapes of Philip Pullman narrating the entire series. And according to Emily, he has a very good voice for it. I’m really hoping I’ll get the chance to borrow those form the library. And something a little weird, I finished the first book Wednesday night at midnight on the dot. Like, I closed the book and looked at my watch which (set to military time) read “0:00 00”. That was just a little weird.

listening to: stuart davis – kaleidoscope

It was very eventful day for me and my recently re-fired Stuart Davis obsession (my obsessions run rampant circles around me). For sociology, we were asked to select lyrics to two songs that had something to do with society in America. For those of us who owned the CDs of the songs we chose, we were allowed to bring the music into share with the class. Today was this music-sharing day. The two songs I brought in were Ani DiFranco – Egos Like Hairdos and Stuart Davis – It’s All Just Because, both which confused and bothered my none-too-broadminded class. Their reactions were along the lines of “who the hell’s this?!” and “this is a pretty stupid song”, which I was expecting. I mean, if you check out the link for the lyrics of the Stuart song, you’ll maybe understand what kind of songs I played. By no means are the lyrics vulgar (I personally cherish his music for their lyrics), but they kind of make you wonder whether or not you should be insulted by what you just heard. So anyway, after class Ms. Smith was handing our CDs back to us, and she stopped me and said “Talia, I really like this song. Is there any way I can find a recording of it?” I could barely contain my excitement at that! I told her that the record label he goes under is more private, so you can’t find recordings stores generally, but that I’d burn her a copy (I also kind of gave her a very small Stuart rave, which she probably could have gone without, but whatever). I was absolutely floored! I mean, she’s the type with the humor to appreciate that kind of song, but I had no idea she would really care like that! Haha…I’m just affecting people with my favorite artists left and right. First Allie, now one of my teachers. But then I went and ranted to Renata about how much I love Stuart, and there was talk of a random trip to IA to see him perform, since I missed him at the Blue Moon. Hehe…and then during PE I fantasized what I’d say to Stuart if I ever met him. And I decided it would be something along the lines of :”Hi, Stuart, you don’t know me, but I’m a huge fan of your music and my level of intelligence is probably much lower than yours, and you’re that naked metallic dude!”. And I decided if that didn’t stir any sort of response, I’d use a back-up of “That moss is really lichen that tree!”. So, yes, that was my Stuart ramble for the day.

I’m kind of on a dual Stuart-Tori binge. I realized this morning what an incredibly awesome CD “Under The Pink” is. It can generally take me a while to discover every song on an album, just because I latch onto one song at a time. It can take me weeks or even months to find some of the best songs. But between Pretty Good Year, Past the Mission, Cornflake Girl, and Space Dog, there isn’t much left to be desired with UTP. I’m so enthusiastic about it, and yet my number one Tori album is hands down, Boys for Pele (I thought TJ was wearing a keychain that said “Boys for Pele” the other day, but it turns out I’m just dyslexic).

I need to pr-aaactice!

Grrr. Teen angst makes me growl. I mean, seeing teen angst in other people. I understand that people will be depressed by random particular things in high school…but…why does it turn into one big show of emo and dark writing? Oh, I don’t know. I mean, I go crazy sometimes, but I try to only go crazy…and not be like…suicidal. I especially don’t like it when it seems people are just begging for some pity with their melancholy show. This is just from my eyes, mind you. And I’m more apt and appreciative of being by myself a lot. So maybe I act a bit different when I’m down. I tend to want to read a lot when something has me depressed. And it doesn’t only take my mind off of things, it actually helps to calm me down in the matter of…whatever is bothering me. I don’t know. Life is good, with its music and literature and many foreign languages.

Jamie, Megan and I went to Ming’s Wok for lunch! And I rediscovered General Tsao’s Chicken. Mmmm. For a temporary time, it was a very large Chinese-food turn-off for me because of the awful awful version that comes from the school store. And then madrigals came and went and I wished very dearly that I did not have perfect pitch. Honestly, it’s awful, to know exactly when and where the pitch slides and not be able to do anything specific to help unless everyone else is making the same effort. Nobody is paying attention to our pitch. As long as they can sing the notes and produce a pretty sound, we could slide three or four whole steps and nobody would give a damn. If I didn’t have perfect pitch, it wouldn’t bother me nearly so much. And I was kind of disappointed about the “Up on the Roof” solo, just because there are always the same people in line for solos in Chorus II, and I’m never really one of them. I would at least liked to have seen someone different. Whatever. I’m not too hurt personally because I did get the “Ah-rirang” solo last year and that was preeeetty. Our rehearsal today was kind of spastic, though. We got through all our music even though we started late, and paused to remenisce about stupid and amusing things. I miss last year’s Chorus II, even if I’m now sitting near Megan D, who’s one of my faavorite poeple.

Finally, last night, I sat down with my cello and practiced non-stopped for about an hour and a half.I have not parcticed un-interrupted for..oh so long. This reminds me that I need to call my cello teacher about a lesson. Like, now. Fuwaaaah.

I want food! I wanna hair cut! I wanna pony! Nyaaah!

Today in Japanese I accidently ended up agreeing that I sleep with my eyes open. In Japanese, of course. This was Thomas-sensei asking questions using causitives. But, do you ever have those days where you simply can’t figure one word out? Where things just seem like one big jumble because you’re sleep and inattentive? That was me today. I could not for the life of me place that “nerareru” had anything to do with sleep. So when sensei asked “Do you ever sleep with your eyes open?” I nodded my head “un” because I didn’t quite know what he was asking. The two Japanese observers laughed at me, horaay. But later, when one of them was correcting my mis-written katakana for “terebi” (-_- isn’t that sad), I replied with “souka”, and they were both like “wow, she sounds Japanese”. So I guess things ended with a positive note.

And…there’s this all-encompasing conspiracy going on, revolving around getting me to go to Homecoming. Unfortunately for me and my incredibly lazy self, it’s worked. Dagnabit, I’m too lazy for this sort of thing! Especially since CYSO started. But I can’t bring myself to not go. Especially because Rob’s mom was so excited by this prospect (haha ^_~). It’s just the preparing and the finding of a dress that will really really bother me. I guess I shouldn’t approach the “freak out” state too quickly, though. It may turn out that I simply don’t have enough time for it. I have a freaking college-lesson coming up, aside from two Youth Symphony rehearsals per week in addition to some of the laziest tendancies imagineable. U~~~h! But I’d feel bad if I didn’t go!

Just…a random thought…do high schools in Japan have special events like we have here? They do sometimes in shoujo manga, but I wouldn’t trust what shoujo manga teaches me if my life depended on it. I doubt there’s anything like a Homecoming or a Prom but…do they do anything besides take trips and play sports and weave baskets? That’s something I’m really interested in finding out. Hopefully I’ll get to find out for myself, with a genuine experience someday (fufufu).

listening to: judy and mary – peace

I’ve discovered something that may be partially responsible for my forgetting everything I want to blog the moment I connect to the internet: multi-tasking!! It’s all because of my short attention-span! I open multiple windows and read other people’s blogs while I’m typing and become distracted! That’s why my book has quality writing in it. Because I sit down with no other distractions and write ’till my hand kills, damn you, multi-tasking. From now on, if I have something in mind to blog before I get to the computer, it’s the first thing I should do *nod* Isn’t it sad how seriously I take blogging? I actually plan parts of my day around sitting down at the computer and typing an entry. And I take particular note of things I should put in my blog. That’s actually another area where I go wrong. I should either write down specific things to blog or try not to think about them at all, and simply come to type empty-headed. Ugh. Isn’t this shameful?

Hmm. And now I’ve all but completely run out of things to say. What happened to me today? What did I do? Oh. That’s why I’ve run out of things to say. Because I went to CYSO and almost diiiied from three hours of rehearsal. Half the time, Allen was lecturing and prepping the low brass on how to tune their instruments. Although I did get loads of amusement as Allen looked like he wanted to crush us when he was really pleased with the way we played. I’m starting to like the cello section a lot more, which is kind of a relief. Suddenly I just don’t care about the doubts that were gnawing at me before. Who cares if people get political about seating? I can just detach myself from that particular view, right? Ugh, sometimes it’s difficult for me to not be my idiot self. And then after rehearsal Kyle waved at me! I was so happy, although I didn’t quite wave back at him in time because I was too busy trying to figure out if he was actually waving at me. Still, people acknowleding my existence! I’ve come a long way in the last *counts* two weeks.

Today was good. It started off with the analysis and playing of boardgames in Sociology. Aah, Chutes and Ladders. Except it’s one of the most unimaginative games ever. Even as a child, I recall disliking it. But we turned it into a wicked game of unjustified Chutes and Ladders. Not all the pieces were together and intact with the board, so we made a few minor adjustments. One of the cardboard characters had no stand, so we referred to that one as the “cripple” or “gimp”. And since there were five of us and only four pieces, we added a quarter, referring to it as “the President”, or later, “the advanced white kid”. Of the remaining pieces, we had the white kid, the black kid, and the female. The winning stakes were like so: the president, the white kid, the female, the black kid, and…well…the gimp was never fortunate enough to make it off the board. We (in good humour) took this as a metaphor for society in the US, which Ms. Smith may or may not have been much pleased about. In any case, she certainly was confused by our psychotic laughter. But…that game is seriously just…grr! I mean, you don’t have any control over where you’re going, and still end up stealing cookies from jars and falling, skating on thin ice and falling, or riding your bike too fast and…falling, without any intention being a trouble-maker. Grrr. And what do you to do deserve winning the game, exactly? Winning a dog show. This game is teaching our children that you can do as many bad things as you want (or don’t want), and still end up first place in the dog show. No wonder the children of today’s society are so messed up, right? (AAHAHA XD)

Random Tae Kwon Do teachers came to Personal Fitness to teach us how to defend ourselves. It was actually a lot more fun than PE regularly. We learned really simple ways to escape and sometimes thoroughly injure attackers. We also got to pretend-strangle eachother multiple times and then knock eachother over onto fitness mats. I was with Helena, though, and we were both kind of “this requires touching…which is forbidden” people, so yeah. It was all acceptable, though. We developed a kind of “you touch me, I throw you onto floor” relationship, in the end.

And then guess who overlooked a Japanese presentation on her syllabus? Yeah. So I made up seven short sentances about being sick. And it sucked, but at least I have fairly good pronunciation. Someone actually told me this for comfort while I was freaking out over not having anything memorized. That helped a little bit. And then we learned causitives! Which I’ve understood for quite a while, but I always feel like it’s official once we’ve learned it from the book. Whoopee.

And then back at school I randomly conversed with people. Like Molly. We were talking about how going to a school nearby or even *gasp* in town wouldn’t bother us. I used to think going to school way away from home was the only way for me, but I think that notion came from my sister, since I always wanted to copy her, especially before she left for college. I actually just realized I’m a lot different from her simply because I actually grew up here. I mean, she lived in Germany and Ohio before coming here, at a relative age of maybe nine. So the thought of moving never bothered her, as opposed to its terrifying me. Central Illinois drove her insane, I think, with it’s simplicity and flatness. So when the time for her to leave came, she went far away. And me? Well, I may have been born in Ohio, but I can’t remember anything but here. So I have a really great appreciation for the stuff of McLean co and B-N. And also a high tolerance for everything that’s in them. I like it here, and even if I don’t want to live here forever, four more years doesn’t seem like forever.

Yawn. And now to go laze around! Whoosh!

I’ve noticed recently that I’m doing a lot better job paying absolutely no attention to my surroundings. Imagining I’m really somewhere else. I sort of orient myself in my experiences with the combination of colors, light and smell. And music. I miss Japan. And Boston. It’s tough to want to be everywhere at once. I’ve decided I should give up trying to control specific aspects of what happens to me this year, and just try to work to the expectancy of the adults. Yeah, I’ve been freaking out about this “what I want to do and where” thing waaay too much. I’ve actually been stressing over it. Which isn’t right for the current time. I should just focus on filling out apps and working on auditions and then freak out when I know what my options will actually be. And then the rest should simply fall into place, as about a hundred or so people I’ve talked to have put it. Yeah, sometimes I need to remind myself that I can’t arrange everything here and now. Yay for a bit of relief.

I burnt one kick-ass CD for my friend Allie in CYSO. One of the few people who I found truly pleasant to talk to, we discovered that we had extremely similar tastes in music. Or at least, we liked a lot of what the other listened to. I was practically floored by her extremely positive reaction to the Judy and Mary song I forced upon her. So we decided we’d take advantage of all this inexpensive electronic junk and burn eachother CDs. Here’s what I put on hers, whether or not you care:

1 Ani DiFranco – Names and Dates and Times

2 Blonde Redhead – Melody of Certain Three

3 They Might Be Giants – The Sun Is A Mass Of Incandescent Gas

4 Bjork – I’ve Seen It All

5 R.E.M. – Crazy

6 U2 – New Years Day

7 Pixies – Monkey Gone To Heaven

8 Ani DiFranco – Egos Like Hairdos

9 Hooverphonic – Renaissance Affair

10 Swim – Drought

11 Elliot Smith – Needle in the Hay

12 Tori Amos – Cornflake Girl

13 Stuart Davis – Jonah

14 Blue Man Group – UTNE Wire Man

15 Radiohead – Karma Police

16 Nick Drake – Pink Moon

17 Ashley MacIsaac – Hills Of Glenorchy

18 Pixies – Hey

19 Swim – Anomaly

20 R.E.M. – Half a World Away (live acoustic)

21 Stuart Davis – Asshole World Reknown

Go me. I’m burning her another one that’s a collection of songs by entirely Japanese artists. It was my own spastic decision to include Cibo Matto as “Japanese”. Haa–…that’s really all I have to say.

Yoohoo.

We (Justin L and I) discovered that Marion and I are copies of eachother. At least, today we were. We were both wearing red shirts and brown pants with sneakers, as well as both wearing glasses. That and the never-changing similar hair-lengths. So yeah, we both just stared at him for a while to freak him out. I guess I really do look kinda like Marion, though. Apparently, Ms Ehrlich approached her from behind and was like “Hi, Talia”, until she saw that it wasn’t Talia. Hehe…Marion didn’t know who the teacher was..but from the description I got, I really couldn’t think of any other teachers like that. Apparently, this teacher said “Oh, I knew you weren’t Talia a split second before I said her name!”. Yep, that’s Ms. Ehrlich. So yeah, we decided that we’re going to do something for “twins” day during Homecoming week. What, I don’t know. I’ll have to keep pondering. Maybe we can have some foreign theme going on.

Hehe…there’s a really great Corpus quote from today in madrigals that I think I should share: “There’s some serious groping going on in the soprano section!”. Hehehe. It’s almost as good as when we actually got her to say “I am death. Sit down”. Between Ms. Ehrlich and Mrs. Corpus, I really need to start copying quotes down on paper. I always forget the stuff Ehrlich says…

Whoosh, off to Youth Symphony!

Okay…this is not my real entry for today. This is like…the ten minute pre-cello lesson entry. Something I should really do is take my notebook with me everywhere so I can jot down things to blog about later. I’m all about the five-second memory span. Seriously, I write so much good crap when I’m traveling with my book.

Ooh! Who’s a loswer? ME! Nightcrawler is GERMAN! Gyaah! Why couldn’t I figure that out last night when Renata imposed that question?! That reminds me, on the way back from Green Lake, we watched X-Men, and I don’t think I’d seen it since it came out two years ago. But yeah, I forgot how much I liked Wolverine and hated Cyclops. I also forgot the quality amusement I get from “big round room”. Oh…the laughter…

listening to: elliot smith – needle in the hay

Hmm. I was really only half-seriously considering the whole “identity protection” thing, until I got a load of comments and response to it (thanks, all!). Especially with the idea that old friends of my parents are just typing my name into search engines, finding this site, and having the stuffing confused out of them by what they see is what really got me thinking. I mean, if I were in a normal adult’s shoes, I probably wouldn’t take notice of a blog or livejournal. As for ranting about people and having them find those rants, that’s another matter. I try to blog keeping in mind that sort of thing, that people I don’t particularly favor as friends may stumble upon this site. I don’t want them to find negative things about themselves. That’s why I rant more specifically about things and people in my own personal notebook, not one that I generally let other people view (unless they’re comfortable with the level of irritation that it may contain, or know me well enough to handle it). The thought of people from school reading this doesn’t bother me. As for parents, friends of parents and teachers searching me up on the web, I repeat, that I can’t say I know many adults would take a horrible amount of interest in a blog or livejournal. I can’t see that faculty at a music school would stop and examine this site to find out more about me. They’d be looking more for awards relating to music, resumes and junk like that. And also, now that I think about the amount of offensive content on this site, there really isn’t too much. Just an occasional inappropriate word or two and a lot of stuff about manga or Japan that few people understand, anyway. The most embarassing part would be my layout, just because it’s Sano *shrug* And as for stalkers? Well…that’s the one reason that hands down, I’d take my name and location off the net. It hasn’t happened yet, but I know I should at least be careful. And…I really don’t have the heart to de-searchify my site, just because referalls are one of the little things I get amusement out of in life. So this is all really just part of my paranoia, I guess. Or then again, I’ve never really stopped and considered privacy protection for myself…

My dad wants to go on a college visit during a really bad weekend. September 27th-29th. That’s pretty much impossible. It’s required for Chorus that we sing during the Homecoming game on the 27th. And I might be able to arrange an excused absense, but Mrs. Corpus really appreciates us all making an effort to work through these conflicts, especially if it’s not mandatory (which this isn’t). Also, if I think right, there’s a possible gig I’m playing on the 28th. And if I don’t, that’s a day I’d like to try to get to Mitsuwa, with a little help from my friends (XD i’m not too serious about that, though, even if the thought is nice *niko*). That Friday is just a mess. But my dad can be really persistant. There’s got to be some other weekend we can set aside, though! Nyah!

Heehee…I made somebody laugh today!

Mondays suck. Lesse. I searched my name on “Google” the other night. And “melody of certain three” was like second on the list besides Kellie’s site. I was really curious more than anything else. It didn’t really prove anything to me. So today I’m flipping through the already opened mail, and I come accross this greeting card with lots of Hebrew written on it. I figured this was one of our old synagogue friends (because we used to be avid members of the Jewish Temple around here, for those who never knew, or never would have guessed based on my very aryan features…). But I read it out of curiosity, and whoever this person is said “I’ve seen Erica and Talia’s names on the internet! You must be very proud!” and all I could think was “Oh my GOD! Whoever this person is, they’ve seen my site and my blog! And my Japan and manga obsessions! And all the obsceneties I use in my entries! AAH!” And my mother laughed and said “Gosh, we’ll have to search your name up, Talia”, to which I said following a lot of nervous laughter “Oh, there’s nothing special about me”. Ga—n. And that makes me think maybe I should stop using my name on my info page and stuff. And maybe get rid of age and school and pictures. And make people wonder endlessly about my real identity.

And…just to warn you now, this is a “my future” kind of unhappy rant. If you don’t appreciate those, please move on ^_^ Okay. Here goes. Transition: AAAAAAAH! I don’t want to go to college! Well, I do, but not doing what everyone wants me to do. I’ve pretty much come to the decision that while I do want to include music in college, I don’t know if I want it to be my focus. Unfortunately for me, music is probably the clear thing to get me into a good school. I’m a good student, but most of my time and extracurriculars have gone towards music one way or the other. Oberlin interests me because it’s the best place to get a double degree (which I’m really interested in). But my parents aren’t too excited about paying a Harvard-esque amount for tuition for me as well as my sister. And I just don’t know about U of I. So this was like…what I had in my head when I got home from school. I’ve calmed down a lot since then, but it happens every once in a while that I’ll just go absolutely ballistic about one thing or another. Usually once every couple months. And I guess this was just the random subject for this particular bout of insanity. But yeah, I’m actually somewhat interested in U of I(owa), with consideration of their cello teacher, Japanese program, and location. Really. Blogging these things out helps to calm me down sooo much, even if other people have to suffer through them.

Aaah. Relief. And with that, I’m going to go off and watch Who’s Line. My parents have Opera this week, so they’re practically never home. Which is the best way for me to be lazy.

Went to see Jill Sobule at the Blue Moon Coffeehouse. She was amaaaazing! I really had no idea what to expect, because I hadn’t ever heard her music before. But it was everything that appeals to me in acoustic stuff. Waaah! I would have bought a CD, but they were $15 and I had like 8. Sigh. But I intend to buy whatever I can scrounge up around here. Songs I particularly liked and can recall: the jig is up, trains, jet pack, good person inside, karen at night, all the biography songs. I liked everything she performed, of course, but there were particular stand-outs. I was most utterly amused by the song “Kathy Lee’s in Love with Me”, which I felt the unexplainable need to mention. Happy sigh.

I also discovered a new song on Above and Beyond (it always takes me a while to discover every song on an album. Swim’s just happens to be…amazingly good), “Sail Over the Ocean”. I love practically every song on that album. Dammit! Now I wanna see RENT. RRRR.

Blaaaaaah. I don’t wanna go to Symphony tomorrow. I guess the four hours total of driving will be a good opportunity to read something. But what? I’ve gone on a Philip Pullman streak since having to make a poster on him. I could always start with His Dark Materials again. Or hey…with the Chamber of Secrets coming out (btw, Kenneth Branaugh is Lockhart! Kyaaa!), it might be a good opportunity to reread Harry Potter. Except for the fact that I don’t have books 1 and 2. Tsuuun.

listening to: cibo matto – know your chicken

Fuwaaaaa! I’m tired. Sleeping didn’t go as well as I would have wanted it do last night. I had the weirdest dream that I had to drive a bunch of people to Youth Symphony in Peoria, even though most of them were just random people from school or creations of my subconscious mind. But yeah, I had to do it in the middle of the night, and apparently there was like a dark factor that headlights couldn’t fight through (ie, the dark was actually eating away at any light). So we had to stop somewhere along the way to find out that the ocean was eating away at the earth and the start of it all was in Morton, IL. So we all almost died. There was a much greater subplot to this dream, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was.

Saw “Importance of Being Earnest” last night. Was goooood! Yay for Colin Firth! Although I really enjoy seeing him as Mr. Darcy, I think, more than Mr…however I should refer to him. But that’s just my personal opinion. I enjoyed it, nontheless. Normal Theatre was PACKED, though. A bunch of U high people there. And then a bunch of giggly ISU freshmen girls who I wanted to throw my shoes at. Ruff.