I came home, fell asleep for fifteen minutes, and my parents were gone. Now I’m disoriented, and…alone. I’m starting to hate that word. Today was not fun, in any way. I spent most of today trying not to fall out of my chair in pain. Which actually reminds me of a moderate incident with pants that occured. It was vastly amusing, in it’s own way.
I’m a spoiled brat. My dad bought me a Kodak digital camera. I didn’t ask for it or anything. He just comes home “Hey, Talia here’s something you should like.” HOLY CRAP! I mean, really, it was nice, but I just don’t think I deserve stuff like that. He might as well not spend anything on me, and save it for the estimated $15,000+ cello. I haven’t used it yet, because I haven’t really been home to use it. But eventually I’ll find an opportunity.
U~~~hn. I’m starting to worry about school already. This is probably the last thing I should be worrying about, especially with where I stand right now, but I’ve come to realize that I have basically one actual friend at U-High next year. I mean, there are acquantances but…I don’t know. That’s sort of how I feel from how people have been with me this summer. I know I should actually try to go to the trouble of making phone-calls and arranging things instead of waiting to catch poeple online and be content to simply chatting, but I’m not fond of telephones, and I guess AIM isn’t really something a lot of people use. It seems like I’ll never see U-High people outside of school again. At least that’s how I feel. Oh well. It’s not as though I’m going to have too abundant an amount of free-time on my hands next year. Especially between auditions, practicing, and two youth symphonies…I’ll be busy. … But then who am I kidding? Companionship is something I really enjoy, and have come to want…I guess I’m nervous with people…and have always felt sort of unwanted, just from that nervousness. *whine* Geez. I shouldn’t even be allowed to post things like this. I should try to keep myself away from the keyboard when I’m like this, but it have such horrible tendancies to do quite the opposite, and almost depend on it. So I’m sorry. I’d delete that, but I really can’t do that, either. People who read my blog will really just have to deal with crap like this on occasion. Or even often. I’m going to blame this on how disoriented I am right now. But maybe I should just fess up and say that this is how I really feel.
On the other hand, I do have quite a few great friends outside of U-High. Emily and I have been around eachother all week, and that’s been cool. Together, we’ve experienced two great conductors, some really cool musicians, not to mention skipping three concerts and a cook-out. And I found a message from Rachel last night, from Encore in Ohio. It’s too bad she couldn’t have called 15 minutes later than she did, because I would have been home. My mom is talking about stopping at Encore and visiting her for a while, which would float my boat SOOO much. It will be like…exactly a year after we met if that happens, which would be cool. I’m seriously going to spend X-mas in Annapolis if we head east this winter. WHOOSH. Haha, Jamie and Megan randomly came to my house last night, and we watched two episodes of Aishiteru to Ittekure, which I like, btw. Great idea: wearing our yukata to the fireworks at fairview park. Man, would that randomly disturb some people. And just be really fun. Megan and I walked like a block of our neighborhood in our Yukata last Halloween. Er…the Halloween when Megan was actually in this part of the world. It was sort of difficult.
I want to never play the bass again. Like, seriously I want to quit. A member of BoA brought his BEAUTIFUL electric bass to BoA today. I played it for 30 seconds, but then felt embarassed and handed it back to him. Then he started playing and really did embarass me. He’s so good. That just shakes all my motivation.
My dad is like…swearing from the kitchen. That was after he came and looked very upset by the fact that the clean dishes had not yet been removed from the dishwasher. As thought I had been HOME to do it…although I have been home for a good…erm…hour. Yeah, I should go. Definitely go.